Don’t let anyone tell you that you’re not good enough because you’re carrying expectations of others.
This is your Sparkle Reminder.
Empaths often feel guilty when they fail to live up to other people’s expectations for them. But this guilt doesn’t serve any purpose. It only makes you unhappy and prevents you from living life on your terms.
Does the Sun ask itself, ‘Am I good? Am I worthwhile? Is there enough of me?”
No! It burns and it shines without fail.
Does the Sun ask itself, “What does the Moon expect of me? I wish I could fight like Mars! Is Pluto getting enough of my light?”
No! it burns as it is anyways. It shines from within it’s natural energy output and doesn’t worry what other Suns in other galaxies are doing.
1. Be Realistic About The Time That People Will Give You.
As stated in many other articles, narcissists will only give you their time when it is convenient. They expect all of your time, and demand you to meet their expectations, but when you ask for yours in return they deflect, project, and make you feel guilty for asking.
“How could you? I spend all day at work providing for you, why are you asking me to take more time? (to take you on a date)
The narcissist expects too much from you, and you will burnout, and never find your joy again until you walk away. So, instead of living up to the expected perfection projected from the narcissist, try to accept that you will make mistakes along the way. And give no heed to their guilt and shame. This will help you avoid disappointment and see through their malicious intentions.
2. Set Boundaries With Those Who Are Trying To Take Advantage Of You.
It’s easy to become a victim when the narcissist takes advantage of you. Instead of letting them do so, set boundaries with those who are trying to take advantage of you.
Setting boundaries is not just telling them what to do, it is communicating a actionable consequence, and then when they step over your boundary, following through and doing that action and instilling a consequence.
Boundaries are also not just that, there are boundaries you can set up for yourself to nurture your self, to strengthen you Emotional Intelligence, and to love yourself up so you are ready to not put up with the abuse any longer. Boundaries are self care and self love.
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3. Let Go Of The Need For Perfection And Accept Yourself As You Are.
Part of the reason you believe the narcissists lies about your flaws (which actually are just areas for you to grow, and also are the flaws of the narcissist projected onto you) is because you haven’t accepted yourself as an evolving human being who is flawless.
The concept of a flaw or not being perfect is false. It is constructed by religions, manipulators, and systems that wish to oppress you to gain more power. Perfection is a myth. Even the seemingly most perfect of men, Buddha, Jesus, Gandhi never admitted perfection and demanded it of others.
If you expect perfection from yourself, then you will never achieve anything worthwhile and remain stuck in the web of lies of the narcissist. In fact, you’ll probably end up feeling disappointed and frustrated by your own efforts feeling stuck in this horror film of a life forever.
On the other hand, if you accept yourself as you are, you’ll feel better about yourself and more confident in your ability to succeed.
4. Learn To Say No When Someone Is Taking Too Much Of Your Time and Energy.
This is what makes the narcissist thrive is your time, attention, and your energy towards them. Whether is positive or negative, they love it.
When stop defending yourself, stop having sympathy for them, and stop giving them all your time and energy, you regain your power back and you stop the vicious cycle of them sucking the life out of you.
It can feel complicated and that is what the narcissist does, is confuse you by pushing your pleasure buttons, and then pushing your wound buttons. So you are trauma bonded. They hurt you to turn around and be your savior. If you work to be neutral about events and feelings, you will cease the dominion of the narcissist over you.
Learn how to say “No” when someone is taking too much of your time. It’s okay to set boundaries with people who take advantage of you.
And open your eyes to the manipulative emotion game. Just because you feel something doesn’t mean it’s true. Your brain proves your thoughts true. So journal them out, take a step back and examine.
Do the Work, and ask yourself, how do I desire to feel, and what thought would make that desirable feeling true. And 10 out of 10 it will be de-masking the narcissist and empowering you to own your own life, thoughts and autonomy.
And remember, always keep your unique light shining!
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