What is projection in narcissistic abuse and how to narcissists manipulate the empath? Narcissists project their errors and flaws onto you, convincing you they are perfect and you need to improve; Tips to deal with projection.
“We can only control how we respond to it”
– Dr. Marni Hill Foderaro
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When Narcissistic Breadcrumbing Behavior Keeps You from Real Love – Empath And the Narcissist: Spiritual Healing with Human Design from Trauma & Narcissistic Abuse
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“Narcissists will accuse you of what they are doing to deflect the situation and to absolve themselves of responsibility.”
Dr. Marni Hill Foderaro
Every Thursday I have been airing episodes on the Empath and the Narcissist podcast with amazing guests. July 7, 2022 guest, Marni Hill Foderaro, is no exception. She is a Dr. in Education, an award winning best selling author, and survivor of narcissistic abuse.
You can listen to the whole episode above; and I’ve listed the most impactful takeaways below.
Projection in psychology is: The mental process by which people attribute to others what is in their own minds. — Britannica
For example a Narcissist who is insensitive shame and blame others are insensitive, and it drives the victim crazy.
This is a powerful technique use by the narcissist. They refuse to own their faults and take responsibility, in turn blaming others and projecting their insecurities onto their victims. When narcissists use projection, this is a calculated tactic to manipulate their targets and control their minds.
The amazing moment is when you realize they are revealing themselves to you through this technique. Their projections reveal their bad qualities when they are shoving them onto you. They accuse you of the very things they are guilty of.
Tips to Deal with Narcissist Projecting
1. Know the phrases
Educate yourself and know the certain phrases the narcissists use to project their faults onto you. And when you hear them you will know to deflect and ignore this abuse. Some examples are,
“I’m in a bad mood? You’re the one in a bad mood. You just can’t see past your own bad attitude.”
“I’m overreacting? You’re overreacting.”
“I’m not the one with trust issues, you are.”
In addition to knowing the phrases research terminology. Knowledge is power, especially with these master mind manipulators.
Important terminology to start with is:
Gaslighting, Baiting, NPD, Boundaries, Co-dependent, Cognitive Dissonance
2. Listen to your gut
Your gut is your intuition. Your intuition is directly connected to your soul and higher self that knows the authentic truth. The mind will justify, explain and rationalize whatever conclusion we desire. The mind deceives us and distracts us from the feeling we have in our body that warns us to leave a dangerous situation.
This is why pausing to have alone quiet time, meditation, walking in nature without the offender, and / or yoga practice to find space in your life to listen to your intuition. Find quiet times to pray, journal, and even connect with your Spirit Guides will allow you to gain the wisdom you need.
This is the most simple tip, yet in this world the hardest to accomplish.
3. Practice Inner Growth Work and know yourself
To all you empaths out there chasing fake love, this is for you. I feel your anguish. The trick in breaking that painful cycle, with a love, a sibling, or a parent is to stop chasing and start fostering love for your own self. Relationships are a two way street. A game of tennis. If you find you are always serving and “the ball” (effort) is not being hit back over the net, then you are currently investing in a one sided relationship.
What is meant for you will be. The people that want to be in your life will show up and be present. You don’t need to convince, manipulate, or figure out how to have someone present. If this resonates and you feel a slight ache in your gut as you read this, you have experienced this unpleasant interaction.
You are worthy of true love, worthy of light, worthy of truth, worthy of joy, worthy of laughter in the bedroom, worthy of delight and worthy of living your truest self’s purpose. Start searching and looking within yourself to find your treasures within yourself designed by the Divine to bless other people in this world. And those who aim to bring you down are already below you.
Practice this guided Inner Child Meditation to heal any trauma, pain, or expectations imposed on you at a very young age. This clears out the negative energy, releases you from their expectations and pain. This energy gets passed down from one generation to another. This is a way to remove those burdens and break the chords of the past.
4. Set Boundaries to remove toxic behaviors
Men and women young and old, listen up! You are a badass! No matter what you think, you are beautiful, unique and powerful.
Thank yourself and your body for how spirituous it is, and own your self sovereignty. You are allowed to say “No.”
Anytime you feel uncomfortable, if you are finding yourself in a situation with somebody whom you may really like, but they are not respecting your body and your soul, then they are not listening to your boundaries, and therefore they are not respecting you. Don’t allow them power over you so they make you feel guilty with their words or their actions. Or make you feel like you’re worth nothing and you’re a loser if you don’t do what they want.
Their feelings are not your fault, and you are not the loser. They don’t know how to deal with the rejection or not getting their way.
When you say “No” you are making a healthy choice for yourself and the other party. Healthy lovers are able to talk and laugh and joke and grow and communicate through the process of being intimate.
Have I made myself very clear? You have self sovereignty over your life. To say “No” is your right and you have the power. You deserve someone who can respect you and be able to easily, and with no offenses taken, move along and be flexible to what you’re comfortable with and your wishes.
The Empath and Narcissists relationship doesn’t start out as the heartache cycle that it becomes. It was a gradual process, like rose smelling quicksand.
Start your healing process in this FREE Workshop, 4 Ways Empaths can Set Powerful Boundaries.
Always keep your unique light shining.
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-Raven Scott
YouTube Video
Transcript
How to master your boundaries:
- Envision yourself saying NO
- Feel the power of your self sovereignty
- Dream of yourself saying NO
- Step into your courage, pushing through fear, and taking action to say NO.
- Be detached with the others emotional response (which may be like a child’s temper tantrum)
Raven’s Book
Over the past decade Raven Scott has first, exited an abusive relationship, then found her healing and renewal through the very tools she shares in this book. This “incredibly relatable story is a healing guide that weaves a story of an empath growing up, struggling with codependency, and loving a narcissist. It guides you in transforming yourself from low self esteem, PTSD, emotional abuse, to a strong, confident, and renewed soul.
PLUS! It includes a bonus chapter on the basic overview of Human Design -Your soul’s unique blueprint.
Grab your copy of this book on SALE today! available on Amazon NOW!
Don’t take my word for it. Listen to this 1 of many reviews:
“This guide book is clearly written to serve those committed to healing and honoring their highest nature. this book is A must read on your self discovery journey!” – Abigail Gazda
The link below.
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when you are controlled by a narcissist you will never reach your true potential as a beautiful human being. There is hope though! You are here to elevate the collective and evolve in your souls journey. The dark egoistic people are drawn to your empathic light – like a moth to the light.
Raven Scott
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Know yourself more intimately on an energetic level!
All those who’ve I’ve help with this have told me what freedom they have now that they know their design and strategy.
“I salute the Divinity in you.”
– Indian brotherhood
With personal experience of being her family’s black sheep, she has embraced her solo path and dominates breaking toxic ancestral patterns.
She is an Ambassador of gain your sparkle back after narcissist abuse.
And Coach helping empaths heal from their black sheep wound through her transformational program.
Through grounded and heart centered teachings she elevates the spiritual journey and concepts that you are uniquely magnificent and contrary to your doubts, you are here for a purpose.
Her unique approach to addressing the souls journey v the ego’s protection mode, gives men and women hope and clarity of their themes they are meant to grow from.
As an international author, narcissist abuse recovering coach, Podcast host of Empath & Narcissist and creator of Embracing your Black Sheep Program she is dispelling the narcissist power one soul at a time.