Can Narcissists Change?

Answering your questions like this and more – including Human Design – every Friday in the Empath Spiritual Healing Support Facebook Group

Drop more q’s below for me to answer next week:

Questions Answered:

1. Can the Narcissist change? 2:00

2. What is Human Design? 8:00

3. What do the numbers in my Human Design Profile mean? 13:00

4. Can Narcissists Love? 21:00

5. What is your Inner Authority? 26:00

6. What do Narcissists hate? 32:00


Healing from Narcissistic Abuse Q&A with Human Design

Raven: Hello, dear Empaths, how are you today? We are gonna be answering your questions about narcissists, healing from narcissists and human design. If you are not in the Facebook group and you’re listening on the podcast to the replay of this q and a, Join us live in the Empath Healing Support community. The link will be in the show notes. It’s technically called empath Spiritual Healing Support. And I’ll Answer a few that have come in through the emails and the forms that you can find on the homepage on the Raven for, answering these questions for you. So a few of you submitted them, so I’ll sh answer them here and while I wait for you to drop in your live cues so that I can answer them, remember, I’m a generator so I need something to respond to for my energy to flow.

So I will answer and respond to the questions that came in. And yes, when you arrive, say hello. Who are you, where are you from? And we’ll get going.

Okay? So the first question, we’ll put this up here and we’ll put this up here. So the first question is, can narcissists change? I think this question comes up a lot because we have invested a lot of energy into this relationship with a narcissist. , we have maybe high hopes for it, and this can be any relationship you can invest and feel attached to a family relationship.

My case, which I completely understand, is someone close to me, , it doesn’t matter. It can be a relationship where you’re romantically. . Long story short, I’m trying to put something up and talk, and I’m not a multitasker because I’m not a man gen. Okay? Focus, raven, focus narcissists can change.

I’m gonna say yes, but no. The first answer is no, only because it requires a boatload of energy and willingness for them to change. And the problem with N P D is they think they’re fine. , they don’t need to change. They think that their unhealthy coping mechanisms and putting everyone else down around them is the solution to their pain and problems.

So they more than likely do not want to change. It’s very scary. , Leon Walker talked about in one of our previous podcast episodes that he would have not become conscious and gone to therapy about his narcissist diagnosis. If it weren’t for the money he was going to receive for his retirement, he just wouldn’t have done it like it felt like dying to him, going into therapy and talking through this.

And it’s not like depression where you can take a pill. Narcissism is something that’s a personality disorder. It is not a mental or a chemical disorder. And so the only way that someone. Raise their elevation of consciousness. Be willing to change is through the mind and through talking. And as we all know, when we get triggered, it’s really hard to face our shadows.

It’s hard to face our triggers, and we are people who want to change and are willing to go into the fire to. Brighter. So those people, they just do not have the tools and capacity to change because they don’t wanna do the hard work. They don’t wanna feel like they’re dying emotionally by going to therapy or reading the books or becoming more conscious or taking responsibility.

These are all self-development mental health exercises that you need to do. , even for yourself, if you have some type of selfish or shadowy type traits, sometimes I call them narcissistic traits. They’re, they’re from our childhood, they’re natural, and then as we grow up, we’re supposed to mature out of these selfish, childlike behaviors, right?

The, the world does not revolve around us as we mature and we become members in society. But narcissists, they’re, they’re frozen in time. Emotionally, they are still that child where the world revolves around them. And so they’re not gonna change because that would take a lot of work and all of their.

Gaslighting and manipulation like it. It works for the most part, and then they just keep going from one person to the next person, just fooling them. So to answer the question, can narcissist change? I would say a no. With a caveat that it would require a huge amount of discomfort that they could possibly change, which is a very small percentage.

It’s not require you being with them. They cannot be in their comfort zone. They cannot have someone loving them and supporting. Unfortunately they have to go through pain to learn their lessons and so don’t stay with them cuz you think that they can change when they have to be willing to change. And they’ve shown you so far that they don’t wanna change.

