How to Embrace your Queen Energy and Shed the Narcissist’s Control with Lady Portia

Marcus Hunter Neil aka Lady Portia –

MindValleys Irish Ambassador, Coach, TedTalker, Podcaster, Pioneer Drag Queen, Ambassador for the NSPCC

“Reframing the negative back chat that you say about yourself. And then all of a sudden, once you reframe that you start going well, I’m not gonna let other people say that to me. Everything’s a journey. And if you’re not a good meditator, I wasn’t a good me meditator because I, my mind was too chatty.

I did guided. 20 minute meditations. Then I got myself up to a bit more. And now, I love them. I can do guided ones or, or not mm-hmm but raise your own vibration so that you transcend this, the scenario that you’re in.” 

Marcus Hunter Neil

Why do Narcissists like to control? Narcissists who do these things may or may not control unintentionally.

Photo by Git Stephen Gitau on

They, they don’t set out to be like, “I’m gonna grab this person and I’m gonna turn them into a victim.” This is just what their personality is. And then they move. and mold people into what works for them. It’s a bit like getting a pair of Jimmy’s shoes and then breaking them in they’re really. So at the start, but once you break them in, then, then they’re comfortable.

So that’s what a narcissist tries to do with a partner. I’ll bend them to my way. and I’ll make them fit. And then, and then the shoe fits and then all of a sudden you go, actually, these are six and heels. I could wear trainers. yeah. You know, I’m gonna, I’m getting off this Merry Gorin, you know? Yeah. And that’s the thing.

It’s not you. No one sets out actively to be a narcissist and the victim of a narcissist. It just happens. And it can happen to everybody. And. And you just have to kind of spot the warning signs.

“Don’t give two shits about what anybody else thinks dance to the beat of your own drum. “

I  had a fabulous conversation with Marcus Hunter Neil, and was pumped up and empowered by his loving words and wisdom. And I am sure you will too!

Here are some key moments:

  • Being with a narcissist is like Grey Gardens pretending to be glitterati while you’re living in a dilapidated house.
  • “ No one sets out to actively be a narcissist and the victim of a narcissist. It just happens.“ It’s the narcissists personality.
  • Be your own wing man, defend yourself and take no mistreatment
  • Relationship should be a want not a need
  • No matter how much self work you do if you and the other person are not a fit you are not a fit
  • Know your values know your worth. Because if you don’t have standards then you will shape shift for whomever you’re with.
  • Do not put anybody even royalty on a pedestal because we are all human beings at the end of the day
  • Here’s a test exercise can you list five things that you love about your narcissistic partner? if not then you are stuck in a scenario in the wrong environment and you’re making excuses each day as to why you will not break up with them. 
  • Love yourself radically. Be secure enough in your own skin no matter what happens when you come out on the other side it will all be fine. 

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Marcus’ Bio:

My Name is Marcus …

I’m based in Sunny Belfast Northern Ireland, But he world is my playground, I’m living the dream in high Vibration, 1 set back at a time lol.

I wear many hats in my career and over the past 20years Ive had a very diverse road of life, I am the MindValleys Irish Ambassador, which is a role I love, I founded the The U=CanNetWork in the 1st locked down a global helping hand network, I mostly work in global corporate Leadership & Personal development, with teams or individuals, working with major international organizing on setting up best working practices and delivering supportive coaching on Diversity, Equality, Inclusion and Belonging, including the importance Cognitive Diversity.

I am an End Goal Strategists, Social Entrepreneur, TedTalker, History maker many times over & 100% LIFE LOVER who loves to talk and has wonderful stories to share, which I do weekly on a Dating and Love podcast I co Host “Dating is Such a Drag” (pun intended)

I love Working in the field of Thought leadership, Coaching, leadership & personal development, as a communications facilitator and leadership mentor I deliver workshops & seminars across a variety of sectors, I love nothing more than helping companies and individuals get out of their own way and thrive!

I have my own coaching practice with clients all over the world, so Im used to working in different time zones, what makes my coaching very unique is not only do I work on unblocking, cognitively reframing and neurologically reprogramming negative limiting beliefs, thoughts and actions, I spent an equal amount of time raising each individual client’s personal vibration, so they become super humans in the world around them & the universe delivers there wish list for life! tweaking our personal vibration gives us the key to whatever we want & my clients transform their lives in weeks!

I work with a toolbox of a different kind. Leaving school with no qualifications, a result of severe dyslexia & many years of degrading and humiliating bullying – once I left school, I very quickly excelled my way to adult life and career by cultivating the art of listening, watching & reading human behaviour to figure out what makes people tick, I know how to use every trick in my toolbox for maximum success. over the past 23 years of working my experience comes from working in special needs, the world of performing arts, media, property & cosmetics sales, being the only male cosmetic salesperson in Northern Ireland at the time & as a pioneering drag artist, I identify a weakness or quirky characteristic and turn it into a strength.

I’ve got a wonderfully colorful and a hard-working lifestyle which allows me to share my knowledge with others, in the hope to help, inspire & drive them forward in their own careers. I love seeing teams I work with transform and gel makes my heart sing, because None Of Us Are As Strong As All Of Us! with no traditional qualifications Ive worked 8years within BBC both presenting producing & Entertainment shows,

Im an ambassador for the NSPCC, Childline a role I do both as myself & in Drag showing that diversity exists and its cool, Ive also loved my time working on Children in Need & I may have been in the suit, As a part of my time in cosmetics and beyond, Ive work for MacMillan & I ran for 10 years Look Good Feel Better a cosmetics cancer charity.

I’m very lucky to also have a 23 year successful drag career globally which has seen me be able to use my drag super power to cultivate some very BIG Changes.

In Northern Ireland, being front and centre in bringing marriage equality to N.I. A few fun facts, well apart from…being able to do an 8sec costume change & cartwheel in stilettos lol I’m currently working on my first novel & a personal development guide to Life!

Please feel free to reach out say hi

All the very best of wishes

love Marcus x 

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