Let Go of the Narcissist Causing you inner Turmoil 6 Ways to Nurture yourself in Cancer Season
“The biggest effect on your love life is to love yourself as you wish they loved you. ”– @ravenscottshow
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“You have this deep wound and it triggers you and it upsets you and you spiral and you feel like crap. You feel like nobody loves you. That’s NOT true. And all you have to do is focus on loving yourself.” – Raven Scott
Today I share my new revelations on what I’ve been tying my self worth up in.
And I have an inkling, as a victim of emotional abuse from a narcissist or toxic persons, you have or are doing this too.
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How to let go of a Narcissist emotionally
I get it. I know first hand this is easier said than done. But once you disentangle your emotions and self identity from their thorny vines, you will see clearly and never wish to go back. And you will no longer feel guilt and shame in doing so. You will celebrate life renewed and free. You will thank them for waking you up and life giving you a lesson you needed to learn to grow and expand.
- Recall all the negative things they did and said. This includes the loving “guidance” they were sharing out of “love” for you. “This is for your own good.” Their verbal attacks are strategic to oppress you, to manipulate and gaslight you, and to make you emotionally react. As a result, after you react explosively they then can project their bad nature onto you and blame you, calling you the “crazy” one. This diversion relinquishes them from taking accountability for their actions. They justify their abuse with the phrase.
“I had to hurt you to push you away.”
“I ignore you to teach you a lesson.”
Keep a journal if you have to , to remind yourself of their unhealthy actions that they never apologized for. This evidence will embolden your resolve to leave or stay away.
Stop listening to their rehearsed lies, and pay attention to what they do. Everything will revolve around them. You needs and emotions are ignored and dismissed. Nothing will be their fault. They neglect you emotionally. They only make you feel important to keep you in the hope cycle. They are self centered and have zero empathy. Everyone around them are beneath them, and objects to be used for their own gratification.
2. Keep in mind they said those things on purpose. The narcissist will throw in your face all he/she has done for you. But never say one word of all you have done for them. Ever. And you have done everything and lost everyone for them.
They gaslight and manipulate you because they know it only takes one thing to leave a narcissist forever. That one thing is you accepting reality. Once you know what they are, it’s impossible to stay. So they continue to keep you confused, codependent, and stuck.
3. Think back all chances you gave them and remember how they lied.
You can’t save a narcissist however much you want to. You can’t make them want to be a better person, because they wee nothing wrong with how they treat people. You could waste years of your life, trying to help them. But all you’ll do is slowly lose yourself, while they take everything they can get from you. So instead of trying to save them, do yourself a favor, get away from them and save yourself.
4. Consider if a healthy friend would want to spend time with this person. There is a reason why if you have had a friend try and save you and empower you to leave, but you just can’t and they stop talking to you. It is an average person’s boundary to not watch their friend be abused while knowing that if you just listened and left your turmoil would be solved. This friend also would never socialize with the narcissist in your life after interacting with them one time. Remember they don’t have their emotions clouded and a thick fog of gaslighting propaganda in their head. They can clearly see the toxic selfishness, overly inflated ego, and pious arrogance. If this emotionally mature friend wouldn’t invest in the relationship with him/her, then you should not either. Remember, it’s not your job to save them. (Because I know deep down inside that is one reason you are staying)
6 Ways to Nurture Yourself in Cancer Season
If your Sun, Moon, Ascendant, or many planets in Cancer is. Look in your chart to what house Cancer resides and this energy will influence that aspect of your life.
The traits of Cancer are, defensiveness, emotional, gentle, hospitable, indirect, kind, moody, nostalgic, nurturing, protective, sensitive, traditional, and highly intuitive.
Cancer is ruled by the Moon. And the Moon influences emotions. The Moon and Cancer also represent the Mother Gaya, Kuan Yin, and Mother Mary. This energy is very nurturing with maternal instincts. An example will be mother hen, or a mama bear.
This is the beginning of Summer in Northern Hemisphere and Winter in Southern Hemisphere and is a Cardinal sign. Those with prominent Cancer activation love fresh and new beginnings.
“It’s essential to learn recognize, respect, and meet your own needs. If you don’t take care of them you wind up feeling needy and unfulfilled. “Donna Cunningham
Just as a hermit crab, Cancerian energy can cause you to retreat and hermit, isolating yourself. But, find a safe therapist, mentor, or friend to pull you out of your shell and ask for help. When you are trying to leave a narcissist and heal from the abuse, you must have community support to establish your trust in human beings again.
Here are the six ways to nurture yourself and enjoy Cancer Season including Cancer specific Self Care.
- Do BBQ. Eating with friends creates social bonds. Please do it safely outside, as Covid is more infectious in 2022 than in 2020.
- Do nostalgic of summer activities. It seems like a “no-brainer” with the temperatures rising. But as you go to the beach, lake, or pool and swim, pause and tap into the fun in sun memories of your life before the narcissist. Recreate them for you to heal and have fun now post narcissist.
- Look back at photo albums. Physical or in your phone, you have loads to laugh, and be proud of yourself about. Looking back to see where you were compared to now is always a great emotional strengthening tool because we get so caught up in the idea that we have not attained enlightenment. Remember this life is a journey, day by day. Even if you are just waking up to the fact you are in a relationship with a narcissist, that is incredible progress! You are not stuck in the nightmare anymore.
- Hug a Cancer today. Hug a friend and also hug yourself. Take a deep breathe, put your hand on your belly (which symbolized the Mother space in your body), and say “It is safe to be in my body.”