So I hope that answers that question and helps you if you’ve arrived here live. Drop your comments below and your questions. Let me know if you, what your question is. If you wanna talk about human design or narcissist healing, I’m here for you. We’re gonna answer both of those. So I do see a comment.

Yeah. Glad to catch you. Thank you for being here. I see your comment through Streamy Yard, so I don’t know who this is to call out your beautiful name, and for some reason it’s not popping up on, oh, there, it’s, oh, Judy. Hi, Judy. Okay. Gotta get my systems going. Yeah, drop your questions. Anything about human design or, narcissist healing below, or spiritual paths, spiritual healing, anything like, Okay.

Human design. Yeah. Anything particular about human design, or should I just do a basic, overview of what human design is? Let me know that as well. I do have some questions here that I can kind of jam on about human design. I’m gonna hide this guy. We could talk about, What do the numbers in the profile mean?

In my human design chart? Yes. Basic to start. Okay, cool. So let me just do the basics and then we’ll get to the question about the numbers. Okay. So human design is a modern. . It’s like astrology. It’s a modern system. It was downloaded and inspired by a manifestor. His name is Ra Uru who, and he pulled all these different, it’s kinda like he channeled and downloaded them from source.

He was inspired and then he had a huge team of other people helping him organize it and bring it all together. So this happened in 1984. And what happened? It’s a combination, right? There’s some modern, and then there’s a combination of ancient systems. So we have the combined in the human design, it is eing, which is kind of like the jean keys, but it’s a Chinese, Asian, type of study.

The Cabala, which is the tree of life. It also involves the chakra system. So all of those shapes on the human design chart are symbolizing chak. It also combines astrology, so all your numbers are connected and related to a planet and in your astrology chart, and I’m doing a really cool series every Zodiac season.

In the Empath Healing membership, we’re doing a video and going through each Zodiac signs gates, which is kind of fun to do an experiment. So you can dive into that over on the website Rave and in the Empath Healing membership. And so we’ve got the astrology and then the new part of it is the Science of Neutrinos.

So these are like teeny tiny particles. Are like massless and they zoom in from, they’re caused from fusion. So out and outer space there is like a big, the gas of energies, right? The suns. And so it takes the particles they travel through, they pass by, let’s say for instance, Jupiter, and then it passes to Earth and it goes into.

The earth, , all the different bodies that were born at that time and that timestamp. So this is kind of like the explanation of how your astrology chart works as well, and why Jupiter in this Zodiac affects you with this energy. It’s the same thing. So there’s, and they theorized that back in 1984, but it wasn’t proven science until years later in like the 1990.

So it combines that concept as well of the science of neutrinos. So you get all that and then you’re like, wow, that’s great. That’s a lot of stuff, but what does that even mean? And so what that means is you can see like your energetic blueprint, the map of who you are as a soul and kind of like why you’re here.

What are your themes? What are your life lessons like, what is your soul? , plan, lesson plan to learn in this life. What are areas of growth that you have? What are, we wouldn’t call them weaknesses, but it’s like where are those open windows that need to be closed off, like to, let’s say scams and narcissists and the evil entities right in the world.

And so it gives you all of this information, like a roadmap in your chart. It gives you. Similar to like what your North node does, it gives you your main theme and destiny. It gives you what you’re here to talk about. It, helps you in not proving yourself or proving yourself. Like it’s a huge self developmental roadmap.

That’s kind of how I would describe it, and I love it. It really helped bring to light who I was and where I. Being vulnerable to the wolves and sheep’s clothing out here in the world. And so I think that’s why it links so beautifully to healing from bad people, narcissists, , toxic people because it, it gives you exactly like where you need to put your guard up and it shows you exactly where they are, , energetically leaking into your aura.

And once that, then exactly where to put up your boundaries, which I think. . Really cool. Very fascinating. So let me know if you have any questions from what I just said. I know I said a lot about what human design is, how it was downloaded, what’s all involved and included. And if you’re new here, you wanna ask any questions about how to heal from narcissists, anything about narcissists or toxic relationships, you can drop your comment below.

