How to Embrace your Queen Energy and Shed the Narcissist’s Control | Ep. 90

Learn how to rid yourself of the toxic narcissist in your life and step up into your own queen power.

“Don’t give two shits about what anybody else thinks dance to the beat of your own drum. “ —

 Marcus Hunter Neil Ep 90 Empath & The Narcissist podcast
Photo by Bestbe Models on Pexels.com

I had n empowering and high vibe conversation with Marcus Hunter Neil pioneer drag queen Lady Portia. Instagram: @ladypandme

Marcus is a MindValleys Irish Ambassador, Coach, TedTalker, Podcaster, Pioneer Drag Queen, and Ambassador for the NSPCC. 

“ No one sets out to actively be a narcissist and the victim of a narcissist. It just happens.”-

Marcus Hunter Neil

Here are some key moments:

Being with a narcissist is like Grey Gardens pretending to be glitterati while you’re living in a dilapidated house.

Photo by Roger Starnes Sr on Unsplash

“The lie is easier to tolerate than the truth”

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61. How to let go of the narcissist

“ No one sets out to actively be a narcissist and the victim of a narcissist. It just happens.“ It’s the narcissists personality.

The most successful people can fall for narcissist tricks. A narcissist personality is controlling subconsciously. They are like a giant feet shoving into Jimmy Choo shoes. Can happen to anybody and everybody so you need to learn to spot the warning signs.

The number one way to not get caught up in their tricks is to fall in love with yourself.

Be so content on your own that when something is off you bring up that they need to make a slight tweak to meet you halfway and compromise not you bend over backwards to make them happy. Relationship should be a want not a need. 

  • Be your own wing man, defend yourself and take no mistreatment.
Photo by Tyler Nix on Unsplash

No matter how much self work you do if you and the other person are not a fit you are not a fit

The narcissist insults sandwiched with praise and gifts makes you feel like you are the crazy one. Someone who truly is a good partner and lover couldn’t do anything against you they would really have your back. 

Love bombing: You may think that one weekend staycation makes up for all of the six months of abuse and upset you’ve taken. But in a healthy relationship it should be six months of peace to 48 hours of having some arguments and tumultuous times.

Here’s a test exercise can you list five things that you love about your narcissistic partner? if not then you are stuck in a scenario in the wrong environment and you’re making excuses each day as to why you will not break up with them.

Know your values know your worth. 

Because if you don’t have standards then you will shape shift for whomever you’re with. You will not fall into the grips of a narcissist if you do the work yourself for yourself.

Practice Mirror work. Self complement yourself.

If you’ve lost everything from a narcissist you can still build it back up

Marcus’ tree of life program:

He witnessed a cut down of the tree, drilled holes, in it and poured petrol in it and it still started growing baby shoots out of it. So no matter where you are in life, no matter how dark a scenario. You can come back from anything.

After you leave the narcissist it is going to get darker and tougher but when you come out on the other side is it better to live in misery because you have anxiety or too scared of a little bit of a bump in the road? Or would you rather on your life call thing is yours?

Photo by Zoe on Unsplash

The transition to abundance and happiness will be just a blip.

Don’t give up just because things are hard on the scale of life’s timeline. Your intense struggle is just a minuscule dot and you can get over to the other side. So if you stuck in anyway and it’s not pleasant just know yes the narcissist will be so angry that you left and they will do everything in their power to get back at you.

In your head let them have it release everything so that your mental health is not fighting against the negative powers of the narcissist.

Because in the grand scheme of things your life and your health and your breath and children are more important than anything the narcissist could physically take from you.

Do not put anybody even royalty on a pedestal because we are all human beings at the end of the day

When you put the narcissist on a pedestal and you’re thinking I am nothing without them this is where are you are vulnerable and you will get used and abused.

Love yourself radically. Be secure enough in your own skin no matter what happens when you come out on the other side it will all be fine.

Don’t get stuck in a situation because you’re afraid of what other people are going to think of you when you break out of it.

Don’t give two shits about what anybody else thinks dance to the beat of your own drum.

If there’s enough consistent people flagging concerns about the person you’re with listen to them. Don’t push them away.

Photo by Vanessa Kintaudi on Unsplash

Be secure enough in your own skin no matter what happens when you come out on the other side it will all be fine.

Start practicing meditation and reframe your negative back chat.

It all boils down to the mind and how powerful it is and if we let the narcissist control it then we will always be in the fog. But if we take back our power or if you take back your power you have it already within you.

“ Change your thoughts, change your vibe to change your life.” — Marcus Hunter Neil

Remember, Always keep your unique light shining! 

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Bio

Marcus is a MindValleys Irish Ambassador, Coach, TedTalker, Podcaster, Pioneer Drag Queen, and Ambassador for the NSPCC.

I’m very lucky to also have a 23 year successful drag career globally which has seen me be able to use my drag super power to cultivate some very BIG Changes.

In Northern Ireland, being front and centre in bringing marriage equality to N.I. A few fun facts, well apart from…being able to do an 8sec costume change & cartwheel in stilettos lol I’m currently working on my first novel & a personal development guide to Life!

Please feel free to reach out say hi

All the very best of wishes

love Marcus x 

Learn More about Marcus

Paperback, Hardback, Kindle, Audible

Published by Raven Scott

As an international author, narcissist abuse recovering coach, Podcast host of Empath & Narcissist and creator of healing workshops. She is dispelling the narcissists' power one soul at a time.

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