Heal the disconnect between your Heart & Mind.Jeannine Rashidi
Unlock the power within you to heal from trauma! 🌟 Listen to our latest podcast episode where we delve into Jeanine Rashidi’s step-step process for transformation. Your journey to recovery begins now.
She is the author of Abundance Beyond Trauma: Discovering your Courage for Change and Commitment to Yourself.
Jeanine Rashidi, a renowned trauma healing expert, has developed a transformative step-by-step process to help individuals awaken their inner healer and embark on the road to healing from trauma.
In this episode, she will walk you through each step so that you can begin your own journey toward healing and empowerment.
Jeannine Rashidi’s website
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Unleash Your Inner Healer: Jeanine Rashidi's Step-by-Step Process for Healing Trauma
Unleash Your Inner Healer: Jeanine Rashidi's Step-by-Step Process for Healing Trauma
welcome to the Empath Rising podcast, where we are healing from narcissistic abuse, with human design, taro, and astrology.
I'm your host, Raven, Scott.
Make sure to share this podcast with a friend. Spread the love spread the light. And subscribe./
Healing from trauma is a journey that can be arduous, but it is a path towards empowerment and resilience. And self-discovery. And in my reel that I shared yesterday.
I had this exact, very same aha moment about how difficult it is. To find healing and the difficulty comes when. Where on YouTube or on Instagram or looking to all of our mentors. And they look like they have it all together. And. It's difficult because it's hard to convey authentic. Messages. Through these tiny 60 seconds snippets on social media. And this is why I love podcasting because you could hear the real raw me. You can hear. My struggles. You can hear what I'm working through. You can even hear me like wanting to quit and stop having dreams about. My past trauma. And quit the podcast, but yet here I am still trucking along. And sharing with you. That these small snippets, they're just a false narrative. Just like seeing, you know, beautiful homes on Pinterest. Like I was struggling with yesterday feeling such imposter syndrome and having all my stuff perfectly organized, but they're still in fabric, you know, baby toy boxes versus a built in cabinet, which I so desire and. You know, people say it's so easy just to build it all together. As they share a reel of themselves building it in their home, it's like, no, you need to buy the equipment. You need to know the angle. You need to know the technique. To build this darn box. And it's the same thing with healing. From trauma it's. You know, though, I may share all of these. Parts of the journey and this hope and this encouragement, the empowerment that gas. There is abundance beyond, you know, once you get out from narcissistic abuse, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Life is much more clearer and full of sunshine when you're out of that deep, dark. Cavern of a bus when you're stuck in the storm, when you're stuck in that dark Fortech. So I like to call it with a narcissist. But life just isn't peaches and roses.
You know, it's joyous, it's beautiful. It's peaceful, but you still have to struggle with in your mind, who is your worst enemy about new challenges that you're up against? Like, A new career, a new job, if you're a parenting, right? I mean, all of the things it's, there's always pain. There's always something difficult in the world. You know, coal isn't formed and made into a beautiful, shiny diamond without pressure without difficulties. So even when you leave the narcissist, that doesn't mean life is without difficulties. But when you are free from the narcissist. The benefit is you now have a healthy support system that can speak positivity to speak empowerment, to speak sense. Into your mind and erase the negative messages that are holding you back that are freezing you in your fear. It doesn't matter if you know, speaking about human design, there's no label you can put on it. If you have an open spleen or a defined spleen center. Which is where our fear comes from. We all experienced fear as humans. It's part of our survival. But the one thing that I can guarantee when you are free from the narcissist. Is it, you will not have another person in your life, in your ear, amplifying your fear and using it to their advantage to get whatever they want or to. Boosts their eco.