Thank you for the hearts that’s resonating, helping me know that what I’m saying is, making sense to you, , and you’re not lost going, what is this crazy lady saying? We can ping through. Another question I got that came in. What do, do the numbers in your profile, so when you pull up your chart, there are these numbers.

there’s like two numbers. It’s called profile and then slash like, what do these mean? So these are like your main personality traits and there are six different lines of the profile, and they’re like different energies. So the first one is you have the investigator. If you have line one in your chart out of the two, this means that you have.

Just a curious questioning knowledge about everything. Like you have to research everything in depth. Like you gotta know everything about everything and you love your quest of knowledge. If you are aligned too, you are a hermit. I’m challenging myself with the knowledge cuz I’m like panicking about the other ones.

I’m just gonna get through. Okay, so line two is a her. Line two is you are a introvert. You need to have rest and recuperation and reading books and studying all by yourself. Kind of like just retreating to find the wisdom going off in nature. You love nature being connected to it. It really lights you up and nurtures you, and you’re a lover of all things, plants and knowledge as well.

If you are a line three, then you are, wait, I have to look it up. Let me go back to the ones I know. Cause I know I’m live. Oh, here we go. Line three. You are a martyr. Line three. What that means is that you on the good side, right? Martyr’s kind of a negative word, but on the good side you are. Li like you live experience and you share your experience with the world.

You are hands-on. You are like, I’ve been there, done that, and this is what I learned from it. Like that’s the good wisdom part of it. And then that kind of martyred, right? The shadow side of it is that you can be very resentful and, retreat into yourself and not want to open up to other people. and you, you are the martyr.

Like you’re always complaining about how this person did you wrong or that person did you wrong. So, and each one of these themes and personality traits can have that light side and dark side. So the martyr doesn’t mean that you’re just like this victim. It just actually on the good side, it shows that you lived experience, you live life and.

You can share it with the world, you can share it to those who are ready to listen, so they don’t have to go through that pain or they go through the pain. Shorter line four is the opportunist. If you have line four somewhere in your chart, as far as the profile either of the two numbers, you see opportunities everywhere.

You see business ideas and events and relationships and partnerships and all this. In front of you. Like the world is the marketplace. The world is the, it’s like the entrepreneur’s mindset, the dream. And you see, you, you bring people together, like your talent is gathering people together. If it’s, , two people, a whole group bringing them together to accomplish something, to make money, to bring in resources, to do something.

So the opportunist. Always thinking of the next, , best thing to bring in the resources. Line five is the heretic. Now I need to study this, to be honest, more line five. But I think it’s very similar to me in my mind as the martyr. , it has that, uniqueness. It reminds me of you have a different way of looking at life than the normal, like, The community at large, right?

You have a deeper knowledge, you see things differently, and people are kind of afraid of that. They don’t like that because it’s different and scary, and I don’t know what this person’s talking about, but you carry a deep wisdom for evolution, for raising the consciousness of the world. It’s just a matter of using your strategy.

And finding the right timing to deliver that very peculiar message that we need to hear. And line six is the role model. The role model is the one who takes charge in every situation. Who is the leader? You take too much responsibility onto yourself. You take a lot of responsibility on just because you naturally can.

Like you have the energy and you have the know-how and the willpower. . But you also feel burdened by that. So make sure that you’re not taking every single leadership role that you go into in groups and allow others to lead. And just you being you and doing what you love and being who you are will inspire others.

To be the best that they can be and to be who they are. And that’s the true beauty of the role model. So those are all the profiles in the human design chart, and you’ll have a combination. So there’s all these different forms of combinations. You could be 1, 3, 3, 5, 2, 6, 2 4, and so on, so forth. So it’s really beautiful to.

How you are in the combination. One more example is A two six is the hermit role model. So that kind of just shows you right there. You are an extrovert, you’re a leader as well as an introvert. You need to retreat and take time for yourself and to study and not put that out in the public yet. So you have this Omni vert type of personality as a two six.