- Watch a documentary on helpful nonprofits. A great example of a Caner is Chef Jose Andres and World Central Kitchen. The documentary is We Feed People on Disney + and Hulu.
- Self care for triggers and hidden trauma that will be illuminating during some major transits during this 2022 season. The following are Cancer sign specific holistic wellness to focus on.
Areas of your self care and health to focus on June 21- July 22
Trust your gut. Reduce Caffeine. Be mindful of food allergies. Eat slow and enjoy your meal to reduce heartburn. Your stomach may be tied up in knots, especially if you are dealing with mustering up your bravery against the narcissist, or to leave with just the shirt on your back. Dealing with the anxiety of what is next and the aftermath during recovery is another part I remember turn my stomach upside down. Make time each day to relax and calm your nervous system and anxious gut. A meditation ritual is highly recommended for this. Find your favorite in the Meditation Playlist on Raven Scott Show YouTube channel.
Be aware of emotional eating. Always have water on hand to sip instead of nosh. If you need the chewing to pacify your oral fixation, chew gum, carrots, celery or low-calorie, healthy finger food.
When it comes to meal time, enjoy the process of cooking and unleash your inner chef. Nurturing your body while you nurture your spirit by cooking your own meals infuses love into yourself.
Cancerians have a strong tie to family as a sense of security. I cannot imagine the pain you endured while you were isolated from them. Nurture the link to your ancestral line by taking a cooking class of your cultural heritage and cook with your family member(s).
Soothe your sinuses and allergies with decongestants, vitamin C, and a neti pot. Avoid dairy which can aggravate the inflammation.
Nourishing foods for Cancers and the season are brassica vegetables and fermented soy foods. Consider the summer and winter squash for a smooth soothing texture to reduce acid in your stomach. Brassica vegetables are broccoli, cabbage, cauliflower, watercress, and mustard greens. Sauerkraut and Korean kimchi are delicious cabbage-based dishes you can easily top your dinner plate.
Reduce water retention by avoiding overly salty foods and drink adequate water. Potassium helps with fluids balance, make sure you get adequate amounts through your diet. Fruits and vegetables such as leafy greens, melons, citrus, and bananas.
Breasts and womb
The brassica vegetables are also know as crucifers, their unique sulfur-containing nutrients help the liver neutralize cancer-causing chemicals. This could explain why research has suggested that women who regularly eat brassica vegetables have a lower risk of developing breast cancer.
Regularly scheduled gynecological appointments and self exams are important for early breast cancer detection.
As a water dweller crab of Cancerians, soak up in hydrotherapy. An underwater massage, epsom salt soaking tub, and foot soaks benefit and wash away the turmoil. Alternate hot and cold water in the shower is most refreshing immune-system-boost therapy.
Milk bath with flower-infused water followed by a body wrap to allow the milk’s lactic acid gently exfoliates your skin.
Regularly schedule “Me time”
Take a day or few hours to las in the bath, try out new recipe, read a trashy novel, or do whatever lights you up. Since Cancererian energy is driven so much by the moon schedule your time of solitude and inner growth around the New Moon June. 28 2022 and Full Moon July 13, 2022. is incredibly potent.
Exercising in the water, the natural environment of the Cancerian crab, it is very relaxing, stress-free and low impact cardiovascular workout. Get your goggles on, grab a kick board in jump in that pool!
This sign is deeply connected to family and roots. To better understand to know how to break the ancestral curses, create a family tree, or research your lineage. This can also be a nostalgic and sentimental way to bring on a state of peace. Find your healed ancestor through the Healed Ancestor guide Mediation on Raven Scott Show Meditation Playlist.
Jasmine is governed by the Moon, which is the ruling planet of Cancer Zodiac. The strong sweet fragrance is intoxicating and strong; especially when night falls, it gets stronger. It’s a powerful aphrodisiac. It really opens up this deep nurturing instincts of the Cancer energy. It’s sensual and itt can help, if you have a healthy partner, for deep connection. A beautiful couples massage would be bonding. Use the jasmine oil mixed with a carrier oil, such as, Jojoba.
Hyssop essential oil can help in your digestive system. So if you’re dealing with stress in your stomach and you feel like you’re having food allergies or can’t eat something or maybe you were starting to develop an autoimmune disease in your stomach. It probably isn’t a disease. It probably is just an allergy to the narcissist in your life. And what I found, is once I left, my allergy suddenly went away because the stress went away. So when you’re dealing with this stress, look for hyssop, it’s known as an herb of protection. (Always consult your healthcare professional to gain informed diagnosis.)
Hyssop is an herb of protection thought to help fortify the boundaries of those, like the crab who absorb other people’s worries and stress.
Clary Sage is a classical essential oil for women used to relieve menstrual cramps, as well as menopausal symptoms, such as hot flashes. It’s well known for its sweet and euphoric fragrance, which elevates moods and centers emotions.
Sage is also something you burn to cleanse out the negative, energies and spirits of a space. As its name suggests, it provides you with wisdom and clarity, both in thoughts and feelings. It is a wonderful, essential oil during your menstrual cycle, adds some to your body lotion and rub it on your belly to alleviate the cramps and the bloating and a warm bath.
With a few drops of clarity. Sage creates an enchanting relaxation ritual.
Standing Forward Fold
The standing forward bend. It’s crucial and important for your hips, hamstrings in calves.
