What do you do when you Narcissistic parents do not accept who you truly are? It is traumatizing, and damaging to your self esteem. Learn how to find confidence and healing from religious persecution of queer ( LGBTQ) identity.
“ I still felt bonded and chained to my toxic family, to my trauma, to my hurt. And little by little, I started realizing that I was chaining myself to it. And I realized, if I could break that myself, I was free. And I can be me.”
Christina Douglas
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Today I share a conversation with Intuitive Relationship Coach Christina Douglas and How to heal yourself from identity persecution, and gain confidence living your most free and joy filled life on the podcast.
Here is what I took away from our conversation:
Boundaries
The concept of setting boundaries, is the process of determining any unhealthy interactions with others that causes you emotional turmoil. It’s about exploring your comfort level in specific situations, and recognizing toxic opinions and behaviors that persecute or diminish your spirit.
Just as you can build a fence physically, you can build a “boundary” emotionally. You do not have to tolerate racist, homophobic, or demeaning remarks. You can walk away, speak up, and not allow the negativity into your heart and mind.
When Christina so bravely shared her story about struggling with being gay in a highly religious household, she realized without boundaries she was in deep emotional pain. Her siblings embraced her when she came out, but then after her parents interaction with them, they turned on her and she was made to feel a problem that needed to be fixed. This toxic behavior does consider the person who is being persecuted. The energy is focused in on the narcissist objective to preserve their “perfect image” that they believe society identifies them.
The Forces that Drive Narcissism and How Unhealed Childhood Trauma Manifests
“Codependency is driven by a lack of identity” — Your Relationship Resetmedium.com
So while preserving their own identity, they squash the identity of their own children if it is a threat. This is traumatizing, and full of hate and judgement. This is the hardest emotional growth to go through, because all your childhood you believed love was conditional. It’s ironic in households that put Jesus and the Bible on a pedestal speaking of grace and unconditional love, only wishes to receive this from their God, versus giving it out to their children and others that are different in society.
Now more than ever, we need to support each other. And especially the marginalized. With the right wing, narcissists disguised behind the mask of Christianity, attacking the trans community by taking away their body autonomy, medically. Taking away free speech with don’t say gay laws in Florida, then the Roe V. Wade overturn, which affects more than just CIS women. And they are planning on attacking same-sex marriage.
These may be dark times, but remember they are fighting back hard because they realize they are losing power. Just as a narcissist lashes out when you place a boundary for your protection. They are now the minority and the minority of the past which was full of male rights dominant, witch hunts, slavery, and more. And the minority, which was all people other than CIS white people, is now the majority.
That’s why learning about support systems such as the Trevor project allows information to empower and support those being attacked. We all can benefit SIS and LGBTQ. From knowing that the Trevor project is an available resource. Because we all deserve. Uh, welcoming, loving world. And so do the people you care about. www.thetrevorproject.org, you can reach out to a counselor. If you’re struggling, find answers and information and get the tools you need to help yourself, or someone else.
Rewrite your self worth narrative.
Our emotions are normal as the gatekeeper of your own life. Have the courage to ask what it is they’re telling you and start making any necessary changes. Changing your negative thoughts about yourself in your head, to more positive thoughts that are affirming, is the way to heal from emotional abuse from the Narcissist.
The Narcissist has planted thousands of lies in your head to keep you beneath them, to keep you small and fearful. Now it is time to erase those lies and thoughts and rewrite your own narrative.
“ I still felt bonded and chained to my toxic family, to my trauma, to my hurt. And little by little, I started realizing that I was chaining myself to it. And I realized, if I could break that myself, I was free. And I can be me.” — Christina Douglas, Intuitive Relationship Coach
You have the choice what runs through your head. It is as if your body is a house, you own all the furniture in it, but you can change it at any time. The furniture does not define the house, the color of the walls or floor does not even define the house either. Just as you remodel a house stripping it to it’s studs, you can also do the same with your thoughts and energy in your body. With time, discipline, and practice, you too can have a full transformed remodel million dollar home. ie psyche.
Heal with Inner Child Meditation
I have been able to toss out and strip away the old moldy contents of my emotional body by doing this single most healing meditation exercise. I describe it and guide you through the meditation in my book Empath and The Narcissist. Here is an excerpt.
