Spiritual Hygiene and how loved ones guide us on our life’s journey with Psychic Medium Maria Verdeschi
“Narcissists. They can pick us out. We are the ones that express more joy. We are the ones that can make a rainy day into a sunny day.”– Maria Verdesche
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How Spirit Guides Help Loved Ones Get Rid of Narcissists
“Narcissists. They can pick us out. We are the ones that express more joy. We are the ones that can make a rainy day into a sunny day.” – Maria Verdeschi
Today I share a conversation with Psychic Medium Maria Verdeschi shares how our loved ones on the other side help us realize we are dealing with a narcissist in a relationship.
How you realize your Lover is a Narcissist by Receiving a Message from your Spirit Guide
[00:00:00] Maria Verdeschi: There is no hell I will say that also, when we do cross over there is like this life review that goes on. Absolutely. It happens a lot where. Their loved one will come in. They will tell me what happens. Lot of times, those that really disappointed us were a younger soul, not an older soul. Um, I really do feel most empaths are older souls opened myself saying, wow, where did that get at? How did that help you?
I shoving everything down. It just doesn’t. So I identify with it. I deal with it. And then. You know, sometimes I’ll play music too. After I’ve done all that, then I’ll turn the music on that also brings the energy up. Narcissists. They can pick us out. We are the ones that express more joy. We are the ones that can make a rainy day into a sunny day.
[00:01:16] Raven Scott:
Welcomed Raven Scott show,
to the Empath and the Narcissist podcast.
[00:01:22] Raven Scott: where you regain your sparkle back after narcissist abuse.
Today we have a special guest, Maria Verdeschi she, she is a highly regarded psychic medium speaker, teacher and coach with clients all over the world. At age four, when living on a long island, she started picking up on stuff. And she has been working in the field for well over a decade. Maria is known for her accuracy and detailed information from spirit and delivering the messages with kindness and compassion, many simply state.
She is the real. From the minute you step into a reading with Maria, she will make you feel relaxed. And at ease, Ray explains to you how to be a good sitter. She will tell you about her process and in giving a reading and includes examples. Maria is also the best-selling author of there is no death, only life with a foreword written by celebrity medium.
Thomas, John. And Maria is one of the authors in the best book. The last breath, Maria has a podcast of her own hello from the other side and is also on blog talk radio with her show, reading the signs. Maria teaches classes on mediumship, connecting with your loved ones in spirit and meditation and manifesting.
Maria has also a coaching and mentoring program. Maria has mentored and done many events with celebrity, medium Thomas, John and mentoring classes. And Andy being, uh, Maria is compassionate about people. Understanding the simple truth of there is no death, only life it’s really until we meet again. Thank you so much for being here.
Maria. Welcome. Thank you
[00:03:10] Maria Verdeschi: so much for having me on.
[00:03:13] Raven Scott: It’s a pleasure and I’m excited that we’re really going to be diving in today about narcissism, but also we’re always talking about narcissism here on the podcast, obviously, but we’re going to be getting a different perspective. And I really love the fact that, she’s able to connect with your loved ones who actually are always around us are always trying to guide us, even if we’re ignoring their signs or ignoring their whispers.
And they’re, they’re here to help us and they can see everything from a bird’s eye view. And it’s really hard to when we’re in the thick of it, we’re in the middle of the trees. So, first I want to ask you though, Maria, um, you, what, what is it to you this, um, the skill, was it scary at first to be able to connect with the spirits?
Or how was that process?
[00:04:03] Maria Verdeschi: Um, so I was the four year old that in my room could hear things. And one, I went into my parent’s room and said, can you tell them to leave? They humored me the first time, but then the next night, when I went in, I got yelled at, go to bed. Don’t come in here. So then I didn’t speak of it again.
And I didn’t know what it was. So it wasn’t until much later in life when. It’s like, I kind of knew all along, like, okay, I think I have this connection thing. And um, the first time I went to a medium, it was really funny because I sat down, she goes, you’re like me. And I’m like, what the hell are you talking about?
