4 Reasons Why Bad Relationships Keep Repeating for Empaths | S5 Ep15

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“Both of you are in the quicksand and you wanna rescue them, but you can’t. You have to rescue yourself before you can rescue them. Quicksands gonna pull you down.”

– Tami Kiekhaefer LCSW
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Whether you are an expert in relationships as our guest today, or not, repetition of bad cycles can be maddening. Today, you’ll learn four possible reasons why empaths continually attract the same narcissistic energy into their relationships.

Our guest today,

Tami Kiekhaefer, LCSW shares with us so much wisdom on avoiding Snakes and Pitfalls on the Path to Healthy Love

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Interview with Tami K LCSW 4 Reasons Why Bad Relationships Reocur

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Have you noticed a pattern of toxic relationships in your own life? You may find yourself repeating the same mistakes or entering relationships with people that bring out the worst in you. Here, we discuss three possible reasons why empaths keep attracting narcissists into their lives.

4 Reasons why Empaths keep falling into toxic relationships

Childhood conditioning / People Pleasing patterns

2. Toxic positivity – Healer of all. Avoiding Red Flags.

3. Lack of Self-Awareness and Emotional Intelligence.

4. Unresolved Trauma from Past

Her book: Preparing for the Jungle, avoiding Snakes and Pitfalls on the Path to Healthy Love.

Raven: They turn you into the crazy one that needs to take medicine, and they just put that big fog over all of the abuse that they’ve been putting onto you and you’ve been putting up with, and then all of a sudden you’re the crazy one.
Tami: Yeah.
Raven: They light the flame and then they watch it and then they like add gasoline to it.
Tami: And then step back and go, wow, you really need some help, don’t you? Why are you such a mess? Now you need me even more because I, I’m the voice of reason. You know? Yeah. And that’s, that’s gaslighting right there.


Unresolved Trauma from the Past

One of the biggest contributing factors to negative relationship patterns may be unresolved trauma. As humans, we bring our baggage and our past traumas into all of our relationships, whether subconsciously or not. Our past experiences shape the way we see ourselves, others, and how they see us. We may form beliefs that are based on those negative experiences, which contribute to our behavior in current relationships.

Lack of Self-Awareness and Emotional Intelligence.

It is possible that someone may find themselves in the same negative relationship pattern because they lack the self-awareness or emotional intelligence to recognize they are repeating it. Without the tools, awareness, and understanding needed to identify when you are attracting the wrong person or circumstances into your life, it can be almost impossible to break free of an unfulfilling cycle. It’s important to keep in mind if you begin to identify patterns in your relationships that don’t bring satisfaction, such as feelings of unhappiness, that it might be time for a change.


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About Guest

Tami- Tami Kiekhaefer, LCSW has operated a successful psychotherapy practice since 2002. She provides individual, family and couples therapy around anxiety, depression, domestic violence, trauma, relationships, and empowerment.

Follow guest on Instagram: @tamikieklcsw/


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Published by Raven Scott

Raven Scott is an Empathic Spiritual Healer, Intl. Author, Podcaster, and Narc Abuse Soul Healing Coach in her Empath Healing Membership Community with the use of somatic healing exercises, Moon Rituals, Tarot, and Astrology & Human Design Reading.

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