How to Manifest your Dream Relationship After Narcissistic Abuse | Ep 93

“Humanity is at a crossroads. We can destroy ourself in a millisecond…or we can elevate it through radical love.” —Rohini & Karl Emanuelsson Ep 93 Empath and Narcissist podcast

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Humanity 3.0

“We see this as a wildly exciting time though. I think this is a time that collective consciousness is raising and all of these change in rules and paradigms.

It’s a catalyst for radical change. So if we see this as the most compelling time in the future, the most exciting time in the future, because we’ve got the keys to abundance. All it needs is a rise of collective consciousness to unlock it. And we think the way that we access that is through our relationships and through radical self love.”

Relationships are a portal to a vast presence within you.

If you see your relationship as a catalyst for growth and a catalyst for change and have the tools and technologies to work through those, then that’s how you and the collective consciousness can rise through radical self love. And that’s how we can awaken to our greatest potential.

 80% of relationships are failing right now. And of the 20% that are staying together, it’s not Mary Poppen’s relationships.

With today’s modern disposable mindset, tossing out jeans when they are ripped. Relationships have become disposable also and the education and tools to work through what a relationship is, is not accessible to all.

And this is a symptom of where we are as a society. There’s deep trauma, there’s deep unrest. The rules are changing of what’s a masculine role? What’s a feminine role? What does it mean in a society that now has the keys of abundance?

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 Because of this mass confusion, ego and self preservation kicking in. And since the toxic masculine for centuries has not worked as a team with the divine feminine, they go on this downward spiral very quickly through narcissist behaviors through projection, and therefore anger and disengagement.

And quite honestly, one of the key reasons that they think 80% of relationships fail is simply lack of education. Where did you see how to be lover? From your parents. And how many had de-masculined fathers, or overly agressive abuse fathers. It takes a self discovery journey and education. 

Out of a deep need, at the brink of their own divorce, Karl and Rohini went on a journey and did the work on themselves, they grew grow and then shared the tools that brought them back and closer than ever. And the Y42 Retreats were born out of love of sharing. 

Toxic Masculinity’s role in Narcissism

Women have really suffered since the beginning of time. They have been controlled. They have been prey. They have been objectified, raped. You name it. And sadly, not just from the beginning of time, but in most parts of the world, even today it’s happening.

It’s tragic and we need to hold that trauma and pain and not judge it.

Women are holding onto this trauma and maybe not even their own trauma, they’re holding onto this generational trauma.

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The first step I think of healing and shifting the anger and control is, as a collective, we just acknowledge that this is what it is. Don’t gas light it, don’t deny it, don’t erase it from history. 

And then we need to be grateful to the healthy divine masculine energies because it is through the command, control, hierarchical, and competitive paradigm that has created this modern world.

Love and gratitude shifts the energy.

Humanity 3.0

In Y 42 radical wellbeing retreats, Rohini and Karl have very powerful technologies to enable women to release this anger and release the trauma. If it’s all absorbed, where does it go?

Expression is the opposite of depression. — Rohini

Once that’s released. Then you look at the healing. This could be generational wounds. Or it could be your own wounds from the narcissist. What did your mother suffer? What did your grandmother suffer? Because that is encoded in your DNA. Science proves that now.

Do the work to heal yourself, to experience your true nature, to fall in love with who you really are. Which is a Divine Goddess, which is a beautiful feminine spirit. 

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And this is where the beauty of the feminine needs to flower. In this masculine world, sadly, a lot of women have stepped into the masculine energy in order to compete against the masculine energy in order to be successful in the masculine world. And that imbalance is also harming our relationships.

Healing and Balancing Energies

By the way, the feminine energy is not gender based. And it has to be in the middle and balanced. This energy imbalance is applied to men and women.

The Divine Feminine energy, is about her healing. This is about you experiencing your true nature, which is love. This true love is expansive creativity, which means one plus one equals eleven in our world.

The Divine Feminine are the custodians of evolution. Always looking at how the next generation can be better.

“The root cause of why we have 80% of relationships failing and which is why we have the symptom of narcissist kind behaviors is because there has been a set role masculine role in the family female role in the family. It worked and it’s worked for millions of years. Suddenly, equality happened, #metoo, all of these movements out of anger happened.”

Out of anger, the power of the masculine is being eroded. And it’s a very confused space for the men. They had power, they’ve channeled it and they used to use it. Now it’s vilified as the toxic masculine energy.

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That’s why, some of the saddest relationships I see is the ones where you have a “puppy dog” guy, where the woman is just hounding him. And he appears to have no balls.

“There is no space for him to be in that Kingly nature of what that masculine power can be for us, because frankly, as Queens, we need the King. Quite frequently, you look at what their role models are. And frequently I see they come from a masculine, like a father or some patriarchal person who had this toxic masculine energy and they deplored it. But they don’t know where to go. So he was, impotent.

