Why Leaving the Narcissist is Hard! | S4 Ep 65

Why Leaving The Narcissist is Hard! A Special Episode Featuring Raven on The Process Star107fm! I didn’t speak specifically to what I just shared below, I shared my story, and how the process leaving the narcissist was messy, and my personal growth helped come out in the end to be so rewarding. 

Mark has a show every Saturday morning. At 10:00 AM Eastern time. Mark V. The Smith is a motivational speaker. And host. Of his own radio show, the process.

And if you go back to that episode that we did together on my show, he shared with us in episode 38.

“There are 86,400. Seconds in a day. And what are we doing with our time?”… Mark V Smith

-Mark V Smith
Photo by Lucxama Sylvain on Pexels.com

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Transcript Below

How to Embrace your Queen Energy and Shed the Narcissist's Control with Lady Portia Empath And The Narcissist: Healing Guide from Abuse and PTSD

"Don’t give two shits about what anybody else thinks dance to the beat of your own drum. " – Marcus Hunter NeilLearn how to rid yourself of the toxic narcissist in your life and step up into your own queen power. Today I share a conversation with Marcus Hunter Neil pioneer drag queen Lady Portia Instagram: https://instagram.com/ladypandme (@ladypandme) Marcus is a MindValleys Irish Ambassador, Coach, TedTalker, Podcaster, Pioneer Drag Queen, Ambassador for the NSPCC Here are some key moments: Being with a narcissist is like Grey Gardens pretending to be glitterati while you’re living in a dilapidated house. “ No one sets out to actively be a narcissist and the victim of a narcissist. It just happens.“ It's the narcissists personality. Be your own wing man, defend yourself and take no mistreatment Relationship should be a want not a need No matter how much self work you do if you and the other person are not a fit you are not a fit Know your values know your worth. Because if you don’t have standards then you will shape shift for whomever you’re with. Do not put anybody even royalty on a pedestal because we are all human beings at the end of the day Here’s a test exercise can you list five things that you love about your narcissistic partner? if not then you are stuck in a scenario in the wrong environment and you’re making excuses each day as to why you will not break up with them.  Love yourself radically. Be secure enough in your own skin no matter what happens when you come out on the other side it will all be fine.  https://the-thriving-intuitive.captivate.fm/https-bit-ly-3xjlfvb (Trauma 2 Triumph FREE Ticket) Follow and DM me http://intagram.com/ravencottshow (@ravencottshow )"free gift" to get your FREE Draw Powerful Boundaries Workshop Better Help : https://betterhelp.com/empath (Empath get 10% off your first month) Empath & The Narcissist https://ravenscott.show/empath-and-the-narcissist (Book) : Support the Show Get Human Design Reading:https://ravenscott.show/shop ( SHOP ) Grab coaching sessions and more FREE Gifts on the website http://Ravenscott.show/blog (Ravenscott.show) Madhvi – https://madhvi.ca (Emotion Code FREE Inquiry Call) Music YouTube Library: Til I Let Go by Neffex Mentioned in this episode: Trauma 2 Triumph Summit https://the-thriving-intuitive.captivate.fm/https-bit-ly-3xjlfvb (Trauma 2 Triumph FREE Ticket)
  1. How to Embrace your Queen Energy and Shed the Narcissist's Control with Lady Portia
  2. Emotional Damage and Recovery from Narcissistic Abuse through the Emotion Code
  3. How to Relieve Anxiety from Narcissistic Abuse through your Gut with Camila Smith
  4. Why Empaths Attract Narcissists with Soulmate Coach Jeanne Sullivan Billeci
  5. 16 Self Care Tips for Libra Season – Bonus
Host/Guest today Raven Scott
Host Mark V Smith

Follow Mark on his Socials & YouTube

Follow Raven on her Socials & YouTube

“There are 86,400. Seconds in a day. And what are we doing with our time?”… Mark V Smith

Yes, but when it comes to the tug of war on your mind, leaving the narcissist is such an easy concept for people outside of the situation. Why is it so hard on the inside? 

