Why Leaving The Narcissist is Hard! A Special Episode Featuring Raven on The Process Star107fm! I didn’t speak specifically to what I just shared below, I shared my story, and how the process leaving the narcissist was messy, and my personal growth helped come out in the end to be so rewarding.
Mark has a show every Saturday morning. At 10:00 AM Eastern time. Mark V. The Smith is a motivational speaker. And host. Of his own radio show, the process.
And if you go back to that episode that we did together on my show, he shared with us in episode 38.
“There are 86,400. Seconds in a day. And what are we doing with our time?”… Mark V Smith-Mark V Smith
Listen to Podcast
When Narcissistic Breadcrumbing Behavior Keeps You from Real Love – Empath And the Narcissist: Spiritual Healing with Human Design from Trauma & Narcissistic Abuse
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“There are 86,400. Seconds in a day. And what are we doing with our time?”… Mark V Smith
Yes, but when it comes to the tug of war on your mind, leaving the narcissist is such an easy concept for people outside of the situation. Why is it so hard on the inside?
There are a few factors at play, so while you are in this battle for your mind and sanity, be patient with yourself, and know when you are ready the time will come.
“ (After 8 years of abuse) I got to the point where I was like, honestly, being with nobody, having no one else loved me is much better than the pain and cycle that I’m experiencing with this person. “ — Raven Scott
This is why you didn’t leave the narcissist early. And no, you are not crazy. The Narcissist has twisted your compass of right and wrong and up and down so much to cover their own faults that you are spinning. That’s a normal response from narcissistic abuse.
They normalize their abuse.
They do not abuse you all the time. They do it intervals and mix it with good treatemnt. It confuses your nervous system because you receive two versions of the persons. When your brain and nervous system receive mixed signals you become disoriented. It is not your fault to hold on to the good times and hope the storm will pass.
They play on your good nature and forgiveness
The more you stay the more you get the mix of good and bad treatment. With them abusing you, then making up to you (without apologizing). You start thinking this is my life. They are just upset because I triggered them. Because they have convinced you that their abuse is a direct reaction to an error you made. You think: I just need to do this (fill in the blank) for them to stop getting mad at me. Your brain justifies they are getting made, but in reality they are mistreating you consistently. That is called abuse.
Leaving the Narcissist is scary
Because you have become accustomed to they hot and cold emotional life, you numb yourself. Alcoholism, eating disorders, numbing, cutting, retail over-shopping, and other harmful coping mechanisms are common amongst victims. Even though this is your new normal and you know it’s not healthy, leaving or drawing a boundary in how they treat you or talk to you is scary.
They have brainwashed you into thinking they will never let you go and do horrible things to you or your children if you leave. They have convinced you, no one will love you except them because you are so “flawed.” They have threatened you with lawsuits and custody battles. They have or are controlling you with taking all your money away or not giving you any of your “allowance” or access to their controlled bank accounts.
Let me tell you. It takes courage to call their bluff on the threats that they spew. And leave or file for full custody anyways. And it does need to take some smart maneuvering consulting with a professional therapist, social worker, and or attorney.
The most difficult thing is to leave because you hold onto the hope for the way things were at the beginning of the relationship. And for how things can be in between the maltreatment.
I believe if you are still in the relationship and are afraid to leave you are extremely brave. But ask yourself — will you stand in your power and take back your life again? or will you be kept prisoner grasping for your sanity?
I know there is a bright light inside you. Will you muster your immense bravery you already have to finally break the emotional ties with the narcissist?
What red flags from this show did you recognize today? Let me know in comments below.
And share with your friends! Take a Screenshot and add to your stories! Tag me @ravenscottshow on IG so we can connect with you!
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