So the journey for the masculine energy here is to tap into that power, be proud of that power, but it’s being fueled by something different. It’s not being fueled by competition, scarcity, command or control is being powered by love.”

The Evolved Masculine

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Karl says, “One of the highest divorce rate in the world is actually in Sweden, because the polarity between the masculine and the feminine has become so blurred.

The charge between the two energies have disappeared. 

For instance whenever we had fights I always felt, accused. It was quite often we fell into this trap of “who is being right?”, in the conversation. 

The most powerful things as the evolved masculine is to be a hundred percent present. And just being there, in the strength, and in the support to make your woman feel safe, seen and understood. And I think that’s what’s missing in so many relationships.”

Blamestorming

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He did this and she said that! 

That is not gonna get you anywhere.

This journey is about radical responsibility and radical accountability. What have you brought to the relationship? Because ultimately your relationships are a mirror of your relationship with yourself and the law of attraction.

The energy that you feel within yourself is what you attract. 

Because ultimately, you can only be treated poorly if you allow yourself to be treated badly,

Really. Stop believing that you’re worth being treated badly, speak up, rise up and return to the foundation pillar, which is self love.

Speak up

Part of rising up, especially for women, is learning to express their voice.

Learning the tools of how to communicate in a way that’s always loving and always respectful is how to circuit break the anger. 

How do you control your hormonal balance?

“Which is why we need that rock of the masculine energy that is not triggerable. That provides a safety net , that won’t get into defensive patterns, but will just be there and make you feel safe to rage. And when you let it out, it can then very quickly subside.”

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How to get unstuck from attracting toxic relationships. 

You ask yourself, why am I attracting narcissists?

If like energy attracts like energy, then it’s safe to say there is some ingredient to the mess you are bringing. 

You may have some ways you act out of your shadow self due to your soul fighting against the injustice. Or you may have low self worth, which the narcissist does too. 

People can only disrespect you if you allow them to.

  1. Rewrite your narrative and mind through radical self love

First of all, it can just saying to yourself that I do not deserve this. I deserve better.

When you look in the mirror, say to yourself

“I love you” in the mirror 10 x times a day.

2. Learn how to express your voice. The only role model she’s had is the toxic masculine energy. And you don’t want togo there. You don’t want to go into command, control, hierarchy. You need to respect and admire the essence of what makes men and female different. Speak straight forward without pressure or judgement. 

What we want is a new world, a new humanity, where the masculine energy and the feminine energy really love each other, respect each other, admire each other. Co-create together because that’s what it’s gonna take to create a new model of reality.

Keep working on your self love and worth. “Women struggle with expressing their needs because why, why? Because they haven’t felt worthy of having their needs met.”

Always communicate from your heart. Communicating always with love.

3. Boundaries

Sometimes, women will have boundaries around everything. 

Rohini recommends the 80/20 rule, as with everything in life, pick your battles. Respect for yourself and set real boundaries with consequences.

“Pre agree the boundary. And the important bit consequences. This is the bit most people leave out because if you don’t have pre-agreed consequences and you do not follow through, you have no potency, you have no power.”

Feminine power is not becoming a masculine, which means you do not scream or shout. You’re not trying to power them down. You’re not trying to score points. You’re not trying to compete for feminine power to win.

 Because we’re talking to men; one plus one equals two world; communicate that boundary with clarity and reason.

Follow through gives your words have potency.

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How men can rise up against Narcissism

Karl said, “It’s getting yourself to a level where, you self love. It’s self love as well for the men. I mean, it’s so important for the, man to feel self love. Quite often, the way that if you are behaving in a narcissistic way is because you don’t have that for yourself.”

The power for the masculine comes from being radically loved up.

In conclusion, 

Can you imagine a world that’s driven by leaders who are radically loved up by politicians that are radically loved up by businesses who are radically loved up.??

And what kind of parents are you gonna be when you are radically loved up?

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“Love is the only truth. Love is our real embodiment. Love is the only thing that we deeply desire. And when we don’t feel loved, that’s when the trauma comes up. That’s when the fear comes up because our deepest fear is fear of rejection. And that’s when our hyper stress response comes up. That makes us act irreasonably.

But when you are loved and when you can give love and when you can receive love, all of that just vanishes and you are the best version of yourself. This is what we think with collective consciousness raising.”

Remember, Always keep your unique light shining! 

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Bio

Rohini & Karl are on a mission to get the world Radically Loved up, which starts with Radical Self Love. 80% of relationships fail, they feel it is needless and a symptom of deeper unrest, trauma & anger. They run Radical Transformational Retreats for Self Love and for Couples to make their relationships a magnificent daily love affair – yes it is possible, they have been together 22 years and every year get’s even more passionate & exciting. 

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Published by Raven Scott

As an international author, narcissist abuse recovering coach, Podcast host of Empath & Narcissist and creator of healing workshops. She is dispelling the narcissists' power one soul at a time.

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