Navigating the Aftermath of Narcissistic Abuse: 4 Peculiar Traits of Empaths and Narc Abuse Survivors.
Surviving Narcissistic abuse is an arduous journey that leaves lasting imprints on your psyche.
Victims of Narcissistic abuse often develop unique coping mechanisms and behaviors as a result of the trauma they endured. In this blog, we’ll explore four peculiar behaviors exhibited by Narcissistic abuse survivors that may seem unusual to those unfamiliar with the intricacies of their experiences.
And it’ll you’re like me, they will be all too familiar.
1. Hypervigilant about Red Flags:
In the latest podcast episode on the Empath Rising podcast, I shared some stories about how I was calling everyone a Narcissist, including my current husband when we were in a rough patch.
After escaping the clutches of a Narcissistic relationship, survivors become hypersensitive to potential signs of toxicity in future connections. The trauma you endured has heightened your awareness of manipulative behaviors, and you develop an almost instinctive ability to detect red flags in people’s actions and words.
This hypervigilance, while a survival mechanism, can sometimes lead survivors to perceive danger where there may be none, impacting their ability to trust others.
Luckily we found a couples boot camp that had both of us work on our own traumas, past and we started on a journey of growing in love and stronger individually and together.
But if I just stuck with my over labeling of he was a Narcissist then we would not have experienced the joys and security of our love.
Narcissistic abuse survivors often find solace in solitude as a means of self-protection. The constant gaslighting and manipulation during an abusive relationship can erode your sense of self and reality.
To regain control and rebuild their shattered identity, survivors may choose to isolate themselves from others. While this self-imposed isolation serves as a protective measure, it can also hinder the healing process, making it essential for survivors to find a balance between self-reflection and social connection.
Trusting myself to determine who was a healthy person versus a toxic person was the hardest part for me. With my open will center I easily am influenced by someone’s influence of their agenda.Raven Scott Nguyen
Discernment was my goal to focus on for many years in order to grow this emotional intelligence. It is like going to the emotional gym.
Take your time getting to know people. Keep them on your outer circle, don’t disclose intimate information too soon, and always listen to your intuition.
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Human Design Inner Authority
In Human Design there are five ways each of us specifically have to listen to our intuition.
It’s called Inner Authority. :
The majority have emotional inner authority. When you have a defined Solar Plexus, this is your way of feeling through the whole emotional inner wave, high, middle, low, middle, to make a decision and know it’s right for you. Never commit on impulse right away.
The next group have Sacral Inner Authority. This is the listen to your gut and the noise your voice is making about something. Ask yourself yes or no questions to determine if it is a good idea for you, by listening to how your gut feels.
Splenic authority is an instant knowing and feeling. Don’t second guess yourself.
Ego and Projected are similar where you must talk it out with a trusted person to hear your right decision mirrors back at you.
You can learn more about Inner Authority HERE.
3. Issues with Boundaries:
Navigating boundaries becomes a complex task for survivors of Narcissistic abuse.
I know! I was all over the place with zero boundaries and ready to live after leaving that control freak. And then to watch too many when I realized that I experienced abuse form a Narcissist. Which I discovered in therapy.Raven Scott Nguyen
In the abusive relationship, boundaries were often violated, and personal space was invaded. As a result, you may struggle to establish and maintain healthy boundaries in subsequent relationships.
You may swing between being overly guarded, fearing vulnerability, or being excessively accommodating, fearing conflict. Recognizing and addressing these challenges is crucial for you to cultivate healthy relationships moving forward.
When I met my husband now just two weeks after I left the Narcissist, I dove headlong into that relationship. I was so naive to the fact of Narcissism, I thought that was just an isolated incident. Then I discovered this information and I told him we needed to reboot. Start over, stop touching each other until we were married.Raven Scott Nguyen
4. Jumping into Relationships Fast for Love and Validation:
Seeking love and validation, survivors may rush into new relationships in an attempt to fill the emotional void left by the narcissistic abuser. Desperate for reassurance and affirmation, survivors may overlook potential red flags and ignore their own emotional needs.
It’s important for you to take the time to heal, rediscover your self-worth, and develop a strong sense of identity before entering into new relationships.
The aftermath of Narcissistic abuse is a complex landscape where survivors navigate the challenges of rebuilding their lives.
The behaviors mentioned above, while peculiar to some, are adaptive responses to the trauma endured and far more common than outsiders think.
That’s why I love human design.
It helps you find yourself. It is your soul blueprint.Raven Scott Nguyen
For example, I have an open will center. Now I know that I need to be vigilant about who’s agenda I’m following. Versus how many red flags this person has and labeling them a Narcissist.
The point is not what they are as a label. The point is I need to do is right for myself. And some people’s agenda will be align d with mine and others will not have my best interest in mind.
Your open centers are the easiest and most vulnerable to be conditioned unconsciously. Once you are aware you now have an area for emotional and spiritual growth in that center. And as you work you will be wise about this particular area. Work your discernment like you work your body at the gym.
Learn more about Human Design types here.
What you feel you’re amplifying from others, what you’re being trained or conditioned by the outside sources into you. Is the weakness, however you are not stuck with this lack of “Muscle”.
Here are each centers areas for your growth.:
- Open Will Center is the agenda.
- The Open Root Center is the timing to prove yourself worthy.
- The solar plexus is the emotional center where you are amplifying and feeling another person’s emotion.
- The sacral center is the life force, it’s the doing energy. If you have that open sometimes you feel like you’re not enough if you have that open sacral and you have to do so much, you overdo it just to prove that you can do it just like everyone else.
- And then you have that spleen, the open spleen, is the survival and your immune system. You feel really physically ill from being with a narcissist. This is something that can happen. Or you’re just very sensitive to feeling unsafe, so you stay with a narcissist because it’s comfort. It’s what you know. It’s “safe.”
So all of these things really factor in to how we act crazy after being a survivor of Narcissistic abuse.
It’s important is to find a source for education and information to inform you on how you can now gain awareness, tune into yourself, heal, and move forward strong and confident, just as I have found my way to do so.
If you want personal help in gaining clarity, your authentic power back, and healing to be rid of the Narcissist for good, join our Empath community. You’ll receive weekly inspiration and strategies to heal from Narc Abuse and understand Your Unique Human Design Energy Blueprint.
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Understanding these behaviors is crucial for supporting survivors on their journey to healing and empowering them to reclaim their lives. It is through empathy, patience, and validation that survivors can gradually overcome the aftermath of narcissistic abuse and build fulfilling, healthy connections in the future.
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