Narcissists Were a Conduit for Spiritual Growth | S3 Ep 51

Signs You Are Going Through a Spiritual Awakening with Natasha Von Salza

“The reason you are with a narcissist because there is a wound that needs to come to the surface to be healed.”

– Natasha Von Salza
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How to Embrace your Queen Energy and Shed the Narcissist's Control with Lady Portia Empath And The Narcissist: Healing Guide from Abuse and PTSD

"Don’t give two shits about what anybody else thinks dance to the beat of your own drum. " – Marcus Hunter NeilLearn how to rid yourself of the toxic narcissist in your life and step up into your own queen power. Today I share a conversation with Marcus Hunter Neil pioneer drag queen Lady Portia Instagram: https://instagram.com/ladypandme (@ladypandme) Marcus is a MindValleys Irish Ambassador, Coach, TedTalker, Podcaster, Pioneer Drag Queen, Ambassador for the NSPCC Here are some key moments: Being with a narcissist is like Grey Gardens pretending to be glitterati while you’re living in a dilapidated house. “ No one sets out to actively be a narcissist and the victim of a narcissist. It just happens.“ It's the narcissists personality. Be your own wing man, defend yourself and take no mistreatment Relationship should be a want not a need No matter how much self work you do if you and the other person are not a fit you are not a fit Know your values know your worth. Because if you don’t have standards then you will shape shift for whomever you’re with. Do not put anybody even royalty on a pedestal because we are all human beings at the end of the day Here’s a test exercise can you list five things that you love about your narcissistic partner? if not then you are stuck in a scenario in the wrong environment and you’re making excuses each day as to why you will not break up with them.  Love yourself radically. Be secure enough in your own skin no matter what happens when you come out on the other side it will all be fine.  https://the-thriving-intuitive.captivate.fm/https-bit-ly-3xjlfvb (Trauma 2 Triumph FREE Ticket) Follow and DM me http://intagram.com/ravencottshow (@ravencottshow )"free gift" to get your FREE Draw Powerful Boundaries Workshop Better Help : https://betterhelp.com/empath (Empath get 10% off your first month) Empath & The Narcissist https://ravenscott.show/empath-and-the-narcissist (Book) : Support the Show Get Human Design Reading:https://ravenscott.show/shop ( SHOP ) Grab coaching sessions and more FREE Gifts on the website http://Ravenscott.show/blog (Ravenscott.show) Madhvi – https://madhvi.ca (Emotion Code FREE Inquiry Call) Music YouTube Library: Til I Let Go by Neffex Mentioned in this episode: Trauma 2 Triumph Summit https://the-thriving-intuitive.captivate.fm/https-bit-ly-3xjlfvb (Trauma 2 Triumph FREE Ticket)
  1. How to Embrace your Queen Energy and Shed the Narcissist's Control with Lady Portia
  2. Emotional Damage and Recovery from Narcissistic Abuse through the Emotion Code
  3. How to Relieve Anxiety from Narcissistic Abuse through your Gut with Camila Smith
  4. Why Empaths Attract Narcissists with Soulmate Coach Jeanne Sullivan Billeci
  5. 16 Self Care Tips for Libra Season – Bonus
Host: Raven Scott
Guest: Natasha Von Salza

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Spiritually heal from childhood trauma, narcissistic abuse with inner child love and astrology.

Youtube Live Human Design Explained : Is it self improvement?

Narcissists Were a Conduit for Spiritual Growth | S3 Ep 51

Welcome back to the Empath and the narcissist podcast. The mission of this podcast is to bring you education, inspiration, and empowerment. Through relatable conversations. Empowering information. And self-healing practices.

[00:00:16] Raven Scott: Natasha Von Salza is a wounded healer and she has picked up tools to support an aid to help this collective anchor the energies of the new earth, where limitless capabilities await. She is here to bring heaven to earth through her embodiment of the divine or. We’re going to be talking today about how to heal from past trauma, from narcissist abuse and healing, our inner child.

And I love that we’re going to dive a little bit deeper into some astrological perspective on this, which has really opened my eyes and given me so much clarity on all the things that I get stuck on and the patterns like have you ever asked her. Why does this keep happening while she’s going to help us answer those questions?

Obviously not specifically yours. Cause you have to go to your chart for that, but I’m so excited to dive into this today. Welcome Natasha. Thank you for being here.

[00:01:15] Natasha Von Salza: Thank you so much. I’m so excited.

[00:01:19] Raven Scott: So first before we dive into the juicy stuff about finding our patterns in our blocks and our astrology chart, I wanted to just touch a bit on the mental health aspect of healing from narcissism.

Maybe can you relate to us? Have you experienced the narcissist and share with us if you can. That’s.

[00:01:39] Natasha Von Salza: Yeah. So, um, it’s kind of interesting. It’s the chicken or the egg situation like was I empathic because of perhaps the trauma I, um, incurred when I was a child, which sort of set me up for that narcissistic, um, uh, Relationship later in life.

[00:02:00] Uh, it’s a bit of a debate. I think it’s actually written in nurse in your chart. Uh, if you kind of look enough, so it’s kind of both it’s I was trained obviously to be empathic and to people please, and to be codependent. And so when that narcissistic, um, partnership came along, I was definitely on the right.

For that it occurred right when I was pretty young by between 17 and 18. So I definitely had nothing under my belt. I didn’t understand. I didn’t really know what was happening. Um, and so. Yeah, just having, I didn’t know why, because this was probably 2007, so psychology and narcissism like that wasn’t a topic and it wasn’t like a buzzword that as it is now, so I’m like, wait, what is that a narcissistic relationship?

