Empaths take on the responsibility of the world. Absorbing all that negative energy confuses them to think they deserve less than their dreams. Learn how to STOP attracting narcissists.
“A lot of empaths don’t see themselves as leaders or achievers. And that’s another way that they block receiving because they’re always creating inside the box.”Jeanne Sullivan Billeci
— – Jeanne S. Billeci, Empath & The Narcissist podcast Ep. 87 (listen below)
Listen to Podcast
Here are some key moments:
Empaths are Born Sensitive and Conditioned to Adopt the Fixer Role
We are so sensitive to feeling and understanding people’s pain and anxiety, excitement, and all that stuff. But we tend to feel we need to fix the pain and the anxiety to make it go away.
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Because it feels really uncomfortable within us not knowing it’s not ours. And when you don’t recognize it’s not yours it’s very uncomfortable because it doesn’t make sense.
Narcissists start to show their weaknesses and cracks once they have felt you are secure in their grasp. Then your empathy kicks in and you feel you can can fix them. You hold the love and the hope and the tools for healing. However they are so far gone they are not open for healing or “fixing”.
You do not give up, because of the depth of your love, and then you justify and make up excuses for their bad behavior and abuse. You take responsibility for all the conflict, and are put in a role as a caregiver to your lover.
Narcs insult you at the same time they give you a false compliment
“I remember he came up to me at the gym and said, “Hey, I was gonna work out on that machine.” I said, “Honey, I don’t see your name on it and I’m here.” And I just kept working out. He was suddenly intrigued. And it became very obvious when I look back on it. -It wasn’t obvious to me at the time. But I was like, oh my God, he was such a narcissist. And we started dating, and to think about how I bent and changed for him makes me upset. Once he showed interest in me, I suddenly went off my track. The healthy part of me just took a nose dive. And I started all this unhealthy behavior. He said to me one day, “Oh God, you’re gorgeous. How much more weight are you gonna lose?” — Jeanne S. Billeci
Classic Narcissist covert controlling insult.
How to Stop Attracting Narcissists
Fixing the narcissists problems is enabling them and blocking you from attracting someone with the same vibration as you.
When you take too much responsibility and when you’re taking responsibility for another person, you are actually blocking their progress. You’re preventing them from, you know, stepping up into their journey into, into their struggle when you try to take it on for them and fix it for them.
We all have a road to travel in life to learn our soul lesson. And some of us need to endure more than others. And if we stop that and enable bad behavior, we are blocking the soul’s evolution.
Placing boundaries for how people can treat you, and implementing consequences is the best loving way to guide them along, and possibly away from us.
You are magnificent, you don’t need to try so hard
You are unique no matter if your parents don’t like it, your lover tries to control you into who they want you to be. You are a badass, just as you were born.
Don’t let the society and judgement of others dictate your words, thoughts or actions. You be your BadAss you.
And when you vibrate in your authentic frequency that is unique only to you, you will attract others at the same frequency to bring you love and abundance and support.
What your persist will resist. Don’t bring presents on a first date, slowly get to know the other person, listen, and surrender to the Universe you will find love when you don’t need love.
Radical self care and love, will make you self sustaining and that will attract a healthy lover.
Over giving and resentment is a sign
Over giving and feeling upset that their is no reciprocation, is a sign that we need to learn to say “no” in a loving way. We have allowed the other to trample all over us, and it is time to rise up and set up boundaries.
People are innately selfish, they will treat you how it is comfortable for them, unless you establish rules of how to relate. ie boundaries.
And then they will either accept it and appreciate rules, or they will not like it and leave the relationship. Which I say, “Good riddens”
In conclusion sensitive men and women are sexy, you just haven’t attracted the right vibe if they try and damped your empathic nature.
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And remember. Always keep your unique light shining.
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As a certified life coach, Jeanne helps singles, who are confident in their career but less so in love, step into their sovereignty–live their happiest, most purposeful life–so they can attract a partner who supports and elevates them. Many of her clients are high achievers and empaths who always get the short end of the relationship stick and don’t realize they’re pushing partnership away by their approach.
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