How to Break Free from Toxic Relationships through Self Love

Erase the idea that you do not deserve love, and love yourself first. This applies to love from clients, love from friends, love from family or a lover.

“I had this. Idea of myself and my head that I just didn’t deserve love.

And that’s what started my spiral of looking outside of myself for love and acceptance,”

Amanda Acker

-This week in the podcast we have another amazing guest!

As a motivational speaker and podcaster Amanda Acker is on a mission to inspire and motivate those who have a difficult past to realize that they are stronger than they think and can have the life they want and deserve. She wants to help them rise above the labels of society and burst through the ceilings that they have put on top of themselves. Amanda’s core message is that our pasts don’t define us and that we are way stronger than we think.

I feel so honored to have her on and share a tiny snippet of her story. You must listen to her story on her podcast Let The Good Things In Show. Where she shares how she ended up in jail and desperately seeking the program that they failed to put her in and fight for her freedom to get out and get help.

Below are my take aways from this beautiful episode!

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How to Break Free from Toxic Relationships through Self Love

How to Break Free from Toxic Relationships through Self Love

“You are stronger than you think.”

Amanda Acker

1. Overcome obstacles and forgive yourself [ timestamp 4:00]

The first step in the healing process is forgiveness. That’s what Amanda did in her journey. And oh the hoops one jumps through to feel love from the outside.

I overcame all of those past obstacles and forgive myself and continue to work through those things. So I know that it’s possible for other people as well.
my past doesn’t define me is kind of.”

Amanda Acker

This ties into the latest episode I shared about The Single Most HEALING Practice. The Ho’ o pono pono Prayer is a powerful ancient Hawaiian clearing tool. You have control to rewrite your story and deeply cleanse and forgive yourself. Heal your shame through self love. Listen to that episode to hear the message of LOVE with another guest Jenn Evers.

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2. Transforming into the person you want is 100% attributed to your mindset. [5:16]

The shift from allowing others to dictate your bad decisions to gain love and acceptance, getting herself pregnant, homeless, addicted to substance and landed in jail to having a clean, fulfilling life with a loving husband and child is 100% attributed to her inner work and mindset. She put the work in and knew she couldn’t go on letting toxic in her life anymore.

As the buddhist say “All that we are is the result of what we have thought. The mind is everything. What we think we become.” – Buddha

And I chose to look inward and stop looking outward.”

Amanda Acker

The single most powerful step to start forgiving yourself and finding stability in your emotions and thoughts is to soother your underdeveloped emotions or some call the inner child. When you show up and earn trust as the healed adult in your own life for the parts of you that feel scared, hurt or unloved, major shifts start to happen.
Coach Action Steps to Inner Child Work Tips: 

  1. Release your parent’s voice in your head and let go of the weight this authoritative programming has put on you.
  2. Let your Adult, healed, self be present for your inner child. 
  3. Listen to your inner child and play as they wish to play.  
  4. Practice the Inner child Meditation HERE on Youtube and wear a reminder of your inner child to take care of them all day. 
The Thriving Intuitive YouTube Channel Mindfulness Monday 10 minute meditations

3. Look inward and stop looking outward for love, and for causes of repeated mistakes. [5:30]

As a child I was quiet, shy, obedient and happy.

As a tween I was curious and sexually experimental and then was bullied by my best friend whom experimented with me. I felt guilty and was ignorant and had a lot of fear around sex. I felt I sinned and went against the God of my Christina religion rules and had a stomach ache due to the guilt which made me think I was pregnant. This was impossible as this was a female on female encounter.

As a teen I was too responsible, I kept busy and overcompensated and did not allow anyone close to me again because of that pain.

Then my last year of high school I met a charming guy in my church who fit all the parts to be a safe and wise choice to love.

Turns out he wasn’t a safe choice and he used my low self worth, vulnerability and pliable self esteem to mold me into who he wanted. Like a pet project and a trophy.
Then once I was co dependent he would “toss me off the shelf” put me down, manipulate me, shove me away at my most vulnerable.
It was heart torture. – you can read my whole story in my book Empath and The Narcissist a healing guide for people pleasers.
❤️ but I just wanted to share that even today I see my triggger of wanting to go along with the program even if it’s against my boundaries to feel loved by my own family.
And it hurts, and it makes me upset, and I know they don’t have the solution.
They don’t know how to be empathic of my feelings, they just know how to go behind my back or withhold information or try and prevent me from finding out so I don’t get mad.
So I am ignored which makes me even more hurt.
And what I’ve transformed and learned is, that I am the only Source of Love. My connection with God/ Source /Love is the only 💕 I need.
“I am whole and perfect and I know how to take care of myself.”
Happy New Moon in Libra ♎️
While this energy is here tune into how your relationships are balanced or unbalanced.

Mercury retrograde is a time when you can rehash conversations and emotions that still trigger you.
Say it with kindness and love because the other person needs to hear it. To either move on or repair and move forward.

“By finding my values and my boundaries. And finding affirmations, which have been life-changing”

– Amanda Acker
Click to watch Reel

4.Find your values and boundaries helps shift you from people pleaser to thriving kick ass authentic self. [6:30]

“What will you NOT accept in your life?”