I kind of have to like, think about it, but it was for sure. Um, so just going back and sort of proof

[00:02:57] Raven Scott: you’re questioning yourself.

[00:02:59] Natasha Von Salza: Yeah. You’re like, wait. Yeah. So I had to kind of go back and reevaluate the relationship and stuff like that. And just, I mean, I’ve been in pathic my whole life and so really having to learn boundaries and, um, how to stick up for myself and the codependency that comes along with all of that.

So yeah, it definitely, if you’re empathic, there’s definitely gotta be a relationship of narcissism.

[00:03:24] Raven Scott: Yeah. And it’s interesting that happened to you around about the same exact time mine was. I was very sheltered, so I never dated, I, I was always actually looking back. I thought I was like a loser, but I was just extremely intimidating to date, I think.

And I wasn’t like that kind of like popular girl who was like, yeah, I’ll go along for the ride. Like I was, I was a leader, so I, but I was sucked into it like you at a young age. And I think my theory is, and again, Expert or doctor, this is my personal experience that they go for those who are the most malleable, they go for those who are like the most [00:04:00] naive, because they’re like, oh, this is easy.

I can totally pull the wool over her eyes. Like this won’t be hard work. Right.

[00:04:06] Natasha Von Salza: Yeah, exactly. And it’s also like, um, for me and my, um, line of work, I also see it as like a vibrational thing as well. Just, um, it’s kind of like. You know, you never want to say that this relationship was good for you. Obviously you don’t want to love that program, but you certainly want to see it for what it is.

And to see that like, yes, you’ve learned from this, and this is maybe what your path was supposed to be. Like, I kind of had to go on that adventure in order to really truly see the red flags. Like after that relationship, it was like red flag. Okay. Never again. And so, you know, I always told my mom, I was just so thankful that I wasn’t like 30 and pregnant.

Realized it, like, I got lucky in that situation, um, to kind of get through it as a young person and then I was kind of over it and I, I moved on and stuff, but yeah, it’s definitely like a vibrational. I kind of see it as like an attachment, um, trauma, uh, if you, if you’re into that a little bit, and it’s kind of like fitting puzzle pieces, it’s kind of work where you’re leaking.

They’re going to like. In, and then you kind of, that’s what you got to deal with.

[00:05:15] Raven Scott: Interesting. Yeah. Similarly, like I talk a lot about human design and if you have what we call like the numbers in your centers, if you have a defined, but on the other center connecting, you have it not to find it’s called a hanging.

And typically you attract the opposite to kind of complete you as the kind of term complete you, but in a healthy sense, it’s a good way. Cause we’re all pieces of the puzzle, but in the unhealthy sense, the person who’s really lacking and needs that attachment can leech on. Yeah. And complete, complete UNM in a bad toxic.

[00:05:51] Natasha Von Salza: Yeah, exactly. And I think it’s also there to show you where you are leaking so that you can build up the strength and build up the [00:06:00] boundaries and sort of show where all those wounding and that trigger is so that it doesn’t happen again. And you can kind of fortify your self in order to make sure that you’re no longer, um, basically attracting these types of people because.

You don’t want to keep going over in a loop. Cause that’s a loop. That’s not healing consciousness loop. If you’re always finding the same people over and over and over again, it’s certainly there. Um, there’s something there that needs to be healed and you’re not looking at it.

[00:06:28] Raven Scott: Yes. It’s it manifests into.

Why does this keep happening to me when you need to reverse and be like, what? Within me keeps attracting this to be able to heal and be whole versus playing the victim and going, wait, I’m just like this innocent bystander and all these narcissists are coming to me. Like it’s easy to fall into that mindset.

And I personally have, but you have to do the hard work and look inside. Right. So how can we wait, wait, I want to ask you, how can we look inside? And maybe this may relate to my second question. How did you, um, awaken or be able to leave your narcissistic relationship?

[00:07:07] Natasha Von Salza: Yeah, so great question. Um, how I left it was, it was just more of a natural.

It was about a year, year and a half, two years is quite a bit, it got quite abusive. And luckily I was able to kind of get out. I dunno, I felt a little bit naive. Um, definitely for sure. Uh, and I didn’t have the tools at all that I have now. Um, That probably would have gotten me out maybe faster or would have been able to see a little bit clearer.

Um, so I find it, it was a little bit of a luck, I guess I would say he wasn’t as attached to it. And so I was able to kind of pull out, um, pretty quickly and then he like moved around and it kind of just faded from there. So I got lucky in that situation. Um, and sorry, what was your first question? [00:08:00]

[00:08:00] Raven Scott: The first question.

I have to go back into my thought process too. I was like, shoot, I lost my first question already. Um, too bad. I can’t like rewind, rewind. What did I just say? It was something to the fact of, um, the wholeness, right? Like the, the leaking we’re talking about sink things, leaking, finding the patterns of why is this keep happening to me?

So how can we, my awakening? Yeah. Like what are, what are tools or like some practical things that we can maybe see or observe to be able to yeah. See the, recognize the patterns to work on our.

[00:08:35] Natasha Von Salza: Yeah, perfect. Okay. That’s right. And it was about the awakening. So I didn’t actually quite awaken at that time. I just, um, I think knew within myself that I didn’t want to attract those people.

And I started to see the red flags. So that was number one, like just being, um, going within and being like, Ooh, I didn’t like this. About that. I, you know, I didn’t analyze it. I didn’t know what I was doing. I was just like, I never want that again. So kind of being repelled by it and sort of understanding maybe how I got into it.

What was there, um, and sort of just like going over, maybe how I was in this really. Which helped me to see the red flags. And so then I would make sure that the next person I was dating, they didn’t show too many red flags that I could see. Of course I was still very young. So those things tend not to come out, um, super quickly.