And yes, this is a very raw message I'm sharing with you that comes from this. Fear of imposter syndrome. I'm getting ready to launch my next book. I'm starting to feel a fear and the procrastination of not finishing, editing it. I already had the cover, all set and designed. Now I've got to get the gates edited. So. It should seem like a simple task that there becomes this block, right. You've experienced the block of like, can I do it? Am I good enough to do it. Am I. Experienced enough to do it. It doesn't matter. You have to let go of these. Social constructs and narratives that you have to be an expert to put something out into the world. So I'm preaching to myself as to you that just to take it step by step. You know, step-by-step it here next? Moment. The present is all we have. The present is now. And we're all human. And we all have experienced. Hurt trauma. Some type of form of trauma. And of course, then all of you listening have experienced abuse.
We all have experienced hard things. We all can do hard things. And if you could just figure out a way to say to your negative thoughts. Silencio Bruno. From that amazing Disney movie. Then you can do hard things too. You really can do hard things and everything is figure out-able. If you have that mentality and you know, you're going to get out from the narcissist, you're going to figure out a way. There's always an exit strategy. And sometimes that is. Waiting for someone to present to you an opportunity and an escape route. And other times, it's you working really hard and keeping your nose to the grindstone. T to make your own way. We each have our own unique path. And so today's episode, we have a special guest speaking to us, Janine Rashidi and she's a renowned trauma healing expert. And she's developed a transformative step by step process. I think you'll really enjoy because I enjoyed it. , is to help you awaken your inner healer and to embark on the road to healing from trauma. She is the author of abundance beyond trauma. Discovering your courage for change and commitment to yourself. And she is agreed to record something for us, which has been, , a fun, new adventure that most people don't experience. Usually they hop onto an interview when they talk to people. But number one, I'm short on time. And number two. I found that it actually. Cuts to the heart of the matter, a lot quicker with our amazing guests. So I hope that this speaks to you. And your healing journey, and I hope that it empowers you today. So let's dive into her message for /you.
[00:07:32] Jeanine: Hello and welcome. My name is Janine Rashidi. My mission is to revolutionize how we relate harmoniously between the heart and mind after the disconnect from trauma or negative life experiences. I am the owner and founder of Goodbye Tension, a health and wellness clinic in Campbell, California, offering services in person as well as online.
worldwide. Some of my specialties include trauma informed care, integrative body work, which also includes the somatics. I'm also an Ayurvedic practitioner of the last nine years and will be an Ayurvedic doctor as soon as I finish my dissertation, which is in process. And I've also created the adhere process, which I will talk about more in this podcast.
Which helps you digest mental and emotional and physical impressions from any type of trauma or negative life experience. I'm also a survivor of not one, not two, but three narcissistic relationships. First one was with my mother. And then I've been married a few times. So two husbands. So the first thing that I'd like to talk about is.
The, the danger of a narcissistic and empath relationship, but we first need to understand, well, what is a narcissist and a narcissist views themselves in a very higher than Dow place. Many of them may even state that they feel that they are somehow superior to others. I know what I heard often was that my ex spouse felt that he literally was God.
And my mother had some of these qualities as well. They do tend to have some sort of diagnosis, although in my case, all three were undiagnosed. as narcissistic personality disorder. And if you go in and you do your own research on narcissistic personality disorder, they have very similar traits, an inflated sense of ego lack of empathy.
Although I found that at least with these three individuals, they were very good at What seemed like caring and empathy, at least in the beginning. And they have a need to be admired by all. However, deep down, they have deeply rooted insecurities and fears, which are covered up. by the narcissistic traits.
Now, in the 20 years that I've been in practice and my own personal experience, I would say that some of the deepest wounded inner children are sitting there within the narcissist. And so for an empath, an empath is attuned to other's emotions. They're sensitive to feelings of other people. And they also tend to prioritize the needs of others.
Ahead of their own and give without being asked. They feel deeply they feel good about helping others, but what tends to happen is they will lose themselves. And I do believe that this comes from also an inner child wounding that is also looking to be accepted, to be validated. So it's really two sides of the same coin.
The narcissist needs the empath. And the empath needs the narcissist. This is being said from the the wounded parts of ourselves. We obviously don't want this dynamic, but this is what can happen. And so there is an attraction that happens between the two. So I'd also like to state that guilt and shame are pretty huge for the empath, especially me.