…the most transforming, and healing exercise you will do for yourself in this journey. And that’s either going to heal your relationship you’re in because you’re going to come from a place of health, or it’s going to tell you exactly what your next step is to be and that might be leaving that relationship. Some instances your inner child has been locked away and hidden in a dungeon for so long they are initially unresponsive to your interaction. They are hurt, angry, untrusting of your efforts to hold and play with them due to your many years of neglect. It is not your fault, we all are conditioned to lock our child up as we grow older. It may take time to gain your inner child’s trust. In doing the exercise below your inner child may not want to sit next to you, sit in your lap, or touch you. That is ok, allow them the freedom to experience learning how to trust you first and over time with continual growth of your relationship they will come to love, trust and embrace you. Which is you truly embracing yourself. — Chapter 4 From Narcissist Magnet to Narcissist Repellant.
Journaling is a tool to get the negative out.
There is no better way to clear out the toxic ideas, pain, and trauma than taking what is circulating around in your brain and getting it out on paper. My favorite way to transmute that energy up to the Universe and never be bothered by it again is a burning ritual.
You write all you are feeling — tear drops and all. Set a timer for 12 minutes to help you not stop and get it all out. You journal what you are feeling now using a pencil. (The paper and pencil are Earth elements) And then you reach into the basement of your heart and write out when you first felt this feeling. Who was there, what happened, how did you feel. And then you put your journal paper into a stainless steel pot outside in a clear area. And you use the Fire element and burn the paper. This transmutes that pain up into the Air Element. And then as soon as you can afterward shower, using the Water Element to cleanse the remaining energy.
You will feel much lighter, you will have removed that burden and negativity from your body. And it allows you to be open and curious to absorb the affirmations, and positive narrative you now get to embody.
Affirmations
Affirmations are powerful words that you read, say to yourself in the mirror, and absorb into your emotional body. They are the new and fabulous furniture in your home. Christina shared with us a book she recommends to read called The Compound Affect book by Darren Hardy. It shares how to win, kick bad habits, learn key disciplines for success, and accelerate your way to freedom and success.
Here are few of my favorite affirmations for confidence.
“I am calm, confident, and relaxed.” I do this during EFT Tapping every morning.
Haunted: How to Relieve Anxiety with EFT Tapping
“I woke in the dead of night with a sudden, uneasy feeling. I felt someone staring at me. I looked over to the source…medium.com
“I am divine, I am one with the Universe. It is safe to be in my body.”
“ I am light.”
“I am a valuable person.”
I’m excited to share my book is available on Audible on August 10,2022.
And Remember. Always keep your unique light shining!
- Free yourself from narcissistic abuse, and draw long lasting powerful boundaries. Grab your FREE narcissist abuse recovery workshop: It is your next step to defeating the Narcissist
- Buy Empath and the Narcissist Book on Amazon with brand new cover and The audible version will be available by mid August
- Bumped Bruised and Blessed posted a conversation with me on Narcissistic mothers on her YouTube channel
- I’m excited to be a part of a special event on Oct. 30th called Trauma to Triumph. There will be aware Narcissists speaking, Professional Therapists speaking, and Survivors (such as myself) sharing. And I will be leading a short guided meditation. VIP tickets will be available .
Follow & Stay tuned for details! Raven Scott
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Raven Scott is an Ambassador of gain your sparkle back after narcissist abuse and Coach helping empaths heal from their black sheep wound through her transformational program.
As an international author, narcissist abuse recovering coach, Podcast host of Empath & Narcissist and creator of Embracing your Black Sheep Program she is dispelling the narcissist power one soul at a time.
Raven Scott is providing women, who are feeling lost and alone in their journey, a community to kick ass as we become empowered together while healing from childhood trauma, abusive relationships, or plain old life, and awaken to rewrite our karmic story. Through astrology, self care, human design, & intuition.
We are energetically clearing ancestral patterns one step at a time to find our power and potential through healing so you can live empowered the unique loved individual you desire to be. Topics covered: Self development, Human design, Astrology, tarot, meditative thoughts, intuitive message from spirit, and expert guests sharing different spiritual healing modalities.
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