Are you in too deep that you cannot leave the Narcissist? (yet)
Dive into my hidden world of my journal as I felt your pain as an empath. In this empathic episode, we unravel the complexities of why empaths sometimes feel compelled to stay with narcissists, whether it’s for the sake of their children, financial dependence, or fear of the unknown.
But here’s the twist: I’m not just exploring the problem and the difficult emotions; I am offering solutions.
Tune in to discover empowering strategies for empaths to not only survive but thrive in these challenging relationships. Learn how to safeguard your light from the Narcissist.
>>Understand the Narcissist: They thrive on power and control and often use emotional manipulation as their weapon of choice.
>>Set Boundaries and Prioritize Self-Care:Even in the midst of chaos, carve out moments for yourself.
>>Practice Emotional Detachment: This doesn’t mean shutting down your emotions; it means not allowing their actions and words to dictate how you feel. Recognize that their behavior is a reflection of their issues, not your worth.
you have the strength within you to endure and overcome this challenging situation. By safeguarding your emotional well-being, setting boundaries, seeking support, and focusing on your inner light, you can remain true to yourself and weather the storm of a relationship with a narcissist. You are not alone, and your journey is a testament to your resilience and courage.
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Stay Strong with Narcissist
Stay Strong with Narcissist
welcome to the Empath Rising podcast, where we are healing from narcissistic abuse, with human design, taro, and astrology.
I’m your host, Raven, Scott.
Make sure to share this podcast with a friend. Spread the love spread the light. And subscribe./
[00:00:24] Raven: Stay strong, dear empath, and be true to yourself while you’re in a relationship with a narcissist.
I had a terrifying yet familiar dream that I know all of you in the collective as survivors and current survivors in a relationship with a narcissist have experienced. This felt like such a collective absorption of pain and suffering.
I just, I could, I could feel like I was in too deep. And, as I know currently, I am not in too deep, I am in a very healthy, communicative relationship. All I can interpret it as, just feeling all of your feelings. Feeling like you’re in too deep, like, You know, you’ve cut off so many people in your life just due to making sure that the narcissist is happy.
And you lash out at those who are trying to help you and love you because you just can’t handle the pressure of pleasing both.
You know you’re supposed to heal, you know you’re supposed to be brave, but how? How do you do that when you’re in too deep? And I just want to start by telling you that I understand how you feel. I understand the complexities of your situation and the emotions that swirl within you and the difficult decisions that you have to make on a day to day basis.
And in this episode we’re talking about if you’ve chosen to stay. You’re very brave. And perhaps you have chosen to stay because you have children. And you need this relationship to be fixed, I guess, in order to quote unquote keep your family together. Or maybe you’re here because you’d rather not fight a huge custody battle and rip your family apart.
Maybe you stay because of fear, or financial dependence, or a combination of all these factors. I know firsthand that it’s not an easy path that you’re treading on, but I want you to know That your light can still shine, and your strength can remain unbroken if you need to stay for a while.
So I wrote this out after I woke up, just resonating with the collective. I’m in too deep. Got no money to get my feet. I always hate it when you gloat.
I hate you for being perfect. You don’t even know it. I put my strength on and speak when you’re wrong. You are charming when you want something, but when you get nothing out of it, you’re cold. Ice man. Icy heart, as cold as ice. Your snowy cover has melted from my light, yet you’re still freezing to the touch.
And an icicle will jut out when you feel threatened. I make us look perfect to your ex, but really, that’s my bright light keeping you warm. But my light can only illuminate, not warm you from the inside out. I need you to be kinder, warmer, let your defenses go. I need you to burn your icicles off and glow.
I’m in this marriage that’s not perfect.
You may stay because your children, your income, or your routines. It’s been 20 years, 30 years. Why change now? I want you, all who have been scared away by my partner, to know that I love you. I think of my time with you fondly and wish you well. You weren’t so scared to make more memories with me. One day, this phase will pass.
But just as before, I will be sad you weren’t with me. Through this murky, muddy time. Through the thick fog I tread, all alone in my head. I cry out, but you are just too scared. So I walk alone, light held bare. I wish I didn’t have to go alone, but this is my path to light and to own. I see now that bad behaviors are driven by anxiety and fear.
To grow is to allow that in your sphere. But not to be taken by the hurt, but to transmute it like rotten fruit in the earth. To tell that person I want to play, but don’t want to be pressured. Or I want to play, but not today. Draw those rules in the sand so you too can play hand in hand. I like to make memories, but don’t share them with the world.