But, um, yeah, so just the red flags, that was the biggest one there. And then as I progressed, As I got older, I just kind of always wanted to know more psychologically. I’ve always been interested in challenging challenges and things like that. And so, um, my awakening was just sort of like, Ooh, that sounds fun.

Or like spirituality, that’s cool. And I kind of delved into that and then it kind of evolved over time. And so now I do more of, um, and where I actually got stuck with a little bit in the new age spirituality and how like, oh, negative. [00:10:00] There’s no such thing as negativity. And if you’re negative, Um, you know, you’re manifesting bad things.

And so that really got to me that like took my ego down and I would get so upset when I was negative and I would get so, um, I felt like retraumatized, I was like a DoubleTree. Like I was feeling traumatized from whatever my past was. And then I was like, I can’t be negative. And then I would like retraumatize myself.

And so that’s actually what started me on this, um, trauma informed and coaching, uh, awakening. And so, um, yeah, just recognizing that we all suffer from trauma as humans. If you’re human and you have a pulse, unfortunately we’ve all dealt. It could be sort of, um, and it’s all in a spectrum, right? There’s more or less, it’s never right or wrong.

It’s just more or less, um, trauma that you’ve come across. And also your resilience. Some people are more resilient than others. So it also depends on the person. Um, And so, yeah, just analyzing the trauma and coming to terms that like, okay, I trauma and I have to deal with this and then I can get to that like spiritual awakening, um, is what I kind of came up with.

[00:11:11] Raven Scott: I love that you brought that up. Um, cause I’ve been really struggling with that as well, like this. Um, what is it called? Toxic positivity is kind of what it’s being called right now. And I’m glad it’s being that the light is being shown are shined upon it. It is really toxic. So that’s just another form of an extreme idea that is shaming, the human being from their existence.

Like you said, suffering and joy are intertwined in the human experience. So. You’re not manifesting. I also follow the Stoics now, which I love because I, I debt. I also ended up down that kind of dark, spiritual rabbit hole of conspiracy theories. And the, my husband was like hitting his head on the wall. I was like, oh my gosh, this woman.

So I was able to get pulled out of that into like normal balance. And I love stoicism. Cause [00:12:00] it kind of does that. Um, that’s ancient wisdom and they talk about how. Focusing on like the worst case scenario and then being able to, you know, meditate on it, make a plan, think about it and be like, yep, this could happen.

But what am I going to do? If it does, and being prepared, that’s not like manifesting negativity. That is being prepared because negative shit is going to happen in life. It’s just part of it. So if you’re always, you know, shaming yourself and putting your, you burying your head in the sand and continuing to keep your rose colored glasses on all the time, then it’s just not going to end well for you because you’re going to get slapped in the face with some real trauma

[00:12:42] Natasha Von Salza: that.

And it’s exactly what we were talking about before, where that’ll just keep looping, like you’re basically repressing all the stuff that needs to come up to be healed. Like the reason you’re with a narcissist is because there’s a woman that is there. It needs to be co it needs to come to the surface. It needs to be shown the light.

It needs to be shown love. And if you’re saying, oh, I can’t be negative and I just need to press it down. You’re you’re just repressing it. And then it’s going to come out in something. Somewhere else it’s like that, um, that toy that you kind of squeeze and it squeezes out the bottom and then used to be when it comes out the other, like it’s gonna come out somewhere.

And so you might as well become aware of it and get on top of it and actually go through your healing with a little bit of joy. It’s a little suffering, but you can have joy in, in the suffering, um, when you’re really aware of what’s happening.

[00:13:32] Raven Scott: Yeah. We get, yeah. You come to it with a curious mind versus a, oh my gosh.

I’m going to. Die because I’m, you know, bringing up these deep, dark skeletons in the closet or I’ll be shamed and never talked to by my family forever. And he’s like, when you release all those fears, You do actually kind of enjoy the process with some curiosity. You’re like, Ooh, I wonder what, what else is in my closet?

Like once you kind of get used to it, you’re like, this feels really good.

[00:13:59] Natasha Von Salza: And, and the [00:14:00] acceptance that comes along with that, I know that I had to, I just, oddly enough, I didn’t accept that I was in pathic for probably I’m 33 now. And I probably just within the last year was like, okay, I’m empathic, like stuff that the whole rest of the.

The thing was, was also, I hated the parts of myself that were in part were empathic. And so I was trying to push those away so hard and I was like, I don’t want to be like this. I don’t want to be like this. And so that created a lot of suffering as well, instead of just accepting, like, okay, like I’m Catholic for whatever reason.

However, it happened. That’s what I am and to embrace it and to accept it really kind of let you sink into it. And now I find join it. Now it’s like, Ooh, that’s my gift. Like, I’m really good at this.

[00:14:46] Raven Scott: Yeah, no. And, and it can be really scary and painful because you feel things intensely and you, you get offended really easily or whatever the case is, but I know there’s a way to balance it.

There are tools that help you balance it. So,

[00:15:03] Natasha Von Salza: and that’s really like astrology and human design. I think that’s where that balance comes in because, um, I love it, like to look at it as an, in, uh, a multi-dimensional lens as well. Like we’re multidimensional. We have a soul that, you know, it’s not human, it’s not from this place, but we’re in a human form and we’re here to experience the human.

And so you have to love that human. So, so much, even when she makes mistakes and she’s like really hard on herself, you just have to love her because although you’re not technically human and your soul is bigger than this, like you’re here for it. And that’s the whole point. And so, um, it’s all about balance.