Easy Alternate Breathing
Easy sitting with alternate nostril breathing. That is a beautiful exercise to do where you. Breathe in one nostril by closing the other with your thumb and then out the other nostril, closing it with your middle finger and your alternating.
Breathe in one, breathe out the other. Continue that for 12 rounds.
Legs up the wall
Lay on your back and you put your legs up on the wall, and this really helps with your hips. And you’re a butt and it’s just a really, really calming, soothing nurturing one.
It’s the most soothing and nurturing position. It’s something that your body naturally does when you react from trauma. Sometimes even when you’re sleeping, you sleep on your side like that. It feels like home and comfort and is the position you felt the most safe for 9 months in the womb. Which is significant to Cancerian energy; the mother energy.
So if you at any time, you need to do that to feel safe in your body, please do this pose to feel loved, held, and safe. Even if that one person in your life is telling you and making you feel like you’re not and telling you that you are horrible; you are not, you are beautiful. You are loved.
This information from this beautiful guidebook called The Complete Guide to Astrological Self Care: A Holistic Approach to Wellness for Every Sign in the Zodiac. by Stephanie Gailing.
Let go of the narcissist causing your internal turmoil today. I’m sharing with you six ways to nurture yourself in Cancer Season. I’m going to be incorporating different aspects and educating you a bit more about Cancer energy and bringing in some astrological self care and talking also about the human design gate that , the energy is in right now, but the sun is in cancer and we are here to lean into our nurturing of ourselves, lean into our family and maybe reevaluating.
The boundaries, you have the toxicity and the beautiful relationships that you have in your family. And maybe that is just the ones that you can nurture right now for the future generations. We all have a unique experience in our lives. So I cannot pinpoint exactly or put you in a box nor do I want to.
Right. You all have a unique path and complex relationships with all the people in your. So today I share with you how you can focus on what you can control, how you can nurture yourself during this season. So let’s dive in,
welcome to the Raven Scott show and iPath and the narcissist podcast where you regain your sparkle back after narcissist abuse.
The biggest effect on your love life is to love yourself as you wish they loved you. I think this is an important concept to understand, to be able to hold space for yourself, to hold space for your emotions. And right now we are going through that Pluto return of the United States. If you live in the United States, you may be feeling it also around the world, because the United States has such a international influence.
And so. If you are struggling today, if you are feeling sad, know that it’s okay. If you’re feeling mad, it is okay to feel upset and emotional. That’s actually healthy because all of these emotions are going to help us spur on to action, to improve this world and to change the ways things are with the narcissist, ruling or leading the laws in our government.
With so much going on with the attack on women’s rights with the overturn of Roe V. Wade with the hate crimes and the just plain ignoring of the trauma and the loss that we’ve just recently and consecutively been having with gun violence and the Supreme Court passing. The law that you don’t need a license to carry out in public in New York.
We have things going on in all parts of it, you know, even kind of trickling down to feeling this panic effect of is this affecting, you know, gay marriages, contraceptions. What is this going to do to the working class, to those who are in poverty? And all these feelings are really scary, but your feelings are valid and I am sending you so much love and courage today to speak and use your voice to educate those around you, to not hold in, what needs to be spoken, show up and participate in the systems that are in place for us to fight back and to elect out.
All of the narcissists in the government. Maybe we can’t do all. I, I will not be unrealistic to the fact that we just wanted to spell all the narcissism in the world, but if we can be the majority and join together, I think all of us who are on this conscious path, who, are we’re considered the minority are now becoming the majority.
And I truly sense this intuitive feeling that this is like their extra intense fight back because they know. And they’re scared that their ideas they’re antiquated, hurtful, judgemental, just what they don’t think that they are that, but their ideas and ideology is being threatened by the growing minority, becoming the majority.
And for me, that’s hope because they can believe whatever they wanna believe. in their own life, perfectly fine with that. But when you start affecting laws and start controlling others and telling them what to do with their bodies and their belief systems and how, what they read and et cetera, banning books and all that stuff, that’s when it’s toxic.
Right? That’s when the narcissist has said, Hey, you have to live like me. And I’m sure all of you who’ve experienced that know the very, power that they can wield over you through threats and emotional abuse and, accusations and mind manipulation and just plain out evil, right? So we need together to join together and clap back.
We need to vote. As if we are the majority so that the landslides vote, all these Macchavelians, these narcissists out of leadership. Again, the majority, not all. So I digress. We’re gonna head into talking about Cancer season. I just had to get that out of the way to hold space for emotions because Cancer season and Cancer energy is very emotional, very reactive.
So it makes a lot of sense that there’s a lot of activism, reactionary, almost like reactive laws as well, in either good or bad ways. So how do we let go of this narcissistic emotional hold on us. Well, we wanna hold space first for ourselves and to nurture ourselves and I get it. I know firsthand that this is much easier, said than done to release the narcissist in our life.
Whether it be that lover who you think is the only person that’s ever gonna love you, or if it’s a sibling who you just feel like there’s hope to be hold out for that bond to finally click, or if it’s a, a parent or a caretaker who you just feel so enmeshed in your identity, that if you don’t, talk to them anymore, then you’re going.
To feel in a huge amount of shame and blame, and you’re a bad person. And how could you do that and be socially outcast. But once you disentangle your emotions and self identity from their thorny vines, you will see clearly and never wish to go back and you will no longer feel guilt and shame in doing so you will celebrate life.