That’s just a example. Hello, I’ve seen you all joining. Hey, Debbie. Hey, Judy. And there’s one other person. Drop a comment below so I can give you a shout out and say hello. Drop your questions below about human design or narcissist healing. The feedback I got last week was that you wanted to me to answer questions about narcissists, so I have that in the bag too.

I have some questions already submitted. that we talked about. The first question I did answer at the beginning of this live, which you can go back and listen to the replay, is, can’t narcissist change? Pretty much the answer was no. And so good to see you here. Good. The next one was, we talked about what is human design and then what are the profile numbers.

Hey, Audra, Judy, you’re so great. You must be an opportunist. I wonder what your, your profile lines are in yours. See, this is a perfect example. If she has a four line, Judy is like, Hey there. She’s shouting out to everybody because she just loves to bring people together. And that’s a classic opportunist profile.

If that’s, if you have that, let’s be curious to. All right. The next one that I have is can narcissist love and definitely drop your questions down below. I’m just kind of going off of what people have submitted. Can narcissist love? This is an interesting question. They can certainly love themselves, due to trauma in their past.

They have a very limited scope of true love. They cannot love unconditionally. They cannot love with a pure heart. They can only love very limitedly only conditionally. And. With, motives, unpure motives, they’re always trying to get something out of a situation because they’ve been damaged and they put up a giant block around their heart.

They cannot, they cannot really love with the walls down, so therefore they can’t, cannot be vulnerable. And in a real love relationship that is healthy, you have to have vulnerability. So in essence, the narcissists can’t truly love. They, they love at a arms length. They love at a distance, but more importantly, they love themselves.

They will always put their self-interest ahead of yours, which is not, again, true love. That is not the essence of soul love from divine. Now we don’t have to martyr ourselves and give all of our time and all our resources to truly love, right? We fill our cups up and then it overflows and we can love and give to others cuz we know that that giving is going to receive and double back to us.

The narcissist does not have this capability of understanding this. They only, they’re in this constant lack mindset. . And if they give, then they will not receive back. Right. It’ll be taken from them. They’ll be empty and they won’t have anything. Right. They’re always in lack. So showing vulnerability is so needed.

Yeah. And it’s needed more. The narcissist cannot be due to whatever’s stuck in their head in this, personality disorder. So. The short of the answer is no. I just had someone else ask me a question about, , what is it? What is it? When they show you love and they’re so good to you outside, like in public, and everyone sees that they’re great and even on social media, they’re really good to you.

And then that drops, like life gets boring. The real like humdrum part of life at home goes on. and that goes away, it disappears. And then they’re kind of mean to you. Like they’re, they disregard you and yeah, it just, they put you down or they invalidate you or they ignore you, like you’re just not there.

And it’s because the nurse sees everything as transactional. Like it sees people even as a commodity because they just can’t. Have empathy. Like they don’t experience empathy. So it’s a really, really tricky thing because yes, they’re humans. Yes they have a heart, but that heart is so locked up, that heart is, has a huge ice wall around it or a huge iron wall around it.

And just like the answer before can narcissist change it is the same thing as the love. It’s, it takes a huge amount of work like, So, especially if they’re older, what? Whatever it is, right? It takes, what is that one phrase? You say something negative and it takes 10. You should say like 10 or more positive things to erase the negative.

That’s the same thing when you’re rewriting subconscious programming, which is what’s happening in the narcissist mind. It takes like 10 times the amount of. for all the years that they’ve been doing this behavior. So let’s say they’re 50 years old, well that means that it’s gonna take 50 times, 10 is a 500.

So 500 more years for that to fully like recoup and be positive and be totally transformed. So what I’m trying to say is it, it’s really highly unlikely and I’m very more so like impossible. to really keep your hopes up that they’re gonna love you and change. Yeah. It’s just,

it’s just not gonna happen, and it’s not gonna happen with you keeping them comfortable, , because if they’re comfortable, that’s human nature. They’re lazy, they’re human Nature is like the path of least resistance. So if they’re comfortable and they have what they want, why would they wanna change? Anyways, off the topic of Narcis.

Any other questions about human design?