That feels embarrassing and not respectful. And gives me the tummy twirls. Friendship can be complicated. I know it’s hard to see. But there are circles of trust that some can’t see. The friend who shares your secrets is not one to bring close and be trusted. But that does not mean you can’t still throw a ball and laugh without being super close.
Find activities that filter your thoughts and limit your time. But that doesn’t mean it’s okay to not be kind. Being kind is sharing your boundaries. And your yes means yes, and your no means no. I know some people just wrinkle your nerves. They deserve to hear the truth. Not through a cold heart, but a warm, genuine core from a loving heart.
I know it’s scary, because they might become mean and hairy. Or cry and make you feel guilty. But deep down, you know your intentions were true. Loyal is to your boundaries, brave is to speak them, and true is to your heart to deliver the news as warm as you can.
That was all pouring out of me this morning through spirit, and sounds like a little children’s book towards the end there that I might just draft up. But I understand your situation, dear empath. And it. It is important that you’re researching about narcissism because the first step to survive and to stay strong while still in a situation with a narcissist is to first and foremost understand the mental illness or the emotional crippling.
Why do they manipulate? Maybe the whys aren’t important, but the patterns are important to know. They thrive on power and control because they are scared and insecure inside. And they become a porcupine, they become a rock solid castle, and they often use emotional manipulation as their weapon to get the upper ground, to get the, the, to not appear, not to, to not show their vulnerabilities to anybody, even you.
Because if they appear weak, then they’ve failed. Somehow, in their little inner child psyche, it was conditioned and or they experienced. That it wasn’t safe to fail, it wasn’t safe to make mistakes, it wasn’t safe to be vulnerable. But if you, I know, can hold safe space for them, but it’s their job to do that for them.
And as I remember talking to Leon Walker, that is the scariest. Like they would rather die in battle than be vulnerable and share their feelings and thoughts, even to a professional therapist. So they make you doubt your own feelings because of all this. They make you start to feel crazy because you’re trying to open up and be vulnerable for them to do so, but they make you doubt your own feelings and your needs and even your instincts.
So recognize these patterns and tactics. It really is the first step in safeguarding your emotional well being and if you go all the way back into season five and four, Every Tuesday, we had an educational conversation about narcissism, as well as a lot of our expert guests that we had on, we had conversations about it.
It’s really important to prioritize your self care if you’re going to remain with a narcissist. And your strength comes from within. So it’s essential to nurture it, it’s essential to put your shield up and bounce off all of their deflection, their blame, and their emotions, which are so dark and sticky, and bounce it off.
And it’s crucial to make sure that you understand that your self care isn’t selfish, even though they’re going to guilt you into thinking so. And they’re gonna be upset, just like a little child, that you’re not taking care of them, or you’re not doing whatever they need you to do. It’s really important for your self preservation to do your meditations, to do your walks, to do your studying, your journaling, your anything that lights you up.
And these moments don’t have to be long or extravagant. You can do a five minute meditation to re center and re ground yourself. You can walk through the grass barefoot, you know, find time in between maybe pick ups and drop offs to wear flip flops and then take them off real quick and walk through the grass.
They can be simple, just a few minutes, and of closing your eyes, deep breathing, soaking in nature, and prioritizing your self care. It’s not just for you, it’s for your children as well, right? We have to remain calm and grounded in the chaos of the narcissist, and you’ll be better equipped to support them when you’re emotionally grounded.
And seek support. You don’t have to do this journey alone, especially if you’re deciding to stay. Reach out to trusted friends who are trauma informed and family members who can offer emotional support and a listening ear. If you do not have that, feel free to comment and join the community on Instagram as well as our email community, the Empath Healing Community.
I’m working on figuring out what is the best platform to actually create a chat forum or a thread. So, feel free to reach out and let me know, DM me on Instagram, if that be a Facebook group, Facebook Messenger, or Patreon, or to make my own app. It’s really important to have these communities of positivity and light and support, and of course, if you need therapy, if you’re feeling extremely depressed, anxious, and you just need that professional therapy support, , if you don’t have anyone locally, we have BetterHelp.
As our sponsor here that can give you that support. And these avenues provide you a space where you can express your feelings without judgment. Because you feel judgment from the narcissist. They’re not a safe place to share. And they can help you with coping strategies. Of course. Narcissists thrive on chaos and drama, so set boundaries.
And the whole point of self care is to know that you are worth your boundaries. So you boost yourself up emotionally to know that I deserve this boundary I’m setting right now and I’m not going to cave. They may provoke you intentionally to get a reaction, well, this is natural, uh, you want to defend yourself, I get it.