With renewed energy and free, you will thank them for waking you up and life, giving you a lesson that you needed to learn and to grow and expand through. There is sunshine at the end of the tunnel, there is a rainbow on the other side of the abyss. I can 100% firsthand attest to this. So the first thing that you need to do to be able to let go of these, negative emotions, and the negative influence of the narcissist that they have on your emotions is to recall all the negative things that they did to you and all the negative things that they said to you.
This includes the loving guidance they were sharing out of love for you. Right. They’re always saying this is for your own good. They say. But their verbal attacks are strategic to oppress you, to manipulate you, to Gaslight you and to make you emotionally react. Then as a result, after you react exclusively, they then can protect their bad nature onto you.
And to blame you calling you the crazy one, this diversion, relinquiss them from taking accountability for apologizing for. Being held responsible for their actions and they justify their abuse with the phrase quote, I had to hurt you to push you away. Or they would say, I ignore you to teach you a lesson.
So keep a journal. If you have to, to remind yourself of their unhealthy actions that they’re never apologized for, this evidence will embolden you to resolve, to leave or to stay away and resist their love bombing and resist this false hope that there’s real love there waiting for you. If you just go back.
Stop listening to their rehearsed lies and pay attention to what they do. Everything will revolve around them. This is one thing you can look at in their actions. I’m giving you these hints and clues, if you’re not sure because they’ve twisted your brain around so much your needs and your emotions are ignored and dismissed.
Nothing will be their fault. They neglect you emotionally, right? They ignore you. They don’t reach out and invest in their relationship. They let you run away and they wait for you to feel guilty and call them. They only make you feel important to keep you in this hope cycle. This is called the love bombing, healthy relationships you will receive consistent love.
It will not be conditional. It will, of course include some conversations and possibly some conflicts, but you’ll always feel supported. You’ll always feel heard and loved even at the end of a difficult conversation. So you will always feel important to them because they love you versus a fake love, a fake, false hope of love by making you feel important one day and the next day making you feel like you are worth nothing.
Narcissists are self centered and have zero empathy. Empathy is an emotional skill where you can put yourself in someone else’s shoes, see how they live, see how they may be feeling and adjust your behavior accordingly with a healthy guilt around, you know, how you’ve affected someone in a negative way.
They don’t have that. They have no remorse. They have no. They they’re cold, cold-hearted cold emotions. And everyone around them are beneath them is another attitude they carry, right? They are better than everybody and everyone around them that are beneath them are also objects to be used for their own gratification.
Now, the second thing you need to do is to keep in mind that they said those things on purpose. Now all your journals, you, you might justify and say, well, I made the mistake by pushing them too far. Or I said this or I was selfish, or I asked for too much and you’ll start to justify away all the things that they said, but the narcissist says these things on purpose.
The narcissist will throw. back in your face, all that he or she has done for you, they will pull it back up. They will never say one word of all you have done for them. They will never say like, oh, you know what? You did this for me. And I really appreciate it.
However, I need this done for me. Or I also did this for you. Tip forte is also not a healthy way, but I, I would say the narcissist never will acknowledge what you’ve done for them ever. And you know what? You’ve done a lot for them, right? You’ve sacrificed everything. You’ve lost everyone for them, and they will never acknowledge that they Gaslight you and manipulate you because they know it only takes one thing to leave a narcissist forever.
And that one thing is you accepting reality. Once, you know what they are, it’s impossible to stay. So they continue to keep you confused codependent and stuck. Number three, think back into all the chances that you gave them and remember how they lied. You can’t save a narcissist. You gave them so many chances thinking that you could save them thinking that they could be better thinking that they were healthy human beings that just tripped.
And made a mistake, but you can’t make them want to be a better person because They believe that they’ve done nothing wrong with how they’ve treated people. You could literally waste years and years of your life trying to help. But all you will really do is slowly lose your, lose yourself while they take everything that they can to get from you. So instead of trying to save them, do yourself a favor and get away from them, save yourself and nurture yourself.
End the cycle by ending the contact. Number four is consider if a healthy friend would wanna spend time with this person. Now there is a reason why, if you, by chance still have one healthy friend or at the beginning, you had friends trying to save you and empower you to leave, but you just can’t, you just couldn’t and they stopped talking to you.
It’s painful. You’ve lost your friend to be loyal to this person abusing you. And you don’t see them as abusing you to be loyal to them. I get that. I, I was in that, but once you’re out and you’re clear and your friend is saying to you, they are abusing you. The average person’s boundary. They can’t tolerate watching their friend be abused anymore.
While knowing that if you just listened and left your turmoil, this problem will be solved. So most people don’t have that stay power, stamina to hold on, to help that friend right. To help you and his friend also would never, and has clearly stated to you, they will never socialize with the narcissist in your life after interacting with them one time.
And for me, I personally have been a bit confused cuz my, narcissist in my life interacted with mine one time. and he immediately said, Nope, don’t want anything to do with them, but that was out of, and I’m better than them. I’m above them mindset versus this is unhealthy. I do not want or tolerate this energy in my life.
Right. So there’s two different mind reasonings of why they will not participate or interact with someone. So again, look at the actions of the narcissist versus the healthy person saying I’m drawing a boundary. I’m not gonna socialize with them ever again. And remember, they don’t have their emotions.
Clouded your friend. Isn’t in the thick fog of gas, lighting and propaganda in their head. Like you are. They can clearly see the toxic selfishness, overly inflated ego in pious, Arrogant, and if the emotionally mature friend
wouldn’t invest in the relationship with him or her, then you should not either remember it’s not your job to save them because I know deep down inside that is the one, maybe of a couple reasons why you are staying.