There are a few factors at play, so while you are in this battle for your mind and sanity, be patient with yourself, and know when you are ready the time will come. 

“ (After 8 years of abuse) I got to the point where I was like, honestly, being with nobody, having no one else loved me is much better than the pain and cycle that I’m experiencing with this person. “ — Raven Scott

This is why you didn’t leave the narcissist early. And no, you are not crazy. The Narcissist has twisted your compass of right and wrong and up and down so much to cover their own faults that you are spinning. That’s a normal response from narcissistic abuse. 

Photo by Nathan Cowley on Pexels.com

They normalize their abuse.

They do not abuse you all the time. They do it intervals and mix it with good treatemnt. It confuses your nervous system because you receive two versions of the persons. When your brain and nervous system receive mixed signals you become disoriented. It is not your fault to hold on to the good times and hope the storm will pass. 

Photo by Ketut Subiyanto on Pexels.com

They play on your good nature and forgiveness

The more you stay the more you get the mix of good and bad treatment. With them abusing you, then making up to you (without apologizing). You start thinking this is my life. They are just upset because I triggered them. Because they have convinced you that their abuse is a direct reaction to an error you made. You think: I just need to do this (fill in the blank) for them to stop getting mad at me. Your brain justifies they are getting made, but in reality they are mistreating you consistently. That is called abuse.

Photo by Catalin Pop on Unsplash

Leaving the Narcissist is scary

Because you have become accustomed to they hot and cold emotional life, you numb yourself. Alcoholism, eating disorders, numbing, cutting, retail over-shopping, and other harmful coping mechanisms are common amongst victims. Even though this is your new normal and you know it’s not healthy, leaving or drawing a boundary in how they treat you or talk to you is scary.

They have brainwashed you into thinking they will never let you go and do horrible things to you or your children if you leave. They have convinced you, no one will love you except them because you are so “flawed.” They have threatened you with lawsuits and custody battles. They have or are controlling you with taking all your money away or not giving you any of your “allowance” or access to their controlled bank accounts. 

Let me tell you. It takes courage to call their bluff on the threats that they spew. And leave or file for full custody anyways. And it does need to take some smart maneuvering consulting with a professional therapist, social worker, and or attorney.  

The most difficult thing is to leave because you hold onto the hope for the way things were at the beginning of the relationship. And for how things can be in between the maltreatment. 

I believe if you are still in the relationship and are afraid to leave you are extremely brave. But ask yourself — will you stand in your power and take back your life again? or will you be kept prisoner grasping for your sanity?

I know there is a bright light inside you. Will you muster your immense bravery you already have to finally break the emotional ties with the narcissist? 

when you are controlled by a narcissist you will never reach your true potential as a beautiful human being. There is hope though! You are here to elevate the collective and evolve in your souls journey. The dark egoistic people are drawn to your empathic light – like a moth to the light.

Raven Scott
What red flags from this show did you recognize today? Let me know in comments below.

And share with your friends! Take a Screenshot and add to your stories! Tag me @ravenscottshow on IG so we can connect with you!

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Transcript

Raven Scott

Raven Scott is providing women, who are feeling lost and alone in their journey, a community to kick ass as we become empowered together while healing from childhood trauma, abusive relationships, or plain old life, and awaken to rewrite our karmic story. Through astrology, self care, human design, & intuition.
We are energetically clearing ancestral patterns one step at a time to find our power and potential through healing so you can live empowered the unique loved individual you desire to be. Topics covered: Self development, Human design, Astrology, tarot, meditative thoughts, intuitive message from spirit, and expert guests sharing different spiritual healing modalities.
Your host and Patreon Community mentor, Raven Scott, is a narcissitic abuse survivor, author of Empath and The Narcissist: A Healing Guide for People Pleasers. And also is a Certified Meditation Teacher. Join us on http://Patreon.com/soulcollective9

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Published by Raven Scott

As an international author, narcissist abuse recovering coach, Podcast host of Empath & Narcissist and creator of healing workshops. She is dispelling the narcissists' power one soul at a time.

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