Blog | Regain Your Sparkle After Abuse

Do you struggle to survive the holiday season when dealing with a narcissistic parent? Discover seven ways to survive the holiday season.

The holidays are supposed to be fun, but they can also be stressful. If you’re struggling to cope with a narcissistic parent, learn how to survive the holiday season and enjoy yourself this year.

Listen to the full Podcast Episode for wisdom and guidance and all seven tips.

Don’t Be Afraid to Say No

You might think saying no to your parents will make them mad at you, but actually, it’s better to say no than to feel guilty later. Saying no lets you avoid feeling bad about disappointing your family. It also helps you maintain boundaries between you and your family members.

If you are at a gathering and it is one person who is toxic, here are some great phrases to get out if you get caught by them one on one.

One is, “Excuse me, while I go to the bathroom.” That really, you can’t like, say not get out of going to the bathroom. Right?

You don’t have to go to the bathroom. Excuse me while I go to the bathroom.

“Let’s change the topic to the weather.”

“Oh look, it’s Cousin Louie just arrived. I’m gonna go say hi.” Or you can say,

“I’m gonna go help in the kitchen.” And just walk away. These are all great excuses. You don’t feel bad, you don’t have to call them out. You just get out.

Know When to Walk Away.

If you’re having trouble getting through the holidays without being overwhelmed by your family, try walking away. This means not responding to any of your family’s requests. Instead, focus on yourself and your own needs. This may mean, you will not go to church with them, but will meet up after for dinner.

This may mean, you don’t discuss certain topics and if it comes up let them know you cannot engage or you will need to walk away.

The key is to not get sucked into the drama.

“I’m gonna go help in the kitchen.” And just walk away. These are all great excuses. You don’t feel bad, you don’t have to call them out. You just get out.

Have Fun!

You might feel like you need to spend every moment of the holiday season with your family, but you don’t. In fact, you should enjoy the holidays as much as possible while still making sure you take care of yourself.

“Spend time with other loved ones and friends who you adore and they adore you. So watch holiday movies, guilt-free. Bake, shop, and surround yourself with friends who are empathetic and family members who are caring” [ 29:10]

Take Care Of Yourself.

If you’re having trouble taking care of yourself during the holidays, here’s some advice to help you out.

“Self care is important for all year round, but it’s extra important during the holidays. Again, make sure to hydrate, eat well. Exercise journal, take advantage of the full moons and burn journal, and burn and release through the energy, the potent energy . And that Full Moon ritual is in the free How to Draw Powerful Boundaries Workshop. Grab that link in the show say notes. Meditate. Get eight hours of sleep. Go to therapy. Book an emotion code session. Release the emotional baggage through the subconscious, through those sessions, through the Full Moon.

And of course, listen to this podcast during the holidays.” [25:15]

Let Go of Expectations.

You might think that you should be able to handle everything perfectly, but you can’t. It’s unrealistic to expect perfection from yourself. Instead, focus on doing what you can do well.

“Sarah Durham. Wilson shared with us an episode number, 96.

How is Narcissism related to Patriarchy?
How to build the bridge towards a balanced society. A Journey from Maiden to Mother with Sarah Durham Wilson

That parent, that lover, they’re like that old shack wherever they’re from, right? It could be on the bayou, it could be on the beach, it could be in the city.

Tiny little shop that’s broken down, doesn’t have a lot of shelves, is very rickety and rusty, and you keep banging on the doors of the shop saying, Hey, hello. Do you have empathy? Do you have sensitivity? Do you have time for me? And they keep saying, darling, don’t have time for you. I don’t have empathy or sympathy.

I do say not have the emotional capacity on the shelf here. Haven’t carried it in stock. Never have. I might have been glistening and look a little faux when you were younger, but it never truly was here on the shelves. Never was, never will. Stop coming here and asking for that. We don’t carry that here. Same thing.

So all of this to say that a lot of us have these high expectations of bliss and perfection.” [10:40]

And remember. Always keep your unique light shining.

Raven Scott

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