“And sometimes it takes falling apart for better things to fall into place. Sometimes it takes losing what you are settling for to remind you what you truly deserve. Sometimes it takes the most uncomfortable paths. To lead your life to the most beautiful place.”
Listen to the podcast here this week
In a current relationship, or in a past relationship there are ways you can determine your emotional needs are not being met.
1. You feel burned out
You have not been able to take a break from your partner’s needs, and their high demand of partying and socializing.
Empaths take on other’s energies and can be overwhelmed and run down without down time and alone time.
The Narcissist’s tactic, to keep you under their control, is brain fog. They wake you up, and they don’t allow you to sleep. This is a sign that they are not nourishing you and they are hurting you. As a result you are exhausted and yo are burnt-out. This is the number one sign that your emotional needs are not being met.
Set boundaries let your lover know you need space. Schedule time to retreat and recover from exhaustion. Draw those powerful boundaries so that you can hold them and you can recover and rest in your alone time in nature. By reading a book, lounging around in the house and just being by yourself.
2. Sacrificing pleasure for duty
The second sign your emotional needs are not being met is you are sacrificing pleasure for duty. We had just heard this on Episode 68 with Karine Brule. She talked about how you are constantly being kind and sacrificing your own needs, your own pleasure to do what is the “right thing”. Which you have been taught all your life to do.
But if you have someone who’s highly demanding and is not putting in effort as well, and contributing to the house and relationship, then you are a servant. And there is no reward for all your sacrifices. Just more demands and heart ache.
3. You feel lonely
Feeling lonely and disconnected is the worst feeling to have when you are with someone. You are in a cold icy prison and whom you are trapped with is the one creating the cold.
When your self value and worth is intertwined with another’s attitude toward you that is a dangerous place to be. This state puts you in a position to please them constantly.
The narcissist does not truly love and cherish you with compliments, reassurance, and touch. What you desire and fantasize about exists, and you can have that with a healthy partner.
Cultivate hobbies, and self love holding your inner child and being your own mother in order to become strong and know you are worthy of the love you wish.
4. Feeling overwhelmed
Empaths are constantly tuning into the negative emotions and energy of others without knowing it. In turn, you feel a deep pressure to stop the discomfort by appeasing and entertaining others. And if you are not aware of your constant amplification you will find yourself overwhelmed.
You need to become aware of this survival habit, and build up your empath protection bubble around your aura.
The Narcissist will not stop and ask you how you are feeling. They will put more pressure and guilt on you that you are not being a good enough partner for them. Their negativity will drag you into a dark vortex causing you to numb yourself with substances, keep yourself busy, or have suicidal thoughts.
“Stop caring, what they think, stop thinking they care, master these two things and instantly increase your peace of mind.” Jackson @jkzn.wav
5. Avoid Conflict
With a narcissist, you do not feel safe enough to be able to express your emotions because whenever you do a conflict arises. And while avoiding conflict you push your body too far, and you will make a mistake, or fall apart and disappoint the narcissist. Which in turn becomes a be-raiding of insults, silent treatment, abuse and/or punishments.
Growing your courage and strength and resilience in healthy conflict resolution is important. And you don’t have to pick fights, but being able to stand your ground, And say, “This is how I’m feeling. /This is what I think on this topic. / I am not willing to do this.” Will establish you are not going to take it anymore. That will lead to an escalation, however, you know best how to protect yourself and loved ones. In some cases, it is leaving in the middle of the night. Then holding your ground once out through a mediator.
Stop avoiding conflict. The more you do that, the more you will gain, resolve. And finally be done putting up with the abuse. Because you realize you cannot even speak your own truth with them, and be yourself. They are not going to hear you or change. So you are determined to leave.
6. Go to your Children for Love
When you feel lonely and your emotional needs are not being met, you will seek out, your children to cuddle with and help you not feel lonely anymore.
And there’s a difference between having beautiful, healthy bonds with your children and providing them a safe and cozy cuddly place, versus your gaining support from them. That puts the child in a very awkward position. And makes them skip their development stage and grow up too fast. There for stunting their emotional growth.
If you do not have children, you will look to another person to meet your needs, and have an affair.
These are the warning signs empaths emotional needs are not being met in your current relationship.
Grow strong, develop courage, and your self worth and self-love. You need to develop strength to stay the course and to stay away from the narcissist to use the gray rock method. To go no contact, or very low contact, with the narcissist. Life is too short; there is no need to play into their drama.
Keep your unique light shining!
- Grab your FREE narcissist abuse recovery workshop: It is your next step to defeating the Narcissist
- Buy Empath and the Narcissist Book on Amazon with brand new cover and The audible version will be available by mid August
- Bumped Bruised and Blessed posted a conversation with me on Narcissistic mothers on her YouTube channel
- I’m excited to be a part of a special event on Oct. 30th called Trauma to Triumph. There will be aware Narcissists speaking, Professional Therapists speaking, and Survivors (such as myself) sharing. And I will be leading a short guided meditation. VIP tickets will be available .
Follow & Stay tuned for details!