I have one here that came in is what is your inner authority? What does that mean? Your inner authority in your human design chart is most commonly emotional. You could also have a stake roll, and so there’s these different kinds. The spleen. What it is, is it is your guide on how to make the next right step, how to make the best next decision.

So if you’re struggling with not knowing how to trust your intuition, following your inner authority is the best way to start strengthening your intuition and trusting yourself that , like you’re gonna make the right next, decision. Small or big, and I always say practice with the small ones first, so that way you can build up that muscle.

And then when it comes to really big decisions like divorce, breakups, moving, having a child, getting married, new job, you can use your inner authority confidently cuz you’ve built up that trust and know that this is the right way. My energy needs to. For example, the most common inner authority is emotional, emotional authorities, types, people.

You have a defined emotional solar plexus center in the first place. So it has this constant cycle of happy, middle, low, sad, or angry, middle neutral, and then happy again. So it’s kind of like a clock or a tide. . And if you have that emotional cycle, your emotions can take over. What might need to really happen?

So small example would be someone invites you out to dinner and you’re like, yay, hooray. I say yes right away. So you say, yes. You’re so excited. You’re, they. Maybe they asked you when you’re up in your up cycle of your emotional, cycle. and then later on when it gets to, to a few hours later, you find yourself at the bottom of your emotional cycle and you’re like, I don’t know about this.

I don’t wanna go out. I just wanna hunker down and watch TV in my pajamas. And then you get to the neutral point of your emotional cycle again, and you’re like, yeah, I still really don’t feel like going out. I definitely wanna hang out and hunger down in my pajama. However you’ve said yes to somebody, and then now this whole like social guilt thing comes on, you’re like, well, I said yes, and so I, I’m flaky and I’m a bad person if I pull back and say, I don’t wanna go.

And so really the best way to make decisions, even small ones like that, is to weight your emotional cycle. Of course, that’s a small one. You could say, I’m just not feeling good. I’m gonna hang out with my PJs. Invite the friend over if they want. If you’re cool with. Or just say, I’m gonna, let’s hang out another day and like figure out another day.

But when it comes to big decisions, write a new job and you’re so excited, and then you get hooked and you sign a contract and you can’t retract, you can’t get outta that contract after you’ve gone through your whole emotional cycle. That’s where it really. Sucks , like you really go, oh shit, I really regret this.

I should not have said yes to this. So when you have the emotional authority, wait that whole cycle so you can really feel confident in the next right step and flowing with your, , with your social stuff and your business and everything with ease. If you have a sacral, meaning your sacl is defined, your emotional center is white.

Your pure authority. It’ll say like pure a authority or SAC authority. That’s the other majority of people, is then you need to make decisions with your gut. Your intuition is in your gut, so you need to ask yourself yes or no questions. Everything’s a yes or no, because that is what the gut sound makes.

So start with the small and build up. Build up to the. So start practicing and saying, do I want chicken for dinner? , and then you can hear yourself from your gut, like feel it and go, Hmm, that’s a maybe or a, mm-hmm. . Yes, that’s a yes. You like, allow that sound to come up, or a, mm-hmm. Nope, not gonna have chicken.

So those humming sounds are key to bringing out the power of your decision making if you’re a sacral authority now with the spleen authority. It is, there’s a few other ones, but the spleen is the next third common, not as common. It’s immediate. Like right away you have this sixth sense and if you wait and you hum and you ha, then you’ll make the wrong one because the right decision was immediately in that moment.

So that’s something that’s pretty unique to human design, cuz most, all the time we have to wait and we have to be patient. But if you have a spleen authority, you can. Boom. Yes, I agree to that. So that is the authority. Let’s see. Any other questions that come in? You’re all still here hanging out. We’ve got a few more minutes here in the q and A.

We did human design basics. We did What is your inner authority? We did the profiles and. I guess we could close with this last one unless anyone else drops in a comment, below in the comments. I have one other one that came in and it is back to narcissism. I, I’m pinging back and forth on you guys today.

