Domestic Violence Awareness Month has arrived in October.
“I don’t remember when the first time he hit me was. Because the verbal abuse had been going on for so long.” — Dawn Ranae Ep. 92 Empath and the Narcissist podcast
Stop taking responsibility for other’s actions, it can cost you your life. Be True to Yourself. Love shouldn’t hurt. Do not ignore the signs of Narcissistic Abuse.
Today I share a conversation with Dawn Ranae. She shares her raw story of Narcissistic Abuse, domestic & physical violence and survival. Listen to full episode below.
Are Narcissists Violent? Domestic Violence Awareness with Dawn Ranae
Are Narcissists Violent? Domestic Violence Awareness with Dawn Ranea === Raven, I don’t remember when the first time he…player.captivate.fm
Dawn is a domestic abuse survivor, mother, widow of her true love and podcaster. As a wordsmith she offers products, coaching & community thru words to create healthy self image. “Words have power. Use them well.”
Here are my key takeaways from our conversation.
Be True to Yourself
Listen my friend, you are a highly sensitive person and you are a beautifully compassionate soul. You are here to be a light. But friend, you need to stop blurring the lines of where the other person starts and where you begin. Start now by investing fully and exploring who you, what you value, how you deserve to be treated, all by yourself. Because you are whole and complete with no one else complimenting you.
There is no “you complete me” person. You may be broken , but you are perfect just the way you are.
Why are you letting this person tell you who you are? All they are doing is covering up who you are with their darkness, in order so they can shine and rise above you.
Let no one else ever tell you who you are! You are a unique and complex soul who has a unique blueprint that you can find in your astrology chart, human design chart, and more personality tests. And these tools are here to give you evidence that you are 1,000 times more than what they say you are.
So Dear Empath, stop it! Stop listening to their lies!
You Don’t Know what goes on Behind Closed Doors
“I didn’t say that.” — “You’re too sensitive!” — “No one will believe you!” “you made me so angry if you had just done X, if you had only said this, if you had only worn something different, then I wouldn’t have hurt you.”
Are these phrases familiar?… Then you may be dealing with a narcissist. They convince you the abuse is your fault, or worse! — that it never happened!
On the outside they are perfect citizens and everyone doesn’t believe a victim because they have bought into their lie.
Keep a journal of accounts. Document the anger and actions. Keep the apology letters they right you. So you can look back, when they gaslight you, that you are not crazy and that you don’t deserve any of this.
The reason for abuse is always put upon the victim
“This is your fault. Look what you made me do.”
“At one point, he had me convinced that this never happened. It was all in my head and I made it all up. And this is my proof that this really happened because he admits to everything in these letters, he admits to everything that he denied. To the world, but to me, he admitted it.” — Dawn Ranae
This is the worst part of domestic violence. They never take responsibility and handle their emotions properly. It is better to take first hand account for more evidence of this. :
“He would hit me in the head or throw a carved vase at me and it hit me in the back of the leg and it cut my leg open. And he was like, if you had moved, it wouldn’t have hit you.” (If she was waling away, due to the location of the hit, she could not have seen anything in order to move.”…
“He punched a brick wall and broke his hand and immediately turned to me and said, this is all your fault.”
The blame is toxic, and ridiculous.
“We had a big argument and he told me to leave and I refused to leave. And he took a handgun out of the closet and held it up to my head and started pulling the trigger. And that’s when I left and I was 27 and this had been going on since I was 12.” — Dawn Ranae
They really cut their self esteem low in order to continue to put themselves up and to control you.
They have strong opinions and shame you for your hair style, nails, make up, outfits and more!
My x staged a whole makeover scheme so I would look pretty as he wanted. The first signs of abuse is control. And control over your body. You think it is innocemt at first because you like to please them and be open to change. Because when you do, they reward you with love and attention. This is a toxic mindset still in the minds of teenagers today.
I tell my girls now, if a guy tells you how you should look, run!!! If they can’t love you for how you look unaltered and love your soul and geart they are bad news.
Even though the narcissists in our lives had opposite views of makeup, I resonated with what Dawn’s x said so deeply. She did not wear makeup because he did not approve of makeup.B because he would say, “Why are you wearing makeup? Who are you trying to impress?” And if she said, “Oh, I want to look nice for you.” He said, “I didn’t say I needed you to look nice. Be grateful I keep you around. You’re lucky I don’t leave you. You’re lucky that I love you because nobody else will.”
Sound familiar? Just in case you are not sure… That is verbal abuse and NOT love.
If you are grieving and they’re struggling, know that this experience doesn’t have to define you.
If you are grieving and struggling. Just know that this experience does not have to define you. You do not have to be stuck in this place. There are ways that you can find a way out. Find something good in a moment. Even if it’s just for a few minutes a day, but find something to help keep the inside of you alive, while you strategize to get out and heal.
“We are all beautifully broken, but just because we are broken doesn’t mean that we are trash or disposable we are broken and that creates our own uniqueness. And maybe those cracks are supposed to let our inner light shine out so we can be a beacon to others and help guide them through their dark time.” — Dawn Ranae
How to heal and get out
Be true to you because if you don’t take care of you and let your light shine, then you’ve already lost. You’ve lost yourself and you are too precious to lose.
- Self Care : You may also like to read: 16 Tips for Self Care in Libra Season
- Spend time in nature, slow down and listen to your intuition/ body.
- Call the National Domestic Violence Hotline : 800-799- 7233 or 1–800–787–3224. Strong Hearts serves Native and Indigenous survivors
- Find a safe place to stay. In California visit this page for a map of Organizations
- Practice guided Inner Child Meditation
- Stop looking for answers outside yourself, and certainly from your abusor.
- Practice relieving your PTSD with EFT Tapping
- Release trauma, break negative patterns, and find the root cause with the emotion and body code. Explore in a free 30 minute call. https://madhvi.ca
Remember, Always keep your unique light shining!
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