It is so important to have the angry stage so that you can remove yourself from this toxic. Web of lies and deceit and manipulation and gas lighting, but then once you’re out, you don’t need to hold onto this anger anymore.
“If he was fire. Oh, then she must be wood. I saw her wince. I saw her cry. I saw the glory in her eye. Myself, I long for the love and light, but must it come so cruel and oh, so bright.”– Joan of Arc lyrics Leonard Cohan
The anger is for a purpose it’s for a time and a place. And then once you find yourself on the outside with full resolve that you are not going back. Now is the time to release the anger.
Their charismatic ability to twist your brain in such a way that you think everything is your fault. And you ask for more blame. It is mind boggling and insane how this occurs, but I’m here to attest that it does, and that it’s not your fault.
You just need to gain a bit more emotional resolve. Open your eyes to see that they are stringing you along. With this carrot and the carrot is not physical. This is what’s really difficult about narcissist. And the emotional abuse is that this reward is a dream. They sell you on hope.
Listen to the whole article on the Empath & The Narcissist Podcast:
Narcissist do not contribute to a functioning relationship
They are constantly putting it on you, if they’re constantly saying that they didn’t do anything, what are you talking about? Let’s just move on. Let’s sweep it under the rug. Discounting your emotions because they’ve had it harder in their life. All of these things are just a way for them to not take responsibility and it’s a cop out.
And so that relationship will never be able to meet the dreams that are promised because that person is not willing to put in the work. You may be willing to put in the. But it can’t be only one way. You can’t pedal a bike with one foot. You can’t row a boat with one paddle. You need both sides for you to go forward.
If you’re paddling on the right side of a boat, you’re gonna spin in a tight circle on the right. You’re not gonna go forward.
This is how they reel you back in after a blow up fight
It’s like a Jenga puzzle. Have you ever played the game Jenga? Where you’re pulling out a piece and you putting it on the top and you’re fine for a while. And then you start pulling out like bigger chunks of peace and putting on the top.
And the Jenga is like starting to get unstable. All those pieces are all of the emotional abuse done to you. And at first you’re like, I can take it. It’s fine. I’ll just excuse it. They’re just having a bad day. And it has these pieces start to make your Jenga tower UN sturdy. In the middle, those are the bigger things that they feel comfortable.
They can do, like hitting you, like locking you outside of your house, like ignoring you and neglecting you, you know, canceling vacations, taking away gifts that they’ve given you all of these pieces piled on top of the Jenga puzzle in the middle of your game, when it starts to get unsteady. And you’re like, whoa, whoa, it’s gonna fall.
Those are the big ones. And then at the very end. You pull one little block from the top, trying to not have your whole Jenga tower collapse. And that one little block is at last tiny, little emotional neglect, tiny little emotional abuse, and you try and put it on the top and your tower collapses. And you’ve you’re at your last.
You may snap, you may react. You may, all of a sudden look like the abuser and they finally get to blame you for being the abuser and do horrible things, like call the police on you or blame you for everything or tell the whole, you know, friends and family that you are the abuser and you are the crazy one.
And even more you’re even more irate and crazy, because your tower has just fallen the straw. The very last straw that you can take anymore is done. You’re done. Can’t handle it. And you’re just out. Right? And you leave. Now, this can happen multiple times. You can rebuild that Jenga puzzle and play again.
And that’s you going back to the narcissist, but you don’t have to put that Jenga tower back up again and play again. You can walk away and you have the choice and the power to now of course they can try and seduce you and oh, that I, I won’t, I won’t make our Jenga tower UN sturdy again. I won’t do that again.
But isn’t that the game of Jenga, isn’t that the Mo and game of the narcissist, that’s what they do. They’re always making the tower unstable. That is the point of the Jenga game. And that is their psyche and their subconscious patterns that they don’t wanna fix. They could if they wanted to, but they don’t want.
So there’s a difference between someone who’s toxic and unhealthy that wants to go to therapy that wants to get fixed and not make their Jenga tower super unsturdy. And there’s others who just make an excuse. They don’t wanna put in the work. They just want their Jenga tower to be super unsturdy because that’s the way we play.
That is what it is.
This is how they get you back in. You think. “Oh my God. I shouldn’t have snapped.”
He just wanted a little bit more salt on his, egg. She wanted, a little bit more spice in her food, or you brought home an order wrong, you know, all these little tiny. It always comes back to these tiny daily habits of sustenance, or I left my toothbrush in the wrong place, whatever it is, it’s not stupid because you have to think about your Jenga, your house, your emotional, sturdiness was literally standing on one piece of a Jenga tower on the outside leaning like the tower of Piza leaning leaning, leaning. And then they took that last one out. It was sitting on the last leg of the stool and you’re like done. So it’s not your fault. You didn’t overreact. You were already pushed to the brink emotionally of your patients and your emotional stamina.
How to Set Boundaries with the Toxic Narcissist
“You are not creating space for anybody healthy to walk into your life if your “room” is full of toxic negative people…medium.com
Release your confused and negative emotions through this Full Moon Ritual
Every full moon and you can do it as it’s waning. It’s even more powerful the day after, as it’s waning.