Your ego’s like, no, no, no, no, you cannot do that, and you start to argue with them and then you’re like, I regret arguing with this person, because not every battle is worth fighting with a narcissist. Speaking up for yourself, yes. Drawing clear boundaries, yes. But not like getting into the muck of the arguing of answering why or answering this or that.
Choose your battles wisely, always grey rock, and avoid getting drawn into those unnecessary conflicts. Just draw your boundary and then follow through with the consequence. It’s not a sign of weakness. You know, if you make a mistake here or there, and it really demonstrates strength and self control. Not fighting doesn’t mean that you’re weak, it just means that you’re wise.
I mean, the best thing, too, when you’re with a narcissist is to emotionally detach. One of the most challenging things is to emotionally detach, but it’s also the most empowering thing. Like I always say, like, don’t give a crap. Don’t care. Their emotions are not your responsibility. So, this doesn’t mean you’re going to shut down your emotions entirely, this just means Like I said, you’re going to be more like a rock, and you’re going to not engage in the negative emotions, the drama.
And you’re not going to engage in the guilt they make you feel, or this, uh, codependent trauma bond to fix, or to appease them. Let them stew. Let them, you know, find their own solution. And recognize their behavior as a reflection of their own issues. It’s not a reflection of your worth. Even though they will say so.
Focus on your inner light. Your empathic nature is a beautiful gift, but it can also make you vulnerable to absorbing the negativity of others. So preserve your light, sage a whole bunch, do the empath aura shield protection I have up on the podcast as well as on the YouTube channel Empath healing with human design to preserve your light.
To preserve your strength and your energy, whether it’s creative hobbies, painting, art, gardening, volunteering, or just simply spending time with your children. Nurturing your inner light will help you remain connected to your true self. And then make a plan. Make a plan for your exit. Develop your financial plan, your situation, , You know, if the fear or your finances are keeping you in this relationship, consider making a plan for your independence.
Make it a two year goal, three year goal, to save up as much as you can and figure out that exit strategy. This may involve seeking employment, pursuing education, absolutely get your own bank account, , all in your own name, without them connected to it and not knowing about it. , and maybe it, it takes you going back and getting some training or just tapping into your own power and creativity to create your financial safety net.
Preparing for a future where you have more control over your life can be empowering and give you hope, give you strength. And above all, remember your worth, your worth comes from nothing but your breath. You breathe, you exist, you have a purpose here on earth, and you are unique. You are valuable. You are deserving of love, respect, and happiness.
And where life, of course, is not perfect for all of us on the outside of a relationship with a narcissist, there’s still challenges and we still have to work through our, , faults and our shadows. , but we all know, and I want you to know, that you deserve all those things. Respect, happiness, to be listened to, to have a normal conversation, back and forth without blame and manipulation.
The narcissist’s behavior does not define you. Your journey may be difficult, but it does not diminish your worth as a person. So, dear empath, I want you to know that you have the strength within you to endure and overcome this challenging situation. By safeguarding your emotional well being, setting boundaries and seeking support, and focusing on your inner light, You can remain true to yourself and weather the storm of a relationship with a narcissist.
You are not alone, and your journey is a testament to your resilience and courage.
If someone wants to give you a gift, but they don’t accept it, who does the gift belong to? The answer is the person who wanted to give it away. Likewise, with your abuse, I do not wish to accept it. And so, it belongs to you. You would have to keep this gift of harsh words and abuse for yourself. And I am afraid that in the end, you will suffer for it.
For a bad man who abuses a good man can only bring suffering on himself. If a man wants to dirty the sky by spitting at it, his spittle can never make the sky dirty. It would only fall onto his face and make his face dirty. A quote from Buddha.
Thank you so much for investing in yourself today to become more empowered and listening and tuning into your own inner voice. Join our empath healing community for free and receive your free 10 day live NARC free audio workshop. Grab your copy of the empath and the narcissist book, either on paperback, hardcover or audible.
And look out in your emails for the upcoming workbook coming out soon. You can dive deeper with me and get your free human design chart , in the pinned post on Instagram, at Ravenscott Show. Or you can purchase your full reading to ask me as many questions as you have about your chart. Don’t forget to get professional help through our sponsor, BetterHelp.
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And head on over to the episode page where you can subscribe to the blog and read even more. I have extra bonus information through the blog that you can read that I haven’t talked about here on the podcast. So many ways to dive deeper with me and I really, really, truly, truly I appreciate you, and I’m sending so much energy out to you, for you to be empowered to your impact, on your healing journey, and in this next chapter of your life.
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