So here are the six ways that I would recommend for you to nurture yourself in the Cancer season. If your sun, moon or ascendant in your astrological natal chart, or maybe you have many planets in cancer is in cancer. Look in your chart to see. What house also Cancer resides. And this energy will influence that aspect of your life.
You will feel this intensely and the traits of cancer are defensiveness, emotional, gentle, hospitable, indirect kind, moody, nostalgic, nurturing, protective sensitive, traditional and highly intuitive .Cancer is ruled by the moon and the moon influences emotions. The moon and Cancer also represent the mother Gaia Quen, and the mother, Mary.
This energy is very nurturing with maternal instincts. An example would be a mother hen or a mama. This is the beginning of summer in the Northern hemisphere in winter, in the Southern hemisphere. And it’s a Cardinal sign meaning it’s the beginning of something. Those with prominent cancer activation love fresh and new beginnings.
It’s essential to learn, recognize, respect, and meet your own needs. If you don’t take care of them, you wind up feeling needy and unfulfilled in this Donna Cunningham.
Just as a hermit crab, Cancerian energy can cause you to retreat and hermit. Isolating yourself, which can also be in the human design line two. But, uh, find a safe therapist instead, a mentor or a friend to pull you out of your shell and ask for help. When you are trying to leave a narcissist and heal from the abuse, you must have community and support to establish your trust and human beings.
, Every time it hits the summer or winter solstice in the human design chart, it is in the gate of 15. Now, what does that mean?
Gate 15 is the gate of humanity. It’s a deep and grounding energy. This gate is of inclusivity. ironically and equality and it celebrates life and humanity. This gate is called Extremes and in the E-Ching it is called modest. It is located in the G center, which is also known as the self-identity center, which is the fourth down from the top diamond. And it’s powerful multifaceted energy. This gate of extremes is particularly extremes in rhythm with this gate, if you have it defined or. undefined, but mostly if you have this gate defined, you’re always trying to find your rhythm, but it’s changing all the time. If you can find consistent rhythm, it will be different and extreme. This can sometimes make relationships challenging, especially if a person with gate 15 is in a relationship with a person with gate.
Which is the connecting gate down in the sacral center. So if there’s that circuit activating in that relationship, people with gate 15, have a big aura. They’re usually aware of this aura and they try and hide it, but they can’t aura. Maybe in your case, you’ve let the narcissist hide it cuz you’re hiding it.
So you’re like. Keep pushing it down. But the aura of gate 15 walks into a room before the person actually, does people feel you before you walk in? So stop letting everyone or this one person shove that down and hide it. Everyone really is turning around to look at you when you enter. So if you get a lot of looks, then maybe you have this gate to find.
The way that you can find out if you have this gate defined is you can pull up your free chart on jovian archive.com or genetic matrix.com enter your birth information. And the gates are fairly specific to the time you’re born. But if you’re unsure, just try and guess if you’re within 12 hours, you should be fine.
And when a gate is defined, it will be circled in red or. It’ll have like a colored circle around it. And then a tiny bit of that color will fill in the white line. This one particular is heading down towards the sacral. And if you only have 15, then it’s just half of that line will be colored in.
It’s called a gate, a hanging gate gate 15 can lead extreme expressions of love for humanity. This can be a martyr gate in its lowest expression. So be careful you are not playing the victim. Hopefully it is paired with gate 10 so that it can also be about empowerment. Gate 10 is also in the same center.
The self-identity G center, just above to the left. This energy not only gives you a deep connection. To your divine siblings feeling and nurturing them in this Cancer season, but it also ties us to the natural world. It’s the energy of nature flow of animals and the elementals. The energy here clearly shows us that our fate and the fate of the natural world are inextricably intertwined.
And when we work with the fifth gate, we are called to ask ourselves, What 15th gate, I’m sorry. We were called to ask ourselves what contribution we want to make to the world and to our divined siblings. And if you don’t have this defined, I don’t think that you are , you’re not, you know, at left out of this work of interconnecting and understanding how humanity is all interconnected and with nature as well.
I personally don’t have this defined, but I feel this intensely. I feel this need to make sure that humanity is empowered, that you are empowered and to love humanity, inclusively, no matter what skin color, no matter what religion. And I know I, you probably think I’m talking very negatively all the time about Christianity, but I’m only talking about Extreme.
I respect and love your love for Jesus. I love Jesus, but , when it takes it extreme, when it takes it beyond again, affecting and pushing the agenda onto others, that’s when it becomes dangerous. Right? So this gate of extremes, so balance yourself, balance those extremes, and maybe those extremes within you have allowed you to.
Extremely pushed down, right? You extremely hate yourself. You have low self worth, you don’t feel connected to the earth or to humanity or to your core identity because of the trauma and different conditioning and circumstances that have occurred in your development as a child. So affirm yourself that your life, it does add greatness to the humanity.
Your vote matters, your voice matters, your work matters, and it benefits the world except unconditionally the broad spectrum of diversity and rhythm in the world that makes up humanity and surrender to the larger flow of life. I am in awe of the magnific of the significance, magnificence of mankind. Of nature of the Earth, the water, the tall Sequoia trees, the clean air that we currently have that we need to work so hard to continue to keep it is greater than us.