It’s like, okay, what, when do I love the human? And when do I say, okay, I love you, but we’re doing this. Like, it’s going to be hard. You’re going to suffer. You’re probably not going to like the growth that we’re going through the challenges, but we’re doing this and like coaching that part of [00:16:00] your human through it.

And then other times you’re like, okay, like, you’re safe. Like I love you. You’re here. Like I’m okay. And then also just being like, I am magic, like. I, you know, I could do whatever I wanted and I’m empowered.

[00:16:12] Raven Scott: So, yeah. And we’re all of those components all in one where the shadow, where the child, where the bright lights sparkling all in one.

[00:16:22] Natasha Von Salza: Yeah, exactly. All in balance. It’s very, and that’s sort of where that spiritual discernment comes in. And, um, when you’re learning about trauma and attachment and all that stuff, it comes more naturally when you’re learning. Okay. Is this a situation for this or is this a situation for another tool or, um,

[00:16:41] Raven Scott: Yeah.

Yeah. And if you haven’t cleared it, you know, the universe and or life and energy magnet, magnetism will present to you. Another scenario that they’ll keep kind of monkey on the head, like, hello, you still need to deal with this.

[00:16:57] Natasha Von Salza: And, um, in my line of work, I do astrology. So as well as coaching, and this is sort of, um, comes back to your birth chart.

There’s. Certain lessons that your soul is here to learn and it could be over lifetime. So if you learn a specific, um, the specific lesson that your soul really wants to learn, and you finally say like, okay, like I’ve learned this lesson that, that attraction no longer comes into your perception, but it might, it might have, this might be your 600.

Uh, lifetime, if you believe in that, you don’t have to it’s up to you, but this might be your 600 time and you finally finally learn it. And then you break it’s called breaking karma. And so that’s when you’re able to, um, grow into something else and to attract the people that you actually really are wanting.

[00:17:49] Raven Scott: Yeah. I love that. Yeah. I do believe that I’ve talked about before the podcast, if you have listened or not listeners, um, Take a listen back to M Yaras episode. We [00:18:00] talked about the, um, journey of the soul and you know, the book and I, I D I definitely believe in reincarnation there’s there. There’s energy is always continually recycling and transmuting.

So in the spirit world, and us are all intertwined, even though we may not see them, you know, physically as dense here. Um, I always feel those guys around me.

[00:18:25] Natasha Von Salza: Yeah. And I think also with what we’re talking about too, it really helps to kind of get out of the details of it, especially when you’re in that narcissistic or, um, relationship, or you’re just like really deep in it.

You kind of want to like, take a look back and be like, okay, Like, it’s not that big of a deal, you know, you can kind of, um, it just gives you a step a second to step back and be like, okay, like my soul, this is what my soul wants. And like, I don’t have to get so critical and all the details and really just letting go of that.

And I think, um, you know, it’s basically an earth first game. We’re here to play a game and of course it’s important, but you know, you can kind of have some fun and play with it. Yeah. Yeah,

[00:19:11] Raven Scott: it gives you a perspective if you want to embrace a little bit of that, because yeah, I mean the, the one instance or that one relationship that just keeps making you feel guilty or shame or intense anger, you know, it’s, it’s bigger than that.

You know, there’s a lesson there. So if you can stop being pulled into the anger cycle, I think the anger is important. To stop touching the hot stove. Right? You need to have the anger to kick, to give you that separation. But then now once you’re really like solidly separated, is it really helpful to hold on to the anger?

I mean, sometimes of course you can have a moment where you hear a song. Like even now, like I hear a song, have you heard that one song? A, B, C, D E F U I’m. Like, I love to belt that because I’m like, feels [00:20:00] good. Like why not embrace? Cause that’s the beautiful part. The process is the anger, but not forgiving.

And the anger I think is what is tricky. Right? You keep still hitting the patterns cause that’s not what your soul wants to evolve into that.

[00:20:13] Natasha Von Salza: Right. And this anger is really tricky. There’s righteous, anger. You know, that’s the anger that when you know something’s wrong and you’re saying no, like that anger needs to be there.

Like, you know, there’d be a lot less tragedy in the world. If women were taught how to have righteous anger correctly. And so, and I think also this might help with those who might be in the freeze, um, free survival mode. You actually need that anger to move the energy. You’re, you’re basically suppressing that anger and you kind of have to bring that anger to the front and obviously not towards anyone and never at yourself ever.

It should always be directed out. Um, Uh, to bring that up to you in order to move out of that. Cause when I was, um, narcissism and the trauma that I’ve experienced and I definitely went into the freeze state and so I’ve really had to move a lot of anger. Um, not at anyone, just, just the fear of just the sheer anger I just had to just

[00:21:13] Raven Scott: it’s like I imagined fire, right?

Anger. There’s fire the element. And when you’re in that free state, your name. So you have to ignite the fire to get something, to change, to transmute, to move.

[00:21:25] Natasha Von Salza: Yeah. And I had to really accept that it’s okay to be angry, um, because I was taught, you know, you’re not allowed to be angry, uh, suppress your anger.

[00:21:34] Raven Scott: Yeah. It’s not, it’s not nice to be angry. And of course you don’t want to yell at other people, but we also need to be able to experience our anger in a health.

[00:21:42] Natasha Von Salza: Exactly. And that helps with the boundaries that you’re going to have to learn. It helps with all of the, um, attachment trauma. If you’re going through that, like that all helps to say no to people that you might otherwise have been to your will to, and now you’re saying no, thank you.

Um, I [00:22:00] don’t consent and you kind of have to have that little bit of anger and that little bit of fire in you to really know that this is for you. Like, it doesn’t matter what you have to say. This is for me. And I don’t know. Yeah.

[00:22:11] Raven Scott: Yeah. Yeah, because they use the guilt and the shame as the manipulation tool to get you to apologize.