When you're trying to get out of the situation, and then once you're out of the situation and you start healing and reflecting, you realize that there were moments where you saw the signs, but a part of you was not capable of being con fully conscious of those signs at the time. Somehow you disregarded it.
And again, I'm also speaking from personal experience. So be careful with the guilt, be careful with the shame. When you don't know something, you just don't know, but once you do know, then you know better. Now, I was not as well versed in the narcissistic empath dynamic. Until coming out of the most recent dynamic.
So a little bit of history, just to give you an understanding of where I've come from. I suffered post traumatic stress disorder from the first 25 years of my life. My parents were not well, every type of abuse, physical, mental, emotional, psychological, and sexual happened as I was growing up. And I felt anything would be better.
Then what was happening at home. So even though I was a straight a student destined to go to medical school I ran away from home and learned how to live homeless Met some amazing Vietnam vets. Of course, there was a lot of relatability because we had PTSD and that's where I met my first narcissistic husband Again, another wounded individual.
And then that had its trauma that came along with it. And at the age of 25, I was able to lead that situation. And then of course, you know, years went on trying to not only heal myself, but wanting desperately to keep the relationship with my parents. Not too long after that, maybe about, I think, seven or eight years, I had to make the hard decision of no longer having a relationship with my parents because of the drug use as well as the narcissistic abuse.
At the same time that I was essentially disowning my mother, which also included my father, someone came into my life, and this is where hindsight is 20 20. If I would have had the wisdom to understand that as I was trying to get rid of this dynamic, I was also left open for that dynamic to come right in, because I did not take the time to heal from that.
And there was this deep mourning, obviously, of this decision that was the best decision to make. of the loss of mother. And so as an empath, I naturally attracted a narcissist. And I will tell you that it took me another, I was with that person for 11 years and very similar qualities, grandiose identity, feeling that they were above others, lots of spiritual ego.
So, and here's this wounded part of me that is needing validation, needing love. And it's very easy to feel guilty or ashamed for going right back into that dynamic. However, I had yet to really establish a solid relationship with myself. And because of that, I fell right into the very same pattern. And this is quite, you know, this is how the statistics work.
If you don't heal that part of yourself, you will naturally find that dynamic again. So I spent 11 years believing what I was being told by my recent partner that my intuition was in fact not valid. Somehow, you know, he felt and proclaimed that he was quote unquote, awake, fully conscious. These are not words at the time that I even fully understood.
And because there was not a lot of confidence within myself. Yet, I completely believed this person. Now I think it's important to recognize that for me personally, I was looking for a savior. I did not realize at this point that I needed to be my own savior. So I am subconsciously looking for someone to save me and here comes someone basically stating that they are in fact the savior because they quote unquote have God consciousness.
And I think this is really a very scary dynamic. This can be very dangerous. I know that there are a lot of spiritual groups that are valid on point. But this dynamic happened, I met this person at a spiritual function. So again, it's not like something that you can just hope for the best and be, you know, at the right place at the right time and meet the right person.
While I do believe that happens, I was at the wrong place at the wrong time, met the wrong person. Then again, I learned so much about myself coming out of that. So, I'm able to see the blessing in it. And depending on where you are in your healing journey, you may or may not be at that point. But, you will get there.
So, let's talk about the adhere process that I created. This has been a process that has been 20 years. Now, being that I guide others towards a better relationship with themselves, you might be asking yourself, well, why didn't you know that? Well, it's much easier to look at other people's problems. And dysfunctions, then it is your own, it takes great courage and it also takes accountability and help from others.
So this process not only has saved me, but also helped many others. And I do believe that it will help anyone who's listening to this podcast now. So I began this talking about the relationship that we have with ourselves. It is the most important relationship that we have because it is what we take into our other relationships.
Now, in hindsight, if I had healed at 15 years old, when I ran away from home, those parts of me, I would not have ended up in a relationship and eventually a marriage with a narcissistic person. But that hadn't happened yet. I was also raising two children on my own by the time I got out of that.