What do narcissists hate? . Yeah, I like this one because it kind of helps you develop your strategy on how to overcome the narcissist tactics. They hate not being able to control you. They hate, that’s probably the biggest one. I always say. There’s so many more examples of how they not control you, but they hate it when you have no emotional investment in.

Their game in their tactic. They hate it when you don’t talk to them. They hate it when you ignore them. I mean, my favorite is when you don’t respond to their texts and they give you like 50 or 20 text messages and they’re like, I know you’re here. I know you’re reading this. I know. No, no. And they just keep spewing, spewing.

They hate being ignored. Remember, it’s like that child throwing a temper tantrum and needing that validation and attention. So if you feed the beast, it will get bigger and stronger. If you ignore it, it will lash out in the moment cuz they hate it, but it will dissipate and it’ll go away cuz they know that you were not their fuel anymore.

They talk a lot about supply and when we talk about narcissists, and I would say, I guess the impasse would be the supply or like, oh, he’s moved on to his new supply, or she’s moved on to her new supply. It’s only because they’re seeing people in relationships as a commodity and because they don’t have self-love inside themselves, self-worth the supply.

The other person is giving them the compliments and the attention, validating their self-worth. So that’s kind of why it’s called a supply. And plus the control, like I said, is the biggest one. So whomever they can control is like a supply for control. And I heard a narcissist talk about his, raw motivations on Instagram.

He talked about how for him, he’s a, he’s a conscious narcissist, so he is going to therapy, and there’s a handful of them there. They’re very exceptional. Most narcissists are not conscious. . He talked about it being like a drug, like he got a high off of hurting the other person or with his words being able to control their emotions.

The control is the biggest key factor because maybe in their childhood they felt out of control and that’s really how they felt like they can take their controlled back and survive in life. , maybe it’s, they just, people do like control. Maybe they just like control cuz they could get what they.

So nar in the, , in conclusion to this whole rant about do narcis, what do narcissists hate? They hate not being able to control you. So be mindful and be careful once you start gaining your power back that possibly once they stop being able to control you with their words, they will elevate and start to try and control you with their physical actions, right?

Starting to physically abuse you. Grab you, push you, hold, you, hit you. So be very mindful and careful about your exit strategy if that does start to arise. And the best thing is just emotionally disengage in any of those conversations. Just pretend you’re going along with it and then just do what you do.

, get sign your lease, get your exit plan, start getting a job, do the things you need to do quietly in the back. So that you can gain your life back and you can gain your control back.

So that would be my answer for that. My dear Empaths.

Oh, so we’re at 35. It’s about the time I was planning to be on here. I’m so grateful for you being here. Give me a like or a comment that, that was helpful and let me know what you like to learn more about in next Friday’s q and a. Should I dive deeper into human design? Continue with my doing both.

Learning about how to heal from narcissist. Let me know when the comments below. I am a generator. I need something to respond to to help my energy flow.

If you are listening to the podcast, go ahead and submit your questions to be answered on the podcast. At the Raven There is a form that is there, I think on any blog page as well. There’s a title, little tab that says, submit your questions to be answered, and I look forward to answering your questions.

You’re welcome, Debbie. Thank you so much. Okay, good. I’m glad. It was interesting. And, let me know if you need your chart pulled up. I can pull that up for you and email it to you for free. Yeah, I mean, human design’s amazing. It really helps us. It’s, it is such a guide, a guide post for our energies.

You’re welcome. You’re welcome. Thank you for joining and being here. Have a great rest of your Friday evening. Have fun self-care. Go on a date, take yourself on a date or. Find something cute to wear. It’s Friday. It’s the Venus Day. Love, beauty, money. So enjoy and we’ll see you in the group here for ah, seeing all your comments on the post and for next Friday’s q and a.

Published by Raven Scott

Raven Scott is an Empathic Spiritual Healer, Intl. Author, Podcaster, and Narc Abuse Soul Healing Coach in her Empath Healing Membership Community with the use of somatic healing exercises, Moon Rituals, Tarot, and Astrology & Human Design Reading.

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