Yes. But you should have that righteous anger and not apologize for what they did was wrong and then never taking the responsibility.

[00:22:25] Natasha Von Salza: Exactly. And it gives you that, that fire to really stand in your power and to stand in your, in you, no matter what they do, it’s more about you and that fire, that anger gives you that access that willingness to do that.

And to know that you’re not, if, if you need to leave or you need to walk away that you’re able to do that as.

[00:22:47] Raven Scott: yes. And love it. Um, we have a note about the inner child. Let’s talk about that before we dive into my other question, um, about the astrology perspective. So, um, we’re talking about, you know, dealing with narcissists, having this beautiful, righteous anger.

And then I remember you saying just a little bit ago. Like having holding yourself and loving yourself. Um, would you describe that as part of the inner child healing journey? How do you

[00:23:17] Natasha Von Salza: describe it? Yeah, so I think a really big key, a really big secret for your listeners. If they ever want to have one, your nervous system is your inner child.

And so. You are speaking to your nervous system to regulate because what’s happening in a narcissistic relationship is you’re dysregulated. You’re either freeze freezing. You’re in fight. You’re in flight. You’re out of the. The regulation. And so, um, you’re when you’re healing, you’re bringing your nervous system into regulation, and that means you have to love yourself, which means you have to love your nervous system, which is your inner child, because you got [00:24:00] dysregulated because, you know, Consciously, but you allowed someone else to essentially live for you or to take over your programming?

Um, this was a conscious of course, as children, but it is what it is and that’s what happened. And so we have to come back into that regulation and the nervous system, and that is through the nervous, uh, through the inner child.

[00:24:25] Raven Scott: Yeah. And I think a lot of us are generation generation older than us. Maybe even the gen C’s right below us, it’s still like struggling with, as you were raised, there were all these parenting books that said, like all these really strict things, like this is how you’re supposed to raise your child, you know?

And they were very authoritarian, uh, very patriarchal by these male doctors. And they weren’t conscious at all of thinking about teaching children, autonomy, being able to regulate their emotions and all that. Pretty much, all of us have had some type of emotional dysregulation in our nervous system growing up because it wasn’t handled properly.

Or we weren’t given space to hold ourselves, understand what we were going to.

[00:25:16] Natasha Von Salza: Exactly. I mean, I don’t know. It’s very controversial, but the cry it out method. I w oh, it’s awful.

[00:25:23] Raven Scott: No, I, I can’t like that gave me goosebumps just thinking about it. Like, I couldn’t do it.

[00:25:27] Natasha Von Salza: And I was like, oh my God.

Yeah, it’s very controversial. But I, you know, for me, it’s child abuse. Like you can’t just leave a child to cry it out. That’s there. Literally that’s what they’re doing is regulating their system. They’re learning how to, um, have safety in the body and to know that someone is always there for them, because all of that comes back to you when you’re an adult no longer at home.

But now if you don’t know safety, then you’re going to go to PE like that’s a lot with [00:26:00] narcissism. Is there saying. They feel safe because maybe your house was chaotic or maybe you lived with the narcissist. And so now this person who isn’t functioning or healthy feel safe because that’s all, you know, and that was definitely for me, like I had a very chaotic neglectful, emotional and emotionally neglectful childhood.

And so a narcissist who is like, love bombing you. I was like, oh my God. I was like, this is the greatest thing ever. And then, and the chaos that ensued after was still like, well, this is normal.

[00:26:33] Raven Scott: Totally. It’s so crazy how it’s so similar and it feels so normal in your body. It probably has a lot to do with that. Cry it out method when you’re young are so much more like, oh, you’re throwing a temper tantrum, go away from me, you

[00:26:49] Natasha Von Salza: know? Yeah. And unfortunately, and it’s, it’s hard too, because you know, you want to like be mad at your parents, but really it’s, you know, you kinda.

They were just doing the best they could with what they had. And they were in trauma. Like they had generational trauma and I

[00:27:06] Raven Scott: definitely did not know how to deal with their trauma. So how could they, you know, how could they heal and be present for a child when they were still kind of emotionally and a child had stayed as well?

[00:27:18] Natasha Von Salza: Exactly. Yeah. So it’s, it’s a lot to heal and to, to look at, but when you really look at it, it feels like you said, like that, that healing just feels so much better. And you’re just so much more in love with yourself, I guess, is what I would say.

[00:27:33] Raven Scott: Yeah. My favorite is when I discovered the inner child meditation, and then I was like, I’m so like doing this every day, this feels amazing.

And I have, um, I need to record it. I have a recording. But I need to put it on my YouTube channel because you know, the whole copyright thing, I’m like, dang it. I have to rerecord it because I have to put new music to it. But it’s so important to do, like, especially in your deepest, darkest you’re, you’re, you’re dealing with PTSD, you’re dealing with all this, [00:28:00] like irregulation your body.

And the stress from leaving the nurses is to relationship doing it every day is just so.

[00:28:10] Natasha Von Salza: It’s so healing and it’s so important. I mean, I think that’s the number one thing. If there’s anything you take away from anything it’s that, um, it’s this, it’s the inner child and it’s the nervous system regulation.

I really wished I had known that a long time ago. Um, I think it’s just coming up to 2022 and I was starting healing a long time ago, but that’s the key for me is that, um, The regulation. And also if you can go through somatic healing, which is all about healing in the body, you don’t have, it. Doesn’t have to be processed or the mind, so you don’t have to re go through and retraumatize yourself.

You can just simply let it go. Um, and that’s all about nervous system regulation. And if you equate your nervous system regulation with your inner child, it will be set.

