“Don’t let the past trauma, lies, and abuse define your life!Raven Scott S5 Ep28
“When it comes to the story of your life. Let NO ONE else hold the pen.”
Table of Contents
Discover the 10 essential steps to help you overcome pain from narcissistic abuse and live free of the narcissist. Get started on your healing journey now!
Live Narc Free and gain your power back
How to overcome pain from narcissistic abuse and live free of the narcissist.
Key Moments of this episode:
- Full moon release
- Activate your Discernment in your Life.
- Raise the bar of Expectations
- Create personal boundaries
- How to be assertive
- The Path to Freedom
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28. How to Be Free of A Narcissist and Overcome the Pain of Abuse
Raven: Welcome to the Empath and the Narcissist podcast, where you regain your sparkle back after narcissistic abuse. I am your host Raven Scott,
a trauma informed spiritual mentor, certified meditation teacher, and human design expert. I’m empowering empaths three times a week in recovery and healing from narcissistic abuse, childhood trauma through human design, self-care, mindfulness advice, and expert interviews. This is season five Episode 28.
10 ways to overcome the pain of your past from narcissistic abuse and live narc free.
This is part of me 10 day. Narc free living. Audio series.
I wanted to give you a preview of what is inside this free audio series. You could call it an audio book of some sorts. You can take one audio lesson day by day. Or binge the whole thing on one day, or you could also look at it as audio coaching. So however it is, that’s why I call it a series because I don’t exactly know how to label it.
When you get for free, when you go and you sign up and you get, this is you download a workbook that I’ve created for you to go through all the exercises on how to overcome the pain. Just as I have. . To live narc free. Now I can’t say 100% they’re out of my life, but for sure when they pop up, I know how to block them out real quickly or to put up a boundary and block out that energy real quickly. So this gives you hope and a goal to work towards that. It is possible to free yourself from their toxic cycle.
It is possible to emerge victorious. To shift from survivor to thriver. Just see me as a witness that I have done it. I’m just a normal human being. Like you. I have been in the trenches. I have almost committed suicide in the deepest darkest part of my relationship , in the abuse that I was experiencing. I became an alcoholic. I couldn’t digest food anymore. Like my body was breaking down and I was only 20. Like I was only in my twenties. Then I left around my Saturn returned when I was 28.
So. I have been there. I know the pain you’re experiencing. I understand. That you want justice. I understand that it’s not fair. I also completely 100% agree. That they need to be called out on their bad behavior. And all of this is part of your healing process. The trick is to be able to release it and heal versus hold on tight and get stuck in now your own Whirlpool of.
Retribution and justice and vengeance. And this. 10 day series that I have available for you to sign up for free. It takes you through that to get you out of that Whirlpool of stuckness. So the first step. In breaking free and overcoming the pain of your past is to release the pain. And I guide you through a beautiful, full moon release ritual. You can do this anytime. You don’t have to wait for a full moon, you can do it when you first download it. And then when the full moon comes again,
You can do this ritual again. And again, and again, and again, just to release all the layers of. This disappointment. All the layers of betrayal. Of. Losing. You are grieving. You have lost somebody you love. You’re grieving. You have lost. The idea or the image of that relationship that you thought you had, you’ve lost your future of what they promised you, the future faking.
You have lost your hopes and dreams and. In reality, you may have lost everything, . Everyone around you. Uh, family and friends, you thought were loyal to you. I know you’ve lost them. I lost them to. You’ve lost your house. You had to move out somewhere. You’ve lost your children half the time. And now you have to share an, a break your heart, and you’re going through deep anxiety.
Feelings when they are not with you. And when they’re with your ax. You’re in a lot of pain and I just want to affirm that. And this ritual helps you release all that pain. So you don’t bottle it up inside of you because you can only control what you can control. Right? So not bottling up inside you releasing every single layer. And then you’ll find as you go through, you’ll be releasing pain and disappointment from your childhood that.
You may have finding that you have resentment and grudges against your parents because life wasn’t perfect. And they had the limited tools to be able to. Provide you with. Maybe just even education or teaching you about the red flags about these narcissist. Or they didn’t have the tools to provide you the .
Emotional support that you needed as a child growing up and becoming a young adult. Because of their own limited and their own trauma, , from the past. So this ritual is beautiful and is 100%. I proven I have used it. And you use the full moon magic. You are in luck. Just a few days after this episode airs.
This following Monday, March 6th is a full moon and it is occurring in Virgo. The maidens Zodiac. Of harvest. And pets. And meticulousness and details. So you get to pour your heart out and release all of the tiny details. How life was not perfect. And the disappointments in your life. And it’s opposite. The sun, which right now . Ms. Sun is in Pisces, which is the water. Sign the two fish. The dreamy. Get lost in. The dreams of life and the depth. In expansion and emotions. So if this is your first time doing this ritual, if you have been doing this with real, for a long time with me, This full moon is the moon to do it because you get to be nitpicky and write out all your details and really harnessing the Virgo.
And then it being the opposite with the sun in Pisces, really fully diving deep into your emotions. I mean, What a blessing to have this full moon ritual during this aspect, it’s gorgeous.