No, no, you’re a medium. You are like, And so I, I did, I started opening up that door, more, taking some classes, doing some different things to align with it. And I can tell you today, everything I do is really to honor spirit. I live it. I, I do. I walk the walk I try to, and if I don’t walk the walk, I will be the first one to say, you know what?
I’m sorry. You know, and I will. Yeah, yeah, yeah. God or spirit we’re human. We are all human and right.
[00:05:28] Raven Scott: Oh yeah. Yeah. I remember diving into learning about this. Um, actually right after I left my relationship with the narcissist, because I had like a black shadow figure, follow me to my apartment, where I moved.
Like I woke up and it was like staring at me in the corner. And I obviously it’s scared me. And I was like, what is that beyond even understanding about spirit guides and loved ones surrounding you, this like dark shadow figure was really scary. So I dove into studying and watching every single episode of the Dead Files.
I don’t know if you watched that.
[00:06:05] Maria Verdeschi: I do. I do.
[00:06:08] Raven Scott: I felt like that was helpful. Cause she was really careful about like talking to people about it. And I felt like she wasn’t trying to, like, she got really mad at people like ghost hunting people. I don’t know. I felt like she was legit, like trying to honor the spirits versus all these ghost hunters.
Like I didn’t even get into that. So yeah. It’s really interesting. But I wanted to ask you, um, First, before we give, get into how our guys can help us. Maybe some people don’t really understand or believe that there are life cycles or possibly the possibility of believing that there are like reincarnations.
Um, can you talk to us a little bit more about that since you speak to those on the other side?
[00:06:51] Maria Verdeschi: I mean, of course I definitely fully believe in reincarnation. There is no hell I will say that also. When we do cross over there is like this life review that goes on and I see it more in, I want to say steps as to what happens with the cause we’re, we’re learning over there too.
We’re learning over here. We’re learning over there and we help each other. They help us, we help them. So when you for give your loved one for something that is passed and you just kind of say, okay, you know what, I’m going to let that go. Of course it helps us, but it also helps us. So it’s this inner, it’s this going back and forth and helps each other.
And I always see it more as in, I want to say steps or stages as to what happens in the learning process over there before they come back.
[00:07:54] Raven Scott: Yeah. And some of us have a hard time forgiving those living, and sometimes it does take them passing over to forgive them.
[00:08:00] Maria Verdeschi: Right. And can there be a healing with a reading?
Absolutely. It happens a lot where their loved one will come in. They will tell me what happens. And of course I’m always spitting out what I’m seeing, hearing and feeling and the sitter, the person getting the reading knows that like I have no idea about this and here it’s coming out of my mouth that their whole faces, holy cow, you’re talking to my mom, you’re talking to my dad.
You are talking to that person that most of the time. There’s only a very small percentage that still want to hold on to it. But most of the time I can even see it with the sitters energy around them that they’re ready to let go of that anger. They’re just, they’re ready to let go of that disappointment that you just know that your loved one when they came here, it’s.
A lot of times, those that really disappointed us. We’re a younger soul, not an older soul. Um, I really do feel most empaths are older souls. Um, they just have a deeper understanding of things and they feel things in a deeper way where you’ve got these younger souls, like good nurses, cysts that do not, it’s not that they don’t feel things deep.
It’s revolved around them. It’s revolved around that and how you hurt them and how that feels to them. Whereas in empath, we’re like, oh my God, did I hurt you? Because this hurts me that I hurt you. And I’m, you know, that kind of a thing. Um,
[00:09:50] Raven Scott: Hm. Now I’m listening to you and I’m processing. Sometimes I’m going to be honest.
Sometimes I feel like. I’m maybe a middle soul. Cause sometimes I feel like I’m being immature, Lark, the narcissist, but I’m also reevaluating and I feel deeply like, oh, I feel guilty. Like I do feel guilty about putting up boundaries because I know deeply, like if I continue to talk to them, The maybe, you know, I can help or reveal something, but then I’m like, but I can’t like, like I can’t change them.