[00:28:55] Raven Scott: Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. I love that. Tip you guys. That was such a great expert tip. So where in our astrological chart, can we find like what, what our souls lessons are?

[00:29:09] Natasha Von Salza: Yeah. So it’s different for everyone. And even if too, I have a twin brother, so even our charts are exactly the same per se, but we don’t have obviously the same lessons or the same, um, life essentially.

[00:29:23] Raven Scott: So we so fascinating. I know I chose identical yet. It’s still manifest,

[00:29:29] Natasha Von Salza: manifest differently where he’s a male and a female, so that can be different.

Um, I’m still learning. I really want to, I’m always asking astrologers about twins, so let me know. Um, and so, yeah, so the chart is always different and, um, there’s a couple of what, like theories that I have, um, a couple of placements that I think sort of show. Where we’re kind of be set up for that empathic and that sort of traumatizing area in our [00:30:00] lives.

Um, like I said, again, it’s sort of the chicken and the egg, like, is it that you were your, your soul asked for this? And so therefore you chose the parents that would give you that, or, you know, right. Um, I think. From the fact that you chosen, you want it to be empathic in this lifetime. You wanted that gift.

And so you did choose the parents, um, and sort of the trauma that went along with that. Of course that’s not okay. And you don’t want to like, love that program, but you certainly want to acknowledge it. Um, I see Virgo, Virgo and six house. Um, Yeah, Virgo that, and then the sixth house and, um, Gemini and Gemini and Libras, I think they tend to have that, like people pleasing.

They tend to have that. Um, uh,

[00:30:49] Raven Scott: both of my parents, sorry. I said both my parents, my dad’s Gemini, my mom’s a Libra. Oh, wow.

[00:30:56] Natasha Von Salza: I’m a Virgo and I’m a Libra moon. And. You have a LIBOR mode. Yeah. And then that, that hit in with, you said your mom was a Libra. Yeah. Yeah. So that was that, um, the, the, the moon is all about, uh, women’s or sorry, the mother, the mother wounds basically generational trauma.

Um, and so I, I can see it in the chart for most people. Um, and then I think it’s also just what you, the purpose, like for me, I’m a facilitator, so. I can feel your emotion, which is the guests. Cause I can say, okay, look, I’m feeling this or I can sort of confront the truth. If someone doesn’t want to tell me the truth, I can be like, well, what you’re saying and how you feel is not congruent.

And so let’s talk about it. Um, and so that’s kind of how I use the chart. Um, and so you said you were a Virgo. Did you say you were a son?

[00:31:53] Raven Scott: My son. Yeah. Virgo, sun Virgo, ascendant, moon Libra, north node, Gemini. [00:32:00] Um, what else? My, is it strange? My sister’s son is Scorpio and my third house is Scorpio and I think

[00:32:12] Natasha Von Salza: third houses siblings.

So that makes

[00:32:14] Raven Scott: sense. Yeah, it’s not weird. Um, but there’s a planet in there and I’m trying to remember which planet it was. I’d have to pull my chart again.

I just remember going, Ooh, this is an interesting planet to be in Scorpio related to my sister. Cause I have issues with my sister.

[00:32:34] Natasha Von Salza: Yeah. Uh, Scorpio is a pretty confronting, um, sign. It definitely is all about intimacy and the ego death. And so that sort of, um, fight or the, uh, not the fire, but Thor. In the fighting sometimes is where you kind of learn to all of the trauma and all that stuff comes up for you to heal.

So that might be something also, you guys might’ve done something to each other and past lifetimes.

[00:33:03] Raven Scott: So only murdered each other in past lifestyles.

I don’t know. We’re not really successful this, this life around, but we got time.

[00:33:16] Natasha Von Salza: Yeah. So it’s so funny that even just, when you say yours, it makes total sense for what you’re doing. You have the communication, um, in your north node. The podcast and helping and pass, which is that Virgo energy. It’s a lot of, um, it’s a lot of communication and it’s a lot of mapping out.

So Virgos are super good at looking at, let’s say you have from a to Z and they can pull it all out in from chaos and bring it into form. And so. When you’re talking about narcissism and trauma, that’s all, not you’re mapping all of that out in order for you to step over that and to come and to actually find joy and to leave all of that stuff behind eventually.[00:34:00]

Yeah. So it makes a lot of sense. Um, Yeah. And I have, um, I have an Aries moon, or, I mean, sorry, an area’s sun. And so it’s right across from my moon. And so that is all about, um, mirrors using other people’s as mirrors and, um, sort of wanting people to tell me who I am, which of course gives that. Um, and that all of that energy, a lot of energy.

Cause then I was like, please tell me who I am. Oh, you think that’s what I am. Okay. That’s great. And then I never learned to stand up for myself

[00:34:36] Raven Scott: and the attention then. Yeah,

[00:34:39] Natasha Von Salza: yeah, yeah, exactly. And then the Libra was all about codependency and relationships and learning to, um, to not sit in the dark with people and to not get on the emotional rollercoaster.

[00:34:50] Raven Scott: Big lesson. Libra is all about learning balance. Really hard. It’s the love and hate, like I have such a love, hate relationship with relationships.

[00:35:03] Natasha Von Salza: It’s true. And I, and the reason that I loved I wanted to do podcasts was because it is this relationship of this balance. Like we get to kind of have go back and forth and then we get to talk about it with each other.

And so that’s like that relationship that I really a really healthy relationship and the container, and I really love. Relationships, but they’re definitely, definitely hard

[00:35:26] Raven Scott: and they are hard, but I think they’re here for it to be hard

[00:35:31] Natasha Von Salza: to learn. Yeah. Ultimately, you’re, you know, you’re here to integrate the soul into the physical form.