So today is the Tuesday right after the Saturday Full Moon. This is a day it’s still potent to release as the moon is waning and what you do is you take all the elements that incorporate our energy of our existence. So first we’re gonna take a lead pencil. Use a pencil with lead and a piece of paper. And you’re going to write out your emotions of how you’re feeling.
Remember I talked about the moon being fully illuminated, so it’s super easy to fully illuminate your emotions right now. You could probably write for 20 minutes about how you’re feeling because it’s so exaggerated. It’s so out there you’re, you’re not hiding anything. This is perfect. You don’t have to sift through your justifications, your.
Examples or excuses or, oh, I did this or this. It’s like, no, this is what I’m feeling. And it’s out there and it’s released it’s out in the spotlight. So you take it down. The lead pencil paper, this is the earth elements. You write it all out and you journal everything you are feeling right now, specifically like one intense emotion, if you really wanna block it out.
So what we’re doing in this releasing ritual is, we are gardening. Our minds and our subconscious, and you’re just taking a weed and we’re gonna pull it at the root and remove it, release it, and then transmute it.
- Write everything out. And then after you’ve written, maybe set a timer for yourself of seven minutes, it kind of gives you time.
Then once the timer goes off, you’re gonna write some more, but not of the same. You’re gonna think back.
When is the first time that I felt this? Is it in your childhood, your teenage years? How did you feel? Just write out all of the feelings surrounding that connected the root.
2. Take this piece of paper. I usually fold it one time. I put it in a stainless steel pot. I go outside where there’s no brush or anything around me. I typically like to go near my tree that I love in my backyard, but not right under it. Or burn it in the fireplace.
Be careful not to catch anything else on fire. And burn and release it through the fire element and transmute. All of the air of your thoughts have gone into the paper through earth, and then you’re gonna release the air of your words back through fire, up into the.
And it goes up into the air and you’re transmuting all of that. So you’re sacrificing essentially, and you’re burning these emotions, this weed, you just plucked out of your subconscious in your mind. It is now surrendered and released to the universe. It’s not there for you anymore to stew on to ruminate.
3. And as that final step in the ritual is you go and you shower and you cleanse. So you, you can either take a beautiful salt bath if you wish to soak and cleanse and just like soak up your goodness and wash all of that excess energy off, or you can shower and just take a nice, beautiful, quick shower and let the magic of the water cleanse any excess energy off.
You wanna do that as soon as possible. So kind of plan out your ritual for around the time you’re going to take a shower.
This is the magic of this Full moon ritual. You can do this every full moon the day of, or the day after you can do this in between, to be honest, especially while the moon is waning towards the new moon.
So please don’t wait, if you have something pressing to transmute to the universe, write it all out and transmute it. And after this, you will not feel. This energy of this negative emotion. Again, it will be gone and released.
How you can subconsciously release your anger and your negative feelings through the emotion code.
I’ve been working with Madhvi Mathur. She is an exceptional emotion code coach. She helps you release and find what’s in your subconscious hidden relating to whatever thing that you’re dealing with.
You don’t even really need to know. She feels into your subconscious and does different types of muscle testing. And then there’s all the steps that she takes you through to release it.
This emotion code is a unique perspective and a new energy and emotion. So I’m sure if you are like me you will love these sessions. I am actively working with her and I just highly recommend that you get contact her and try her out because you probably feel like you’ve tried everything and you feel stuck and you’re starting to feel hopeless and feel like nothing can help make the changes you were looking for.
If this sounds like you and you are like me, I would like to introduce you to the emotion code and body code. This is a type of energy healing that is based on the premise that your body holds an energetic record of everything you’ve experienced in your life. Both good and bad. The energy of negative or traumatic experiences can affect you at a cellular level, sometimes becoming trapped and keeping you stuck in ongoing patterns of fear, sadness, and pain.
The emotion code and body code contains elements of acupuncture, kinesiology, magnetic therapy, and ancient Chinese medicine, and is based on the principle that if not acknowledged and properly dealt with emotions can become trapped inside us, negatively impacting our thoughts, feelings, health, and wealth on a deeper level.
As a certified body coach and emotion code practitioner, Madvi has a deep understanding of these energies and how they can cause blockages in your life. Madhvi is helping people release emotional baggage break negative patterns, and find root causes with the emotional and body code. She believes the healing possibilities of the body code and emotion code are limitless. And I can highly attest to this while working with her, myself.
So I would highly recommend connecting with Madhvi Mathur reach out to her in the show notes today and get your free emotion code inquiry consultation today.
Visit www.madhvi.ca that’s M a D HVI dot C.
You may also be interested in reading…
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Discover how to use astrology and somatic healing techniques to relieve trauma and pain. This comprehensive episode will show you the power of combining astrology with body-based approaches!
I am working on the community library to provide education, mediations, co-parenting information, self care and more! I’ll post the link in the comments once it’s live.
This week on the podcast we are talking about elevating your vibration to repel the narcissist. I wanted to share my favorite playlist to recenter myself and connect to my Higher self. https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6wRrXEbJ0S8QG8lj0FUK2P?si=a2f37609295e4f69Enjoy and comment below which is your favorite song?