Why didn’t you leave the narcissist sooner? I get it, I didn’t leave the narcissistic partner in my life for eight years! I tried seven times, but it didn’t stick until I finally learned of my own power and was done buying into his lies.
The challenge is to be unapologetically you AF, and giving yourself grace that your experience didn’t happen to you, but happened through you. Find support to leave the relationship with the Narcissist.
“I get to decide. I come back to finding experiences, magical moments. I wanna experience all of these things and I get to come back to these things. And I really think that’s something we forget that we have the power to choose. We’re not tied to a person or a situation or an event or a circumstance we have to wake up and just be like, oh wow. I actually have the power to walk away from here.”
Ana C Jones
Listen to Podcast
The Full Moon in Sagittarius and Human Design Gates: A Powerful Combination for Empath Healing – Empath And The Narcissist: Healing with Human Design from Trauma & Emotional Abuse
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Today I share a conversation with Life Coach Ana C Jones and why she didn’t leave the Narcissist she was in a relationship with on the podcast.
Here is what I took away from our conversation:
Narcissistic manipulation happens to the best of us.
The Narcissistic Personality Disorder has mastered surviving in their cloak of magic tricks to stay within the “village”. They have been consciously mastering, and getting away with, their manipulation tactics ever since they were around five.
It has fooled many psychologists, doctors, highly educated and bright individuals. They prey on those who give people the benefit of the doubt. They sell hope in a bottle, and once you open it it wreaks of toxic fumes. The person who continues to hold onto that hope will accept their abuse. And until you accept reality, you will not leave.
If you are in a toxic relationship, you are toxic.
OOH! Does this one hurt? First off this is not my saying. Ana’s wise mother said this. And we all know healthy mamas know best.
Give it a moment to let your ego drop and embrace that this is true. If we all choose our circumstances by our choices, choosing to stay and not stand in your power, is a sign that your weakness is toxic to your thriving.
At your core you are not toxic. But you have an unhealed wound leaking and not being healed. This leak is attracting the narcissist, like fresh blood to a wolf. When you are vulnerable, you are emitting a little toxin.
Ana says “I recommend that you look into that because, why you have the relationships that you have and how you end up with people is how you subconsciously choose these relationships that you’re in.
Because it’s no coincidence. It’s not like, oh, it just happened. We brought them into our reality for a reason.”
Even if you haven’t been abused, be knowledgable to prevent it.
Knowledge is power in any life situation. However when dealing with a narcissist, it is essential!
If you haven’t experienced abuse, I am sure you have encountered a strange interaction with a narcissist. You shrugged it off and went on your way. Brilliant!
However, knowing the terms and knowledge of their tactics will help prevent you ever getting into a deep romantic relationship or business partnership with a narcissist.
And of course working on your self love and improvement, for the sake that you wish to mature and thrive, will help you be resilient. But as Ana shared, she was and is a life coach. And she still was tricked into thinking her new beau was truly a great guy. And everyone around them did as well. Until she became close to him in the relationship.
The narcissist cannot put their show on 24/7.
When you are desperate, you are vulnerable
This point goes back to what I mentioned before, the narcissist purposefully goes for the weak. Just as a bully doesn’t take on the leader of a group, they attack the weak and defenseless. Narcissists play with your feelings to trap you into this toxic, chaotic concoction of love and insults.
And when you are not strong in your self independence, and seeking love and self worth outside yourself, they will sniff you out and entrap you.
Practice healing your childhood wounds, and self improvement with effective exercises on how to live as your true self in my book to help you develop a strong sense of self worth and independence. And you will be a narcissist repellant instead of a magnet.
They pretend to pamper you, but in the end they have no empathy
This pseudo caring for you is the Narcissist’s way to show evidence they love you when an argument occurs. But when push comes to shove, they will turn on you and play the victim in a heart-beat.
Poor Ana got in a horrible accident, injuring her leg, on a trip they took. He fixed her up, pampered her, and then she fell asleep. But when he crawled in bed, without regard to take care of her leg, she woke up and winced. He immediately took offense to that, and asked her “How could you do that to me?” Implying after all I did for you, you don’t trust me, or you are being too sensitive, toughen up. That is a perfect example of a lack of empathy.
True empathy makes the effort to put theirselves in the others shoes, and is sensitive in the most tender moments. – Not playing the victim.
This is your next step to defeating the narcissist. Learn how to master your boundaries. How to release responsibility for another’s emotional response. How to feel the power of your self sovereignty, free yourself from narcissistic abuse, and draw long lasting, powerful boundaries. Get your free Narcissist Abuse Recovery workshop now at Raven scott.show/free-workshop
And remember —
Always keep your unique light shining!
~Raven Scott
P.S. I’m excited to be a part of Trauma to Triumph special event!
- There will be aware Narcissist speakers, Professional Speakers, and Survivors teaching and sharing. I’ll be leading a short guided meditation. VIP tickets will be available. The event is on Oct 30, 2022. Stay tuned for details!
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Raven Scott is an Ambassador of gain your sparkle back after narcissist abuse and Coach helping empaths heal from their black sheep wound through her transformational program.
As an international author, narcissist abuse recovering coach, Podcast host of Empath & Narcissist and creator of Embracing your Black Sheep Program she is dispelling the narcissist power one soul at a time.
Raven Scott is providing women, who are feeling lost and alone in their journey, a community to kick ass as we become empowered together while healing from childhood trauma, abusive relationships, or plain old life, and awaken to rewrite our karmic story. Through astrology, self care, human design, & intuition.
We are energetically clearing ancestral patterns one step at a time to find our power and potential through healing so you can live empowered the unique loved individual you desire to be. Topics covered: Self development, Human design, Astrology, tarot, meditative thoughts, intuitive message from spirit, and expert guests sharing different spiritual healing modalities.