So it’s like this weird dichotomy, like, do you think that has anything to do with like, being just like in the struggle of
[00:10:28] Maria Verdeschi: yes, I definitely feel like you’re an old soul too. So I’m, I’m just going to say that, um, because you have. Also this bigger picture, this bigger understanding, but we’re human. We are human.
When, when these nurses assist just really are, um, they trick us here. We were all in and we believed everything that they said they tricked us and it just hurts so deeply. For humans, of course, we’re going to go in and out of this pain of, okay, I’m going to move on. I’m really going to try to forgive. And then we go back into that son of a blah, blah, blah, blah.
No word. All that anger comes rushing back up again, but then another split second. Oh, okay. Wait a minute. Deep breath, deep breath. Um, it, is it just kind of like, is this energy that just keeps cycling until I want to say there does come that day one, we are more. I have an understanding of this. And for my end, even though my brain does not work the way their brain does, so I will not fully be able to understand.
I have enough understanding for me though, that I can move on. And that, and that, I want to say that in a very empowering way to people listening to this, because the term. That day does happen. It does because I know when you’re in it, you’re thinking, well, I’m never going to feel better. I’m never going to feel empowered.
I’m always going to be mad and no that day does happen.
[00:12:22] Raven Scott: Yeah, absolutely. It does. I, and you’re right. It’s a process. It takes, it takes time. And I wanted to touch base with you. We were talking before we hit record about, um, you being able to sense in a reading and sometimes we don’t recognize that we’re actually dealing with a narcissist, right.
It takes us a while. I was listening to your, um, second to latest episodes. About narcissism. And she said there’s like different phases. I resonated, completely agreed with everything she was saying like, yes, I remember that stage. I remember that stage. It’s like, they be actual recognition like, oh, maybe this person is not healthy.
And not even knowing that they’re narcissists and we were talking about how you said, you know, you could hear from spirit, like that person had dropped
[00:13:12] Maria Verdeschi: eggshells. Right. So, um, I’ve had it where, cause I get, um, I had a few men that are, um, dealing with narcissistic partners. It is mostly women that I will have come for a reading and it.
It’s not always the reason why they came for the reading though, because sometimes they don’t know. It’s like they kind of have this off feeling with the relationship, but their loved one, whether it’s mom, dad, grandma will kind of go into this relationship circle or I’ll go, oh, hold on. Because I kind of feel into the energy and I’m like, have you been feeling something’s off?
And then it, as soon as I say that at times, then these eggshells will start dropping from their loved one and I’ll immediately go, oh, I’m seeing eggshells. They’re a nurse assist. And sometimes I’ll get the, well, I don’t know about that. Well then their loved ones will start giving examples of what is going on in the daily routine.
And again, these are all things that I would have no idea about. No idea. And as I’m giving these examples, you see the light bulb going off and the person going, oh, oh, oh yeah. Where then they are able to kind of, you know, say I think that he is a narcissist. I think that that is, and I’ve had clients that will sit with it for a year.
And then in a year they’ll come back and say, I need another empowering reading because my big thing is I want to leave. I want the reading to end and to be all about empowering and knowing that you have your power, you have the say on everything. You have your power, so they’ll come back a year later maybe, or sometimes it’s sooner and say, Uh, I’m going to be filing for divorce.
I need to talk to mom again. I need to talk to dad again. Their loved ones will bring up. Current events that are going on in the home because this person also needs the reassurance of they’re doing the right thing. Like, I don’t know. Maybe it’s not a nurse assist. Maybe it’s just me
[00:16:02] Raven Scott: second. Guess yourself all
[00:16:03] Maria Verdeschi: the time.
Yes. Yes. So then mom, dad, grandma, they’ll start bringing up the current events again. I’d have no idea. And they’re sitting there going, I get it. Okay. I need to do the best.
[00:16:20] Raven Scott: Yeah. I love that. I honestly love I’ve. I’ve. Been able to kind of connect myself, um, a little bit. And sometimes I doubt myself cause I’m like, I don’t know if I’m making this up, but either way I needed this message.