And in order to do that, you have to wipe away or to release all that. Uh, in the way, so limiting beliefs, um, programs that are yours that were programmed by the culture, um, and that takes a lot of time and energy and effort, but it’s definitely worth it.

[00:35:54] Raven Scott: Yeah. And then another thought came up about the south node.

Um, [00:36:00] south node is the opposite of your north node. I always feel like your north node is kind of like your destiny and yourself knows what you need to release. And I’m always. Uh, I don’t know if it’s after release codependency on my family, but myself node is in Sagittarius. So that’s like adventure, independence and the, um, um, it’s some of the fourth house.

So I’m like, dang it, family. So that, that, I guess that means I need to just say Sianora to them and then if they want to come along, then they come along. I’m not sure I’m always grappling with.

[00:36:30] Natasha Von Salza: Yeah. Um, so if you have the fourth node or the fourth house with your south node inside edge, I would say it’s definitely about ancestral healing for sure.

And it’s definitely, um, it’s also sort of like, it’s the truth seeker, which makes a lot of sense cause you’re looking for the truth and

no

[00:36:50] Raven Scott: one wants the truth in my family.

[00:36:52] Natasha Von Salza: Exactly. And so that’s sort of, and that is probably the lesson for you is that you have to understand that you can’t take them with you.

Yeah, it’s a huge lesson on healing on the spiritual healing. I girl, I, with you, I tried to take every single person I know with me and they are like, no, Natasha, you, I know. And I’m like, okay, okay. Well come with me. And that’s the lesson. I mean, that’s hard. You have to kind of leave your family behind knowing that you’re doing good for them.

That’s what you’re healing. It you’re healing the generational curses. And you’re willing to look at the stuff that they’re not willing to face. And that’s what is ultimately going to heal that the generations,

[00:37:36] Raven Scott: yeah, that is literally like my gut passion always is like, moving forward. This cannot be the same pattern.

And I remember having my therapist tell me that and she, I swear it was like divine message because she, didn’t not, I know of like, no, any astrology or anything. You are the ancestral pattern breaker in your family? Cause she, she did counseling with my [00:38:00] aunt and my mom together and me. So like she kinda knew a little bit more than she should have about the story, but she was like, yeah, you are the one to break the ancestral pattern.

Exactly.

[00:38:10] Natasha Von Salza: Oh, dang it. I’m coming. Something come clear to me is you might be a little bit of a know at all, and you might want to tell them sort of how to do stuff and how to write and that’s, and that’s the lesson. That’s the, how, it’s the lesson of like, how do I. ’cause it’s, it’s the lesson that I’ve had to learn to.

Um, how do I accept who they are while also protecting me and my boundaries and my will? And it’s hard. It’s definitely something that took me months. I couldn’t, I stopped speaking to my mom for a month and a half because I literally didn’t know. I was like, you’re not healthy, but I don’t know how to talk to you.

So we’re just having to talk. Um, but as I’m slowly learning and I’m sure you are too. Um, you’ll learn to speak to them in a way that either they’re going to hear it, or you’re going to realize like, oh, it’s not worth, worth the trouble.

[00:39:11] Raven Scott: Yeah. I I’ve reached that point. Definitely with my. Like I said, my sister and I, we have a little bit more fire going on there.

Yeah. Yeah. I that’s, you’re spot on with the description of the lessons that I have been learning and revealing and coming to peace with like even just around holidays. I guess that’s really important to me. I have a, stellium also in the fourth house, so like holidays and family things. I’m mourning the past, the euphoric times when I was a kid, when we had holidays, but for me moving forward right into this non, you know, structured Christian religious realm of holidays, I get to make my own, you know, uh, traditions.

I get to do it for my family. You know, that. Is here with me right now and kind of letting go of the [00:40:00] family traditions and things of the past.

[00:40:02] Natasha Von Salza: Yeah. And it’s a group chat, you know, if you’ve heard of the great awakening, are they queer in age? That’s all that is. It’s, we’re breaking the tradition and we’re breaking down.

What no longer serves us and no longer works for humanity. And you know, those types of holidays, they tend. Sometimes they fall in certain, in wrong areas. Um, and they kind of hinder the human experience. Uh, I can say a little bit about Christmas. I’ll put this little tidbit in, you might agree or not, but, um, there’s a.

You can read tropical, which is based off of, um, it’s just a Gregorian calendar. So like we know, okay. Spring is March 21st, blah, blah, blah. But there’s also one that is called sidereal. And that’s a little bit Eastern where it’s read through the. Through the, um, the sun. So the sun is in the actual constellation.

And so during Christmas time, we’re actually in the constellation of Sagittarius and Sagittarius is a truth seeker. It’s, it’s the spiritual, it’s the religion it’s understanding. True. Um, you know, uh, godly. Information, but what are we doing as a consumer, which is basically, um, we’re not looking at truth, we’re looking at sort of feasting and all of that.

Um, not unhealthy, but sort of we’re looking the wrong way in other words. And so that tradition might have to sort of change. Potentially.

[00:41:35] Raven Scott: I love that. Yeah. Like we’re just, um, we’re, we’re numbing with the consumerism, the presence we’re kind of stressed out like, oh my gosh, we have to like, get everything perfect.

We have to pretend that Santa Claus is real. We have to pretend that the ELFS now on the shelf are real and, or even like, just. Baby Jesus was born. Will you know, if you went back historically, I don’t think he was born around December. You know, it’s like all that stuff is like, so [00:42:00] not like true. Like what are we doing?