So once the healing began, that's when I really got to know all of the beautiful, beautiful aspects of myself. And I realized that a lot of what the majority of what I heard growing up in my first marriage and my last marriage was. Not true. And that a lot of the qualities that I have are very intimidating to a narcissist.
The strongest energy is authenticity. And the empath is authentic. The narcissist is threatened by authenticity because for them, everything is a projection of self versus the empath who's coming from a place of. Just the authentic self and don't get me wrong. Each of us has Ego that we need to look at keep in check So I don't want this to sound like one is somehow better than the other again It's two sides of the same coin you don't want to be the empath attracting it or being attracted to the narcissist and Ultimately, even though the narcissist may not be aware of it yet.
They too need healing So this adhere process can actually help both the narcissist and the empath So the first thing that we want to do is we want to explore those parts that seem resistant, where we have fear, the parts that we're not given the type of love or care that we needed when we were growing up.
And those parts can be your inner child, your inner teenager, your inner young adult, your inner 30 year old. It's any inner part that is not as resolved, has had a negative experience. Et cetera. So as we explore and the exploring can happen in many different ways. So whether you're a client who I'm seeing online or you're in office, ideally, the idea is to bring you to a very calm state.
And often I will use breathing techniques. I will use different acupressure points using the Sava protocol, which means selfless service. The Sava protocol was actually designed to help. the workers during 9 11 to help them reach a deep state of relaxation so that they could recharge within 15 minutes and get back out there to help others.
So I will relax the body in that way. And of course, for online, we'll just use my voice and breathing techniques and guide the client towards contracting and relaxing different parts of their body. And then once you feel completely relaxed, we start exploring what part of you is showing up. And there's a lot of visualization that can happen.
Sometimes people will find themselves in a safe nature setting. The forest seems to come up a lot or the beach. And that's where we will explore what part of you is there in that dynamic waiting to be discovered. That's the second phase. First, you will discover that part of you, and then when you find that part of you, we need to look at well, what is the dynamic between the you that is observing and the you that you have discovered.
The you that you've discovered, are they facing you, are they at a side profile, or is their back turned to you? Now this is important because it's a part of your psyche and the direction of the discovered part says a lot about the level of awareness between you and that part of you. So some conversation, some play, some sort of interaction will happen.
Depending on the direction of the discovered self to establish an awareness that there's a dialogue that's going to be happening. So, for example, let's say. You, you're observing that discovered part of yourself and it's at a side profile. That means there's some awareness, but not full awareness. And oftentimes I will suggest speaking to that part to see if you can get their attention.
If it's more childlike, maybe bring some toys into the scenario and start playing next to that part of yourself so that there's awareness that, Oh, play is happening and maybe an invitation to come play. just so that part of you will turn around. And once that happens, then you will start a dialogue. Now, we don't want to get lost into whatever the story is from that discovered self.
So this is where you want to get big. You want to get so big that you can see a 360 degree view, not only of the situation, but of your entire life. So I have people get as big as they possibly can so that they can just observe that part of themselves. And then a dialogue happens between that big or higher self and the part of you that you've discovered.
I will ask you to look into that, their eyes so that you can really see and that part of you will be seen. This is huge. We all want to be seen. We all want to be heard. Not all of us were fortunate enough to get that at certain stages of life. And once you realize that you actually have the power within you to give you everything that you need, this is where the real magic happens.
So each experience is different. And because you already know what you didn't get, you ultimately do know what you need or want. And so a beautiful dialogue will happen where you will see, you will hear the discovered part of yourself. So that we can move on to the next phase, which is understanding what healing needs to take place.
And you do ultimately know what you need to heal because you know what you lacked or didn't get. So depending on the scenario, you will come in as we'll use a mother child relationship for this one. You will come in as that universal mother to that discovered part of yourself and give That little one, all that they didn't get, it could be, I love you, you're enough, you're gonna be great, I promise I'm gonna protect you, I promise I will never abandon you.
Now this one is universal. When you're doing this process, because if there's any disconnected part of you, ultimately there was an abandoning that happened. It may not have been intentional because again, like a split will happen a disconnect when something is more than our mind body system can handle.