And it is interconnected to our existence and our humanity and our nurturing the earth and mother earth Gaya Quan Yin all of these are the ultimate nurturers connect deeply to them through these different nurturing exercises that you can do during cancer season. So going back to all the ways we can nurture ourselves the six ways to do this and enjoy Cancer season and enjoy life because so long you’ve.
Held down, you’ve been oppressed. You’ve hated life. You’ve numbed your life due to all of this toxic, mindset and emotional abuse. So number one is honestly, it sounds silly, but to barbecue, to eat outside, to eat with friends, to bring back good memories that you have in your life from summers, when there was respite from the abuse or just respite from different things in your life.
Create social bonds. Cancer is all about family and friends, familial things.
Yeah, but also with these beautiful bonds, you’re creating, be safe, do things outdoors, make sure that all the hands are washed. Um, because still, unfortunately in 2022 COVID is more infectious than 2020. And yes, it is not as dangerous. People are less hospitalizations, but there’s still a lot of research to be done about long COVID and those effects number two.
Do nostalgic summer activities. It seems like a no brainer, right? And you probably already want to do them. That’s the energy pulling you into the cancer season and the temperatures are rising. It’s getting hot. So you automatically go to the beach, the lake, the pool, and swim. But while you’re doing this pause and tap into the fun in the sun, the memories of your life.
Before narcissism, maybe you can’t remember. But think of the times where you had a respite, if your parent was narcissistic away from that parent in the pool, swimming, enjoying a vacation, and you had that respite for just a moment from their abuse. Recreate them for yourself to heal again, tap into your inner child, do some cannon balls, do some things that are not quite adult, like to be able to have fun and to really tap into the love for yourself and to nurture yourself as a mother.
number three is to look back at photo albums, physical or in your phone, you have loads of pictures to laugh at. And even if it’s just your immediate family that you’ve created now, there’s many years, you know, the pre there’s these current years, you know, even if you go back two years, five years, there’s still some beautiful, fun memories that you have.
Look. Looking back to see where you were compared to now is a great way also to nurture your emotional stamina, right? Your discipline, you know, comparing how you, how you are now. Is much better than how you were right compared to now is always a great way to strengthen you say, oh, wow. Look at me. I looked like this, or I remember this picture and I thought I was so ugly and now I’ve done all this work and really embrace how beautiful I am without makeup in the mirror.
So you can, see all of these checkpoints and be proud of yourself and celebrate yourself. Remember that this life is a journey day by day. Even if we’re just waking up to the fact that we’re in a relationship with an narcissist that is still incredible progress. Now you’re not stuck in the nightmare anymore and you’re searching and you’re learning and you’re getting tools to be able to break free and grow.
Number four is to hug a Cancer today. Hug a friend and also hug yourself. Take a deep breath. Put your hand on your belly, which symbolizes the mother mother space in your body and say it is safe to be in my body. Taking nice, beautiful breaths and feeling the breath go all the way down, deep into your belly.
This mother space. Hold and nurture yourself. And this is what we do in the inner child meditation on the Ravens Scott show, YouTube channel’s meditation list is place your hand on your belly. Number five is to watch a documentary on helpful. Non-profits it’s a great example of a Cancer, in the world is chef Jose Andreas, and he has, created.
An organization to feed the hungry called World Central Kitchen. And you can watch the documentary it’s called. We Feed People it’s on Disney plus and Hulu .Number six, self care yourself for when triggers happen and hidden trauma. That will inevitably because of all the transit happening come up and be illuminated during this cancer season of 2022.
The following are cancer sign specific holistic wellness to focus on. And again, this is gonna be occurring. Cancer season is June 21st through July 22nd. So your stomach trust your gut and reduce caffeine. Be mindful of food allergies, drink more water, eat slow and enjoy your meals to reduce heartburn.
Your stomach may be tied up in knots, especially if you’re dealing with mustering up the bravery against the narcissist or to leave with just the shirt off your back. Dealing with the anxiety of what is next and the aftermath during the recovery is another part. I remember my stomach being upside down, make time each day to relax and calm your nervous system.
An anxious gut, a meditation ritual is highly recommended for this. So find your favorite meditation in the meditation playlist on the Raven Scott YouTube channel. Be aware of your emotional eating, always have water on hand to step, instead of nache. If you need to do chewing to pacify your oral fixation, that is 100% understandable and okay.
Hold space for that. And chew gum, chew carrots and celery, low calorie food, healthy finger foods to help. When it comes to mealtime, enjoy the process of cooking and unleash your inner chef, nurturing your body. While you nurture your spirit by cooking your own meals. Infuses love into yourself. Can Syrians have a strong tie of family as a sense of security?
So I cannot even imagine the pain that you, if you have cancer in your son or your moon have endured while you were isolated from them. Nurture the link to your ancestral line by taking a cooking class of your culture, heritage, and cook with your family members. And also a side note. I can actually imagine the pain that you have endured if you are not a Cancerian son or moon, because I am not.
Um, while you were isolated from your family, because family is our core and. it’s important to us and it’s painful. So I acknowledge that for all of you. Non-kin Syrians as well. Let’s focus on your sinuses. Really just soothe your sinuses. There may be allergies. Um, you can use decongestants, vitamin C or a Netty pot, avoid dairy, which can aggravate the inflammation.
Um, again, esophagus, um, to not eat anything highly acidic. Um, really focus on your digestive juices. So nourishing foods for cancers and cancer season, um, are Braa vegetables and fermented soy foods. Consider the summer and a winter squash for a smooth soothing texture to reduce acid in your stomach.