OOhf! My gut just dropped typing that because it is not as easy to stand up against energy and people you do not want in your life and say “out”!

They may feel betrayed, hurt, lash out, say mean things back. But wouldn’t you rather put up with that for a minute versus keeping their toxic actions in your life for much longer?

I can’t keep allowing this toxic ness into my life and affecting me to the point where I’m making decisions based off other people’s opinions.

what will you accept in your life?

And what won’t you accept?

Amanda Acker

Repel toxic people and situations asking yourself “What will I accept in my life?” and “What won’t I accept in my life?” [17:00]

Comment on this post to share what you will NOT ACCEPT in your life anymore.

5. You are stronger than you think [14:56]

This may seem obvious, but this is what our body sometimes doesn’t believe in the panic moments.

Amanda kept telling her that she is stronger than she thinks and can handle this when she was stick in jail versus a addict program she thought she was going to.

You are stronger than you think.

Amanda Acker

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6. The awakening moment can be harsh and is never easy to swallow, but as humans we need that jolt. [10:00]

Heart break and betrayal is not something anyone wishes to experience, but in the human experience it does help wake us up to our patterns that do not serve us or anyone around us.

“when I had my wake up moment, two years ago, I was betrayed and I didn’t know why.”

When it comes to toxic relationships and domestic abuse it comes in all shapes and sizes.
Emotional abuse, physical abuse, sexual abuse, substance abuse….

And although We all didn’t have the same exact experience…
I do know that we all have journeyed on the same path of emotions through it, the exit and the healing.
❤️ it starts with…
Love, …
…then. heartbreak, … betrayal,
THEN despair, …. survival, …flight, …. remorse,
guilt, … shame, judgements, and false accusations from ALL parties you used to know in defense of the abuser (who acts like the victim) ….
Anger🔥…., then fighting back to take your power….
💪🏽strength, ….COURAGE… transformation then victory.

This podcast guest Amanda @theletgoodthingsinshow has taken that same journey that I have and so many others.

And I’m honored to have her share her lessons on the podcast of how to repel toxicity and attract the good things into your life.
You can listen to her podcast “How to shift toxic choices with self love”💕💕
If you need HELP on your healing journey from abuse grab my book The Empath and The Narcissist a healing guide for the people pleaser.
⚠️⚠️ also catch my life stream with @double_dot_theory and @narcabuse_tv talking about 🚩 red flags!!! It’s going to be extremely helpful to prevent falling in the trap again.
Tuesday Oct 12 at 5:30 pm pdt on @narcabuse_tv channel right here on IGTV.
Save the date!
Listen and subscribe!!
Tag a friend in the comments 👇🏽👇🏽 whom is an advocate for 🛑 ing #dv Visit this IG post to share and comment HERE

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7. You attract those people waiting for me by showing up being me authentically. [22:03]

“We need to let the good things in, then we need to rid ourselves of the negative energy in our lives…,

We need to allow the positiveness, the good, the good people, because they are there and they’re waiting for you. You just have to be open to receive the good things in life. “

Amanda shares with us how to repel and attract by using your intuition.
You can feel the energy of others to help you repel negativity. how’s this person making me feel? Are they making me feel safe?

Listening to yourself is listening to your intuition. Everyone
Loving yourself is what attracts abundance, love, and good things in.
You attract those people waiting for me by showing up being me authentically.
whatever your highest good is for yourself is the highest good for everyone around you really?

“I can make good choices for myself and the ones that I love.”

Thriving Intuitives, comment below if you are ready to repel the negative and attract abundance and goo people into your life!

Amanda’s Links
Podcast The Let Good Things In Show
FB Group:

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Published by Raven Scott Nguyen

Raven Scott Nguyen is a passionate advocate for self-empowerment and authentic living, dedicated to helping individuals break free from the chains of narcissistic abuse. With a profound understanding of the human psyche and a deep commitment to personal growth, Raven is the author of "Empath & The Narcissist: Overcoming Gaslighting and Manipulation." This groundbreaking book offers a transformative roadmap for survivors of narcissistic abuse, guiding them towards a life filled with happiness and authenticity healing PTSD, and Trauma from abuse. Drawing from extensive knowledge of Human Design, energy healing, and empathic abilities, Raven is also the author of "Empath's Guide to Rising Strong" a powerful guide that delves into the intricacies of Human Design to help empaths harness their unique energies for self-empowerment and healing. As an empath who has journeyed through the depths of narcissistic abuse, Raven is deeply committed to empowering fellow empaths on their healing journey. With a profound understanding of the emotional landscapes empaths navigate. Raven is the host and producer of "Empaths Rising: Healing with Human Design" This podcast serves as a beacon of hope and transformation, offering practical guidance and insights for those seeking to reclaim their lives and live authentically. Raven is a passionate advocate for shadow work, self-care Moon rituals, and Human Design, and is dedicated to guiding individuals towards a life of self-empowerment and inner peace. With a compassionate heart and a wealth of knowledge, Raven continues to inspire and uplift others on their path to healing and self-discovery through her blog at

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