So we want to apologize to that discovered self for abandoning and then making a strong commitment that you will never leave them again. You will be able to see, you will be able to feel whether or not the discovered part of you is believing what you are telling them. Feeling that sense of security.
There will be an amazing amount of courage and strength that will come out of this conversation and oftentimes, There will be feelings and emotions that happen as well. So there will be the part of you that is feeling relieved and tears may come from that. There's a part of you that will feel maybe sad, like, wow, look at, look at this little one or this less result, less resolved one.
She's so sad. She needed this. She needed that. And as you maintain that higher self or big perspective. You can witness what is being felt without being pulled into and drowning from the experience getting lost in the story, getting lost in the emotions. This is building resilience and awareness within you that you can have an experience.
That is emotional without being identified by it, because you're staying big and yet observing the part of you that is having that experience. This is the most powerful piece to this whole process. I watch people come for a session one way and they leave a completely different person. And then I also get feedback from friends and family.
Who? Who? This person's not even the same person. It's amazing. So as you begin to heal this part that you're having this connection with once the healing is done and you will know because it will feel like everything's been said and there will be a sense of ease and peace within you. So then the next phase is integrate.
Now remember this part has been disconnected. You don't want to integrate a part of yourself that you haven't healed yet that could actually create more psychological problems. You definitely want to integrate with the part that you have healed, though. And so the way that you're going to do that is through contact.
So you basically, the big you and the less, the part of you that you've just healed are going to hold hands. You're going to match your breath with theirs. And you're going to look deeply into their eyes. And you're going to keep doing this until the two of you become one. Now, there are variations that can happen.
I've had situations where that didn't feel like it resonated for the client. And so going out and playing together ring around the rosie, spinning around until the two became one, or walking off into a sunset together until the two became one. The idea is The two are no longer separate. They become one together in a way that feels most authentic to you or to you and the client.
And then the last phase is relate. So as You come out of [00:31:40] that deep, relaxed state where you've had this beautiful journey of exploring, discovering, healing, and integrating. If you come out of that, you want to take it a little slow. Most people feel a shift that they may or may not be able to put words to, and that's okay.
And I always recommend that you take some time Don't be too much in your head about your session, just go and experience life and notice how are you relating with yourself differently. And again, this is going to take some time. The other thing you'll notice is your ability to relate with others will have shifted.
Now, that also means that others around you are going to have to adjust as well. And anybody who's on this healing journey has probably had at least one experience where once you've healed something and you've shifted enough, it may not be in alignment with everyone else around you. And this is where the relationships that are supposed to be in your life will stay and the relationships that are no longer in alignment with that version of you will go.
And this is actually a positive thing, although it is. It's definitely a painful thing. You see the relationships that you had were based on a construct of a disconnected part of you. Well, now that construct is basically restructuring itself because you've now brought in that part of you that was disconnected.
That means there will be more of you available, but you will definitely be different and not everybody can adjust to those changes. So again, be gentle with yourself. The healing journey is... Not for the faint at heart, but it is absolutely the most rewarding experience because you get to know yourself at such a deep and intimate level and the deeper and more intimate that relationship is with yourself, that is then what you get to bring in to your other relationships.
So this process is called adhere, explore, discover, heal, integrate, and relate the process that allows you to be true to yourself. Now I talk about this process as well as my own healing journey in my book, abundance beyond trauma, abundance beyond trauma. I hit the bestseller charts of Amazon six times.
And there's also a workbook, the Abundance Beyond Trauma workbook that comes along with it. You can reach me at goodbyetention. com. And I'd like to also offer a free 15 minute discovery call to anyone who might be interested in finding out more about my services, my book the next steps that they might want to take in their healing journey.
And I'd also like to send any listeners. a free copy of the I'm Triggered Pocket Guide. Now this is great, and this is actually what ended up really helping me towards the end of this last marriage, was understanding that the narcissistic empath relationship, if the narcissist can keep you in a triggered state, and it does seem that a lot of narcissists, narcissists do find Empaths who've had trauma.