Brasica vegetables are broccoli, cabbage, cauliflower, water crest, and mustard greens. Ooh, yum. I know it doesn’t sound amazing, but you can, you can roast these up in the oven or on your barbecue and not even worry about the hot being in your house. Sor and Korean kimchi are delicious cabbage based dishes that you can easily top your dinner plate with.
Again, reduce water reduction by avoiding overly salty foods and drink a lot of water. I think this is pretty basic to be said to drink a lot of water because it’s hot and you’ll get headaches. And dehydrated potassium also helps with fluid balance. So make sure you get adequate amount. Throughout your diet with fruits and vegetables, such as leafy greens, melons, no wonder melons and citrus are so prevalent for summertime and bananas.
Nature knows what we need. These are the seasonal fruits for summer. Now focus on your breast and your womb. Remember that CANI energy is the mother energy. The Braa vegetables are also known as crucifers. Their unique sulfur containing nutrients, help the liver, neutralized cancer causing chemicals.
Another reason to eat whole foods. This could explain why research has suggested that women who regularly eat brasica vegetables. Have a lower risk of developing breast cancer, regularly scheduled gynecological appointments and self exams are important for early breast cancer detection. So if you haven’t had one in a couple years and you’ve just kind of been slacking and putting yourself care on the back burner, call your, your OB, your gynecologist and make that appoint.
Wellness therapies. So water, water, water really can Syrians are water dwellers. So soak up in hydrotherapy, uh, an underwater massage would be super indulgent. Uh, you could soak in a bath with EPSO salts, foot soaks, um, any type of, uh, like a wrap, a body wrap at the, the facilities. Wash away all the turmoil, right?
We need to dissolve all the trauma from our body as well, emotionally and physically. Um, another fun one would be alternating, a hot and cold water shower. So maybe turn on the cold at the end of your shower. Get a boost of that. Refreshing immune boosting therapy of cold water, a milk bath with flour infused water followed by a body wrap to allow the milk’s Lac.
Acid to gently exfoliate your skin would be incredibly healing and fun. I think um, and then regularly schedule me time. I know you haven’t. I know I haven’t. We need to start doing that or continue to regularly schedule me time, take a day or a few hours to take a. To do these certain things. I just suggested maybe you wanna try a new recipe in the kitchen, pop in the podcast while you’re cooking, read a trashy novel, or my book empath, I’m a narcissist.
Continue to educate yourself or do whatever lights you up. Since can Syrian energy is driven so much by the moon schedule, your time of solitude and inner growth around the new moon, which is June 28th, 2022. And the full moon, July 13th, 2022 is incredibly potent.
if you’re really needing to get your body, I think we all need to keep our body in shape as we get older to stay. All of the things of aging that are bad as exercise in the water, right? It’s a natural environment for this crab of cancer. It is very relaxing, stress free and low impact cardiovascular workout.
I’ve just been doing it recently, just going with my kiddos and I’m a, and I, they love to jump. So I just tread water in the deep end and afterwards I feel so. Tired. I’m like, yes, that was an amazing workout. My arms, my legs, my lungs. It’s all really good for you. So get your goggles on, grab a Kickboard and jump into the pool.
Another really amazing thing to kind of deeply connect to your family. Roots is genealogy genealogy projects to better understand and know how to break your ancestral curses. Creating a family tree reconnecting with your healed ancestor. Researching your lineage is a really key component. It’s helped me tremendously.
And this can also be a nostalgic and sentimental way to bring on a state of peace. Find your healed ancestor through the healed ancestor, guided meditation on the meditation list on the Raven Scott show, uh, YouTube channel. So the last two things I wanna share are some essential oils. If you do like them, um, they can be safe.
Just make sure you don’t get pulled into the MLMs of the essential oil world. go to your local, uh, health food store. Grab their all certified organic. They’re all good for you. They’re not evil. They’re not lesser quality. The MLMs essential oils. Aren’t a higher quality. So just. Use moderation and think analytically with your brain, the oil, , the essential oils really they’re derived from a flower or fruit or an herb, and they don’t, , just solely promote physical wellbeing, but they also promote positive sentiments, right emotions.
They help with our state of mind to be more tranquil and joyful. So, if you wanna diffuse these, if you have a diffuser or you wanna purchase one loads of them are on Amazon and just drop a few of these oils into the water and diffuse them in your house. The ones for Cerian season that would be beneficial to purchase are Jasmine, Jasmine flowers, governed by the moon.
Jasmine is one of my most favorite scent the flower on the plant is just so potent. It’s sweet. It’s intoxicating and it’s strong, especially when night falls, it gets stronger. So it’s a powerful aphrodisiac. It really opens up this nurturing, the deep nurturing instincts of the Cerian energy. it’s sensual.
It can help. Also, if you have a healthy partner for like a, , beautiful couples massage, if you wanna use the oil mixed with a carrier oil, such as, , you can even use olive oil, you don’t have to buy the expensive coconut oil or other carrier oils. Yeah. Jojoba is a great oil that’s neutral and also affordable.
You can get at the health food stores. now hiphop is something that I haven’t tried. So I’m kind of curious to, , share with you about, but I’m also excited to try it myself. Hyssop essential oil can help in your digestive, , system. So if you’re dealing with stress in your stomach and you feel like you’re having food allergies or can’t.
