The person who I was is not the person I am now. Trauma shocks us to evolve — do you agree?
It sucks, and entails major emotional hardship. You feel a sense of mourning, loss, and regret. Why does life have to require pain to shift?
It’s not fair and it feels so painful.
As you may or may not have noticed I have not emailed and produced podcast episodes the last two weeks. I have been hermit-ing. (That’s my line 2 kicking in)
I am feeling those very same feelings. I quickly reacted to a traumatic event where my brother in law threatened me with a lawsuit due to my first book. And if I chose to fight, I would’ve won in court. I just didn’t feel it was necessary. I don’t need them in my story to help you heal.
And then my sister text me that I deserved the threat and I didn’t deserve my family. It was so hurtful, but it was the truth that woke me out of the false hope that our relationship would ever be one of true sisterhood.
In my trauma response I deleted both their numbers and blocked them everywhere. (and any flying monkeys of theirs)
And I think the eclipse and the astrology aspects that followed have allowed that wound to sink in. Just as you have experienced betrayal and trauma I too have recently. And I have been experiencing major shifts because of it.
I am finding that spinning in the trauma survivor circle is not allowing me to move forward into my next right step and into my bliss.
And because of that, I didn’t email last week or make any new podcasts since that Full Moon. I released the pain, the story, my ego’s victimhood and all of sudden I did not feel an urge to make more content that would also keep you in that victim cycle.
I’ve had to regroup and find direction from Spirit.
The whole goal of my podcast and book was to empower you out of that. But the irony is, it was still keeping me in mine. Having to be a guest and share my story about my ex over and over again was really unappealing to me.
And I am now trying to find the next right step and clarity in this new identity. I don’t want to make content just for the algorithm or to address the pain you may be experiencing. Even though that may be empathetic and exactly what you want. I don’t want to keep reassuring my ego, and your ego that it’s ok to stay a victim.
We are survivors, that much is true. But can we put the past behind us? Release our grudges and let go of the people who do not need to be in our lives anymore?
I just finished an amazing show on Netflix, The Tourist. And the main character gets in an accident and has amnesia. He can’t remember anything. It made me think, what if I don’t remember what happened to me. Could I have more compassion or love for that person and a fresh start?
Could I be more brave, more confident to step into what I desire to manifest easier?
or do I bring my unconscious patterns and fears still into it?
I think a little of both.
And the other people will bring their same patterns to the relationship, so that would reveal itself pretty quickly again with my unbiased opinion of having amnesia and not making excuses for them.
And it’s important to transmute as much fear and subconscious patterns as possible to the Universe through journal and burning.
AND also move into your next bliss with confidence and passion all over again. No matter if you fail or not, you will learn something.
As I embrace my incarnation cross and Sun sign of Confusion, that means I embrace I won’t know anything about anything. Only the next right step in front of me. I am embracing living in a perpetual fog. Which for me as a Virgo drives me insane. But –
How do I know it’s the right step?
I won’t, I just have to have faith and try.
I get it. As a survivor, the last thing you want to do is “have faith”. Especially those of us who also experienced toxic Christianity or religion.
But I think faith is different than what we were taught. It’s not faith in a toxic idea or someone who is gaslighting you. It’s faith in yourself.
Abuse and confusion conditions you to trust the other person so they can control you.
But to have faith in yourself, all on your own, with no other influences. That is true self sufficiency. And that, inside yourself, is where you are going to find your power, your purpose, and your destiny.
Do you know your Sun Gate in your Human Design chart intimately? I advise you start with that. You can learn all about it in my newest book Empath’s Guide to Rising Strong: Human Design Guidebook.
Control much? Ya that’s me. Today the Sun in Taurus is squaring Pluto in Aquarius. Make space to let the magic in.
I have been doing this podcasting thing as “I should”. I have been successful, yet I’ve hit a ceiling. I’ve been attacked because of it, I’ve lost time working on my day job because of it, and my ego has had a field day trying to control the vanity numbers. And it’s made me addicted to social media and the number of followers and likes I get.
But I know I’ve helped so many more people than the negative whistle blowers that have tried to attack me.
So my new focus will be bringing you one episode a week that is Spirit driven. Channeled from intuition, and not to cause fear, victimhood, or trauma bonding. I may not be as consistent as I “should”. But I won’t leave you abandoned.
I’m leaning into my femininity instead of the constant pushing of the toxic masculinity of the industry. I will channel what offerings to serve you with. And maybe that is just a quarterly workshop. (that’s my intuition coming through and also asking you.)
My intuition is asking:
Would you need a safe space that you can come get coaching, healing, and empowerment quarterly from a live virtual workshop teaching on a themed topic? The first one being “How to Step out of the Victim Cycle.”
Empath & The Narcissist Podcast Healing with Human Design
Providing Empaths, who are abused by the Narcissist with awareness, and empower their healing from Narcissist abuse to…
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Tune in to the podcast this week. I did post an episode of a wonderful guest.
If you need help understanding your unique Energy of you, and your gifts you bring to this World. Book your Human Design reading at https://ravenscott.show/shop
I also added some new Merch before I went into hermit mode.
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Written by Raven Scott
Author of Empath & Narcissist Healing Guide and Podcaster. I write for Empaths on Spiritual growth and mental topics for you to live life free ✨❤️
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