So it's easy to manipulate to say, Oh no, this is just your trauma. This is not what's really happening. And then gaslighting your feelings, et cetera, et cetera. So the I'm triggered pocket guide actually helps pull you out of a triggered state so that you can ideally see the situation for what it is. So I'll go through that real quick cause I think that is really helpful, but I'd also like to send that to anyone who's interested.
So if you go to my website. You can click on the contact info, send me your email and I'll get that to you. / So step one will be to stop. Don't make any life decisions when you are in a triggered state. The second step is to catch your breath. So if you notice when you're in a triggered state, normally you are breathing shallow.
Now a shallow breath
usually is a sign of being in an anxious state or being in a triggered state. But if you're in a triggered state and somebody says take a deep breath, it's really hard to do that. So I say catch the breath. For example, if you're feeling like you're hyperventilating or having a hard time breathing, you're going to take two quick inhales and a long exhale and you're going to keep with that.
The two quick inhales go in through the nose and the long exhale of the mouth. You're going to keep with that pace.
So you've stopped, you're not going to make any decisions, and then you're just going to breathe. That is step one. Now if you're, let's say you're in a meeting or interacting with somebody, just excuse yourself. You don't need to explain why. Maybe ask for a timeout, whatever the case is. You can easily find it, go in your car, go sit in a bathroom, et cetera.
Step two is to locate. Now you want to keep your eyes moving because oftentimes freezing can happen or feeling of being stuck. So you're going to locate three objects, preferably that are related to nature or that represent the current time and space. Keeping your eyes moving creates a presence that can reduce the reactive fight, flight or freeze response.
And again, you're going to keep with that. Two short inhales, one long exhale. The third step is going to be identify. Now you need to identify your well wishers or your helpful people. Hopefully you have at least one. If you don't have a well wisher or somebody that you perceive as a safe person, maybe there is somebody that you look up to, whether they know you or not, that you could use as an inspiration.
And hopefully at this point you might be able to take a long, slow, deep inhale.
and slow exhale.
Now those three steps will at least help you to reframe. Then after that you can use the adhere process to work on what was it that triggered you. Now when you're in a narcissistic empath relationship you are probably triggered most of the time. And you're probably feeling very uncertain about your own ability to help yourself.
So these tools, I feel, are something that everyone should have. And that is why it's so important that the I'm Triggered Pocket Guide get out to everybody. regardless of, you know, financial ability, all of that. Like there doesn't need to be a profit from pain here. There needs to be an awareness of healing that needs to happen.
And let's say you're the narcissist that's listening to this, which I hope that you are, because again, it's an inner wounding, which is why the behavior is what it is. There's a deeper part of you that was not acknowledged as a child in some way shape or form.
And in order to deal with it psychologically, you created this grandiose idea, projection of self in order to survive, but it's hurting. It's hurting others. And healing is possible. So whether you're the narcissist or the empath, remember there's a wounded child in there who's looking to be loved and cared for by you.
So if you're interested in working together, please do check out my website, goodbyetention. com. I do believe that healing is possible. It will take great courage and it will take commitment to the changes that will need to be made. The healing is possible. And remember, you are the healer.
[00:41:15] Raven: Thank you so much for joining us on this enlightened episode here, the Empath Rising Podcast. It would mean the world to us and actually add to the success of this podcast if you shared it with a friend, share it on your socials, and tag me at RavenscottShow to continue your journey towards self discovery and healing.
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I This thoughts are feeling endless. Sitting, bump this anxieties infectious, anxious. I feel so defenseless, betrayed, and embarrassed. I hate being open. I hate being broken. I feel like an notion filled up with emotion. Angering of potion. Rub it on like lotion. I can feel it. Soak and reopen. The scars have awoken.
I can't move on until I let go. I feel so lost. Never at home, need to be strong. Every breath held cause I can't move on till I let go. I can't move on till I let go. I feel so lost. Never at home, need to be strong. Every breath held cause I can't move on till I let go.