, eat something or maybe you were starting to develop an autoimmune disease in your stomach. It probably isn’t a disease. It probably just is an allergy to the narcissist in your life. and what I found is once I left my allergy suddenly went away because the stress went away. So when you’re dealing with this stress, look for hyssop, it’s known as an herb of protection.
And I’m getting this information from this beautiful guidebook is called the complete guide to astrological self care, a holistic approach to wellness for every sign in the Zodiac. So we’ll be going through these by Stephanie Galing. so this herb is an herb of protection. Hyssop is an herb of protection thought to help fortify the boundaries of those, like the crab who absorb other people’s worries and stress.
I think this is the number one essential oil for empaths. What do you think? I think I need to go get this today. And for tradition, loving cancers. It’s nice to know that the hyssop has been around for a very long time. It’s actually mentioned in Bible times in the Bible. So use hyssop in a room diffuser to cleanse the air.
Especially if someone in your house is sick. Hyssop mixed with massage oil makes a great belly balm for upset, stomachs or water retention.
Okay. The last one I’m gonna share with you is Clary Sage. Clary Sage is a classical essential oil for women used to relieve menstrual cramps, as well as menopausal symptoms, such as hot flashes. It’s well known for its sweet and euphoric fragrance, which elevates moods and centers. Emotions. This is all that we need.
Right. sounds so amazing. Sage is also something you burn to cleanse out the negative, energies and spirits, , of a space. As its name suggests, it provides you with wisdom and clarity, both in thoughts and feelings. It is a wonderful, essential oil during your menstrual cycle, adds some to your body lotion and rub it on your belly to alleviate the cramps and the bloating and a warm bath.
With a few drops of clarity. Sage creates an enchanting relaxation ritual.
She also suggests some yoga poses in this book. You can purchase the book if you like, I’m just gonna read them off and then you can Google them. But this one’s pretty standard. The U Utana and as a Virgo, I love the. The health element of life and ringing out the stress through yoga. I feel like I’m just so cleansed afterwards.
So this is the standing forward bend. It’s crucial and important for your hips, hamstrings in calves. And then the other is the easy sitting with alternate nostril breathing. That is a beautiful exercise to do where you. Breathe in one nostril by closing the other with your thumb and then out the other nostril, closing it with your middle finger and your alternating.
Breathe in one, breathe out the other. You wanna continue that for 12 rounds? And then the last yoga pose is legs up the wall. So you lay on your back and you put your legs up on the wall, and this really helps with your hips. And you’re a butt and it’s just a really, really calming, soothing nurturing one.
And once you didn’t mention here, and I’m just gonna intuitively say the most nurturing yoga pose is the fetal position, you know, at the end, right before you go into your corpse pose, you kind of roll to your side, you tuck your knees up into your belly and your. Head is resting. Your ear is resting on your folded arm.
That is called fetal position. It’s the most soothing and nurturing position. , it’s something that your body naturally does, right? When you kind of react from trauma sometimes even when you’re sleeping, sleep on your side like that, it’s. H home and comfort and the womb is all Cancerian energy, the mother energy.
So if you at any time, need to do that to feel safe in your body, please do so you are loved. You are held, you are safe. Even if that one person in your life is telling you and making you feel like you’re not and telling you that you are horrible, you are not, you are beautiful. You are loved, and I want you to focus in on your boundaries, master them because once you do, you won’t have to deal with that toxic, Ugh, toxic grossness, toxic hate toxic energy anymore.
You’ll be released. You’ll be able to say no, you’ll be able to cut them out of your phone. Whatever you need to do. So these all have been beautiful ways. I hope that are supportive for you and helpful during this Cancerian season to let go of a narcissist that is in your life causing you inner turmoil, you have the power, you can do it.
And the biggest effect on your love life that you have, you have the power over. And that effect is to love yourself as you wish. They loved you. Thank you so much for listening to this podcast. If it has benefited you and you really felt that it has supported you, please take a screenshot, share it to your socials and tag me at Raven Scott show so that we can connect and I can continue to support you even more on Instagram.
And, uh, it also shares with your friends, , that you’ve really loved this podcast and it gets the word out to help support even more beautiful souls that need to be free from narcissistic abuse. Please rate and re review this podcast either. If you are on apple, on apple podcast, it tells the algorithm in apple that this is a valuable podcast and it is helping more and more people.
And if you are on Android, you may review this podcast on podchaser. This podcast is up and available to review on that website, pod chaser.com. Thank you so much. I really appreciate you so much. Love to you during this cancer season. Remember, always keep your unique light shining.
Bonus: How to master your boundaries:
- Envision yourself saying NO
- Feel the power of your self sovereignty
- Dream of yourself saying NO
- Step into your courage, pushing through fear, and taking action to say NO.
- Be detached with the others emotional response (which may be like a child’s temper tantrum)
Over the past decade Raven Scott has first, exited an abusive relationship, then found her healing and renewal through the very tools she shares in this book. This “incredibly relatable story is a healing guide that weaves a story of an empath growing up, struggling with codependency, and loving a narcissist. It guides you in transforming yourself from low self esteem, PTSD, emotional abuse, to a strong, confident, and renewed soul.
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Raven Scott is an Ambassador of gain your sparkle back after narcissist abuse and Coach helping empaths heal from their black sheep wound through her transformational program.
As an international author, narcissist abuse recovering coach, Podcast host of Empath & Narcissist and creator of Embracing your Black Sheep Program she is dispelling the narcissist power one soul at a time.
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