Divorce Recovery: How To get unstuck from the hell of Narcissistic Abuse.
Discover what you need to do to recover from divorce without going crazy. Learn how to stop feeling like a victim from the narcissist, gain your freedom and start living again.
Overcome the fear of the unknown and being alone. Divorce is hard on everyone involved. It can leave you feeling angry, sad, lonely, confused, guilty, and even suicidal. But there are things you can do to help yourself through this difficult period in your life.
Discover how to fulfill yourself and fill the void with your self love.
These are the key takeaways from episode 120 How to Recover from Divorce from a Narcissist without Losing your Mind with Leah Mazur.
I acknowledge that you are in a very complicated situation. The narcissist has fear mongered you into staying, threatened the most precious people you cherished, blackmails you, and guilts you into staying; all so that they do not feel their triggers of abandonment, and to hide their unhealed trauma wounds.
They do not put in the effort to discover themselves, improve themselves, or grow spiritually. They feel like they are going to die. So they continue to ignore it, ignore others needs, and ignore the pain they are causing all around them. Living with a person like that is no way to live. This is why you feel like a shell of a person. They have sucked all your compassion and energy from you. And you live in fear and stay only to protect what is most precious to you.
“They’re creating that trauma bond, with all of their highs and lows, because 100% of it wasn’t bad. Right? They give you just enough to give you a little bit of hope. Because they know hope always dies last. And then in between all those little bursts of love and joy and possibility. They’re just tearing it back down again.” — Leah Mazur Ep 120 Empath and Narcissist podcast
The best way to Break free is NO CONTACT.
If you feel depressed after a breakup, it’s normal to feel bad. However, if you feel so bad that you think about suicide, you should talk to someone who knows you well.
“One of the, the best ways to break free from a narcissist, is no contact. And I know that’s not always possible if you do share children, but, that is really huge. Because you’re in that brain fog. So the more separation, the more space you can create between the two of you, then you can see things more clearly.” — Leah Mazur Ep 120 Empath and Narcissist podcast
Reach out to all the narcissist advocates speaking out. Reach out to Leah Mazur the Divorce Recovery Coach. Reach out to Raven the Narc Abuse Recovery Coach through Human Design. Or reach out to a professional, LCSW, a best friend, or family member.
Take Control Of Your Emotions & Gain Support
You’re not alone. Many people struggle with feelings of sadness, loneliness, anger, fear, and other emotions following a break up. It’s natural to feel sad, angry, and frustrated when you lose someone you love, especially the narcissist. But if these negative feelings become overwhelming, you might consider seeing a therapist or counselor.
The running 2022 them is Feel it to Heal it:
“ You have to process things and work through things, so don’t just not do it. Be specific and strategic on what you’re doing. So gain your support, whether it’s a therapist, whether it’s a coach like me, whether you’re just in a group, if you have some kind of support group or like a Facebook group or something where you can talk about it and talk to people who get it and who can help you and support you through it. So that it’s not emotional diarrhea when you’re trying to interact or co-parent with your ex narc, because it’s never going to go the way that you want it to go if you do.” — Leah Mazur Ep 120 Empath and Narcissist podcast
Five Mental Health Habits so you Don’t go Crazy
It’s important to go to the mind and emotional gym. Work on switching the negative narrative the narcissist has programmed into your mind and subconscious into an empowering, strong stance against their toxicity.
- Meditation- guided meditations are a great start. Make it a daily habit. Walking meditations are soothing also. Meditate with, certified meditation Teacher, Raven on YouTube @ravenscottshow
- Sleep — It is imperative you get on a regular sleep schedule and get at least 8 hours of sleep. When you find yourself separated from the narcissist you may find you need extra sleep and repair. Remember, your mind has been to hell and back and your nervous system perpetually on high alert. So it will take time for it to calm down, and EFT Tapping is another calming exercise to do to ease the CPTSD.
- Get out in nature — The sun and the fresh air is so important for you to return to your calm state. Studies have shown Vitamin D and sunshine are medicine for depression and excellent for your mental health.
- Earthing — walk barefoot on the Earth. Which grounds your energy and detoxifies the negative energy out of your body. Mother Earth takes it through the science of magnetics and composts it for you.
- Be present:
“ The future is now. The practice of mindfulness. It doesn’t forbid us to plan for the future. It’s best not to lose ourselves in uncertainty and fear over the future. But if we’re truly established in the present moment, We can bring the future to the here and now.
And make plans. We’re not losing the present moment. When we think about the future. In fact, the present moment contains both past and future. The only material that the future is made of is the present. If you know how to handle the present and the best way you can. That’s all you can do for the future.
Handling the present moment with all your attention. All your intelligence is already building a future.” — Thich Nhat Hanh in the book, Your True Home, the Everyday Wisdom.
How to get Unstuck and Start Living Again.
You’ve been hurt by your partner who promised all your hearts desires to manipulate you to stay. Yet they never delivered on these promises. So you know how hard it is to move forward when you feel like you’re losing everything. It’s not easy to find the strength to rebuild your life after a breakup, especially if you’re dealing with financial stress or custody battles, or other issues.
Fear is the root of all frozen states of action. Fear of the unknown, fear of being unlovable, fear of ruining things, fear of other judging you and hating you, fear of _fill in the blank.
“Fear can be tricky sometimes, you have all of these outcomes. Your imagination can go wild about all the horrible things that can happen. And so when you have somebody that helps you work through those things and put things into perspective and then guide you through and support you while you make those decisions, and so that you don’t feel like you’re having to do it alone. That makes all the difference in the world.” — Leah Mazur
And Leah is here for you. I am here for you. To coach you. You are not alone.
Leah recommends reading the book Out of the Fog by Dana Morningstar.
In conclusion, overcoming the fear of the unknown and being alone, gaining support, and strengthening your mental health makes divorce not so hard. And you can navigate the complexities of the negative words and energies thrown your way with strength and courage, and know the truth will set you and not worry about what others believe.
Because life is to short to be stuck in a soul sucking relationship. You can mend relationships with those who are willing to listen. Don’t worry about that yet. You are sinking in a large boat and drowning with a tiny dixie cup.
You must grab a hand, and get help to be pulled out of the sinking boat and up to dry land to regain yourself.
That hand is here for you. Grab your coaching and human design reading at https://ravenscott.show/shop
And remember. Always keep your unique light shining!
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Leah is a certified Divorce Recovery Coach for women and founder of Mindfully Ready, LLC. She specializes in helping women rebuild their self-confidence so they can live their best lives after divorce. She offers 1-on-1 coaching sessions while providing a safe, judgement-free community for women rebuilding after divorce in her private Facebook group Divorced & Empowered.
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This week on the podcast we are talking about elevating your vibration to repel the narcissist. I wanted to share my favorite playlist to recenter myself and connect to my Higher self. https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6wRrXEbJ0S8QG8lj0FUK2P?si=a2f37609295e4f69Enjoy and comment below which is your favorite song?