And before we head into our commercial break, I just want to share a fun fact with you. If you missed episode 22. Go ahead and listen to that. It is titled healing from narcissist abuse. Through new moon rituals, a guide for Pisces season. .
And you talk more about Pisces season and. Possibly a bit more about the human design gates. I went in depth in the membership and path healing membership and did a full video. For the membership on. Each of the Pisces gate. So if you’re really interested in learning more about that, Go ahead and. Join the impact healing community membership.
At Raven, Scott does show. The link is in the show notes. Now the next step. And it will be day two for you unless you binge it and do it all in one day
Number two is activate discernment in your life.
Let’s say is my 2023. Where did the year because of the. Chinese astrology. There is a bit of a clash with the year of the rabbit, and then there’s some rat. Month’s going on and when the rat and the rabbit together. Sexual deviant things happen. Internet scams, catfishing, sexual abuse, all that stuff. It occurs.
I am very aware of it because I have the rabbit and the rat in my chart. So you and your Chinese astrology chart, you have four different animals the year, month, day, and time. And so out of those four pillars, two of those. Or the rabbit and rat. Therefore I fell prey and experienced a sexually abusive relationship.
So it was really interesting. I’m not going to blame it, but I think it’s really interesting correlation being a scientist and study, or have all these different types of. Modalities. And so discernment this year, especially with our children and the internet, be careful. Activate the discernment in your life. So you can learn from your lessons, identify the narcissist and move forward. So that is a very powerful day and lesson.
In this. We also talk and integrate your human design aspect. So. I put down here, if you want me to pull your chart. You can just fill up the form and I can pull up your chart for you and discover your inner authority because that’s also part of your discernment is really tapping into your intuition and knowing your inner authority type, according to your energetic blueprint in your human design chart.
Number three is raised the bar. And a face your feelings. It is important to acknowledge and recognize and face the hurtful events and experiences that you’ve gone through due to narcissistic abuse. And it will help you cultivate self compassion. As you learn to see yourself with greater understanding and kindness.
Practicing mindfulness can help make this step a lot easier and it will ensure that your emotions are listened to. Rather than being dismissed or ignored. So once confronted with your feelings, try not to let them take over by developing healthier coping mechanisms. Such as deep breathing exercises, meditation, getting out in nature, moving your body.
And the luscious self care, like taking a bath essential oils and all those the good stuff.
So I challenge you on day three to raise the bar on your standards.
And day four, it is set boundaries, being honest with yourself, giving you actionable steps, understanding. Y, and how to set boundaries to finding between a verbal boundary and a nonverbal boundary so that you can live the life of your dreams. Narc free. It’s kind of a key part. Can’t really leave the boundaries out.
That is the most integral part. And then the middle of this on day five. You are going to learn how to be assertive and live. With inner peace. And I guide you through an inner peace meditation.
So you get to practice a 10 minute manifest your peace meditation.
To unlock your power. To live your life full of peace to craft a peaceful state of mind. And yes it is with within reach. To recognize your mental patterns and stay still reprogram your mind. It’s only 10 minutes and I’m guiding you through it. Helping you be able to keep a journal of gratitude, practice gratitude in the meditation and embrace and accept.
And letting go of expectations.
Step number six is the path to freedom. Letting go of those expectations. As I mentioned, Being honest with yourself and ask yourself what you need in order to heal. You became a target of the narcissist controlling and emotional manipulative tactics only. And only because you’re kind I’ve mentioned in the past that it is because you.
May have had some childhood trauma, which that is definitely part of the equation, but it truly is because of your empathy and your kindness. Is why they targeted you.
They saw that you didn’t have your guard up, they saw that you were so kind and open and maybe you weren’t taught or warned. About the narcissist to be able to not buy into their smoke and mirrors. . And I know it can be a daunting task to free yourself. Now that you’re in the clutches of their manipulations.
However you can reclaim your power and live a more balanced and satisfying life.
I take you through practicing and inner child meditation in the audio.
And if you are truly in an emergency state, if you are suffering from depression, anxiety, Confusion, honestly, mass confusion about what is going on and experiencing. Panic attacks. I think I already said that didn’t I I’m just like sobbing. Sessions where you just can’t make sense of all of it. And you’re just so up and down emotionally.
Then I can relate. That is exactly how I felt. And I was recommended to a therapist who I was able to go to sessions with in person. Now what’s great about a talk therapy. Is that. You can be validated. You can be listened to, you can be seen and heard. And of course you might need a shop around for the right one. Um, and if you want to look into better help, they have.
A whole bunch of them that you can get matched up with and it, and the convenience of your own home online. Then you, when you find the right therapist, They help you just, as she did with me. Find out, Hey. I’ve been abused. , I. Didn’t even realize what codependency was. I thought everything was my fault.
And then being able to have that life altering experience with a therapist saying she’s an expert, right? She’s not. Biased. She is an unbiased. Voice that could, Analyze the situation and say you were being abused. It was not your fault, how he treated you was not your fault, even though he made you think that because that’s what narcissists do.
That was not your fault.