We’re just like having this fake festivity, like at the wrong

[00:42:04] Natasha Von Salza: time. Exactly. Yeah. So it’s really interesting. I mean that’s, and that’s sort of what your soul is being pulled into is you’re this, we, you and I are the seeds or the golden age for the Aquarian age for the great awakening. And so. Our lessons is to sort of learn how to interact with the old traditions, but also, um, stay in our power and in our will, um, while we interact

[00:42:30] Raven Scott: and make our new traditions.

Have you, have you ever done,

The 12, holy night’s meditation, where you look at the Jofrah images of each astrology Zodiac, and you meditate on them and journal on them. And. Just see how you resonate in interpret. The artistic images.

[00:42:52] Raven Scott: 12 days of Zodiac. So every day

you, meditate and you

look at these specific artist’s depiction of the Zodiac of each Zodiac.

I loved that tradition. Like I need to do this every year, but I got caught up and I didn’t do it last.

[00:43:10] Natasha Von Salza: Yeah. I mean, it’s really good to just go out into this under the stars and just allow the constellation. There’s a couple of apps that you can actually go and look live and it points to you like, oh, this is Venus, or this is this, um, in life terms and you can do it in deck side as well, which is really interesting.

And I think also we’re here. As a golden age astrologer, I look at astrology a little different. I think that we’re here to sort of dismantle and to delete parts of, um, the Zodiac that are no longer working for people. I think also there’s people that are like, oh, well, I like this because of the sodium MACRA because of this.

And it’s like, well, no, you’re supposed to, you’re here to delete that. And to heal that. To step over that. And so I think people tend to forget that and then they kind of accept the bad [00:44:00] behavior and they, and that’s not what we’re here to do. We’re really here to heal from, from what we’re working on.

[00:44:07] Raven Scott: And love that.

Yeah. Keep doing the work. Can we need to all join together in that work? Cause there was, you know, all the Cosmo magazines have all of those, like kind of short blips, like making people think that, oh, I’m a Scorpio, I’m a bad person. Like why? Oh, I’m a Virgo. I’m mean like all of these very negative things.

Uh, there’s even some YouTube videos that my daughter was going through and I would hear it and I’d be like right next to her. I’m like, okay. Yes. However, there’s so much more complex than that. Like you are not your son signed. Virgos. Don’t always have to be mean. Yeah,

[00:44:39] Natasha Von Salza: because spirituality is very, yes.

And it’s like, yes, that’s the lower expression of that sign. And you most likely are going through the, I definitely have a lower expression of areas. Like some fire could just like come through and I’m just like, well, but the, the higher expression, that’s what I’m pulling through. That’s what I’m working towards.

This, what I’m walking towards is to embody that higher expression of air. As my moon as my will. And so that is leadership. It’s wa it’s being first, it’s the creation, the spark of creation. And so each sign has its higher expression and that’s where we’re supposed to be going. And that’s what we’re supposed to be healing in order to embody.

And so was very much the purification of, um, you know, not in a religious sense purification of yourself, like the pier, the purist, you, you can be essentially.

[00:45:33] Raven Scott: which is really beautiful. Yeah. I, one, a hundred percent relate to that. And as everyone who listens, they always hear me say, keep your unique light shining at the end.

And I always envisioned that like the purest light within you shine that out as best as he. Yeah.

[00:45:48] Natasha Von Salza: Yeah. And that’s, um, it’s also part of divine will divine will, is service to others through his will. If you call it a him, you can call it whatever you want, but you’re essentially a [00:46:00] vessel for his light, his message to shine through and to come out, you know, as, um, especially as a leader, as you are.

Sort of what we’re here is to, is to envision his will and then carry that out. And that takes a lot of practice and healing that we have to do to get

[00:46:18] Raven Scott: that. It does a lot of mastery. I know I’m talking to a lot of people about, around about our age. They’re like, okay, well where’s the money going to come in?

And I’m like, don’t worry. Like it’s not our time for money. We’re going to Matt. We’re mastering our craft. And about like, you know, let’s say 10 years, hopefully sooner, we’re going to see the big impact. Of our mastery come in through that abundance. Absolutely.

[00:46:43] Natasha Von Salza: And I think it’s also changing with the amount of the divine masculine and the divine feminine and all of that is coming more to fruition for us too.

The codes are coming in so we can see that. How do we, how do we love ourselves and not get into this rat race and still have provision and still have resources and still, um, you know, we’re on this path, but we’re not like starving musician. Yeah, and I think that’s coming clearer and clearer. Yeah,

[00:47:15] Raven Scott: gosh, I love this conversation.

I know all of you who are listening, love it as well. And you’re like eating it up. So I’m going to leave you with just find Natasha on all the socials and links in the show notes. Grab the picture of the podcast and you swipe up, it’s there. Make sure that you take a screenshot of this podcast and you just put in your comments like, oh my gosh, I’m a Leo or I’m a Libra or I’m an Aries or whatever, just let us know and put it in your stories and tag us.

I’m at Raymond Scott show and Natasha socials. And thank you so much for listening. Thank you for being here in Atlanta. Thank you

[00:47:52] Natasha Von Salza: so much. It was such a joy. I loved this conversation. It’s exactly what I’m here to do. So thank you

[00:47:57] Raven Scott: to me too. We’re both lit up over here having this [00:48:00] conversation. You guys love it so much.

Oh. And remember, always keep your unique light shining

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Raven Scott

Raven Scott is providing women, who are feeling lost and alone in their journey, a community to kick ass as we become empowered together while healing from childhood trauma, abusive relationships, or plain old life, and awaken to rewrite our karmic story. Through astrology, self care, human design, & intuition.
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Published by Raven Scott

As an international author, narcissist abuse recovering coach, Podcast host of Empath & Narcissist and creator of healing workshops. She is dispelling the narcissists' power one soul at a time.

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