Number seven is reclaim your power back. Create healthy thinking patterns by practicing mindfulness. I take you through. The process of understanding all of that, as well as some affirmations. , a number eight. Fight for your voice. This is a big thing that I had to do because the narcissist squishes you down and makes you think that everything.
About you is wrong and you doubt yourself and your voice gets smaller and smaller and you talk to less and less people and you get more and more isolated. So building back, your voice is number eight in the process, but it’s like such a big integral part of coming back to reclaiming your power and finding your purpose . And speaking about what you’re here to speak about. And I also shared another human design element here. In this day that. . In your human design chart, you have these little numbers and is in your centers. And there’s a center called the throat center and it’s what you speak about. And then you have.
A number or a couple of numbers defined in your throat center and it shares about what you speak about. So if it’s defined. Let’s say number 62 is defined. That is how things can change. Let’s say number eight is defined. That also means that you create change and you make a contribution with your voice.
So I think it’s really empowering to know what you’re here to talk about, because then that helps clear out that throat chakra and heal. And allow you to gain the confidence and say, Uh, hi, I am here to share something and I have something to say and it erases all of the lies. And it allows you to gain your power back after narcissistic abuse.
. Number nine is shield yourself from their reactions. Don’t take their negative reactions personally. And I talk you through how to do that because a narcissist has a very conniving way of twisting situations in order to make it seem like the problem is always, you. Like I said, that was why I almost just drown myself in a whole bottle of alcohol.
On the beach in Tahiti. Cause I just, every single argument was always turned back on me and I always felt like it was my fault. And then he looked at me with disgust and I just wanted to die because he just made me so little. He made me such a shell of myself. I was a ghost myself, my confident person that I was.
When I met him. It was gone. He shattered that. And that’s why, again, I’m here to share that that’s. Their tactic and that’s their problem. And I help you and boost your confidence to not give a shit what the narcissist says. And number 10 the very last day. We talk about connecting to your greater purpose and community.
It can be difficult to move away from a narcissist relationship, but it’s important to know that you’re not alone. You’re not alone. And we are here. I am here in the podcast. I am here. If you need one-on-one coaching calls. If you need your human design red. I am here and all of us are here as a community and paths and the free Facebook and path healing group.
And if you want to subscribe and join. Into the impact healing community. We host monthly. Healing circles, where we get together face to face virtually. And we connect and we share and we support each other and we heal. And encourage each other.
So those are the 10 ways to overcome the pain of narcissistic abuse and live narc free. You can download this extensive audio series. And the link in the show notes.
With all the gratitude in the world. I appreciate you listening and leaving a review. Sending me feedback. And asking your questions in the form. And the home page. Shout out to a devoted listener, Rebecca. I will not disclose any more of the, her personal information. But she is so amazing. And I just wanted to read a clip.
You’re amazing Raven. And thank you for allowing all of us and pads, a place to shine and grow.
Thank you again, your knowledge is so valuable and you’re an angel of light.
Thank you. Thank you so much, Rebecca.
I look forward to your membership subscription when you can one day. And I look forward to reading all of the other reviews. That come in. Don’t forget to leave a review on apple podcast.
And you may hear your name on a shout out here on the podcast.
Raven: I know if you’re listening to this, you don’t have to imagine coming to the realization that the person you are married to is neither capable or has a desire to love you. This is why you found me. I remember though, when I left my narcissist that I, I felt so lost and alone, and at the same time, very empowered.
It’s really a matter of who you surround yourself, and we are not meant to go through these extreme hard times. We are meant to heal in community, in ritual, and in circles to have people pull us out of the quicksand that we’re stuck in. If you are ready to dive into discovering your authentic self through human design and heal in community through education and support in a safe group coaching environment, And it’s time for you to join the Empath Healing Membership.
We are an uplifting community of like-minded impasse. On a similar healing journey, you’ll gain access to monthly healing circles and weekly q and a events with a vast and growing library of narc, abuse, education, healing meditations, and human design. If you are ready to discover how unique you are through your human design chart, overcome the pain of your past from narcissistic abuse and transform.
Co-dependent to rockstar Warrior, then dive into the membership today. It will rock your world and bring new light. The fog the narcissist has placed over you. I’m so excited to see you subscribe and in the heart-centered empath healing community as a sampler. Hop into the Free Empath healing support Facebook community, and join the discussion on this episode’s topic today and look out for the live q and a events there every Friday.
Click the link in the show notes. I’m so grateful for you listening. Finding the show and sharing it with your friends. It would give a great boost in the heart center to algorithm to rate and review this podcast. If you are enjoying it, take a screenshot, share it on your socials, share it in a text message to a friend that you know right now needs to be pulled out of the quicksand.
And remember, always keep your unique light shining.
Losing time, I’ll fade in fast. I just wanna make it last. Try to let go of the fast. I close my eyes. Embrace the blast. Sleepless nights and headache stack restlessness to hell and back. What’s my purpose, but do I grab a slippery resu surface, a heart attack, and sometimes you just gotta something that’ll give you relief.
What we’re broken. It’s tragic. We’re not all elastic, but maybe there’s magic. Believe you could.