If it was my own brain or if it was really for my guys, it’s like, you need that empowerment outside of yourself because in your head, you justify things, you make excuses. You also feel like this is just the way this is how love is not realizing that that’s actually not healthy love. That’s not how it really should be.
[00:16:54] Maria Verdeschi: Yes. Yes, absolutely. Yes. And I know from personal experience, I mean, I think almost all of the people that I have, you know, dated, I’ve been married, I’ve only been with narcissist, so, and with the last one, He was a spiritual nurse assist, which really threw me off. How can a nurses just be spiritual? Um, I was pretty naive meditates every day.
Wait a minute. What about this? Oh, they are out there. They are out there.
[00:17:34] Raven Scott: So in your theory, do you think the meditation practice is for them to hone in, like their skills are like, why are they meditating? Are they just showing off to you? Like, do they meditate in quiet or did he always make sure he was meditating in front of you?
Like at the time you could see them?
[00:17:49] Maria Verdeschi: No, it was more in quiet. And I think that the spiritual and the meditation part was more of that. Just getting lots of women’s. Hm, look at me. I’m spiritual, that kind of a thing.
[00:18:05] Raven Scott: Got it. So it was just part of the whole
[00:18:07] Maria Verdeschi: identity. Exactly. Yeah, exactly. Yeah.
[00:18:11] Raven Scott: Yeah. And I, I can completely relate with, um, I think even religion, can you, you know, so many narcissists can hide behind religion, whether it be.
Any type of honestly, extreme religion, no matter what the God is, but I know I’ve experienced healing and coming to grips with that myself, you know, and feeling this immense anger and resentment, but you know, why do you think that impacts tend to attract narcissists or like, what is your theory? Because it’s a very common thread I keep hearing.
[00:18:48] Maria Verdeschi: how about if we look at it the other way, where. Narcissists, they can pick us out. We are the ones that express more joy. We are the ones that can, make a rainy day into a sunny day. Um, it it’s, most of it’s kind of like how we live and we’re helping. And they can probably spot us even arrest in a restaurant.
If someone dropped something. Oh my gosh, let me get that for you. Hold on. Oh my God. Don’t you look beautiful today? Look at that. Like, I feel like that we are the ones that, and I don’t feel like that we should dim our light at all. We should not, but we are the ones that stand out in a crowd where we just, we want everybody to be happy.
We want to do more. Hey, oh, I can do that. Let’s throw that on my plate. I got that. Um, so it’s almost like I want to turn it around to where nurses, Cisco. Oh, who’s that they seem healthy.
[00:20:00] Raven Scott: And they’re attracted to receive that help because they’re missing that piece inside them from a childhood like their mother’s love.
And they’re trying to fill it and have a partner in their life. Be that person again for them,
[00:20:14] Maria Verdeschi: right. That will do everything for them and tell them how amazing they are all the time.
[00:20:20] Raven Scott: Yeah. Yeah, because that’s what they’re used to and that’s how they know how to receive love in a very unhealthy way. Yeah.
Yeah. They’re seeking their self worth outside of themselves. Just as an empath. Could, who has low self-esteem, like, I can relate to that. Trying to seek, it’s almost like they’re both seeking so forth outside themselves, inter meshing unhealthy, and there goes the site. Right.
[00:20:45] Maria Verdeschi: Right. And, okay. So with an empath also, because we feel everything and here is a great indicator for an empath, dealing with a nurse assist.
Does it feel off? I tell all my clients this, and I tell my clients that I’m coaching. Does it feel off? You can’t quite put your finger on it, but something feels off, but you talk yourself out of. Okay. And it’s just this gut feeling of, I can’t figure it out, but something’s off. So it just must be me. It must be me.
No. And so what I tell everybody is no, it’s not you it’s them. And now you need to back up out of this relationship. The relationship is off. Yeah.
[00:21:37] Raven Scott: Yeah. I can a hundred percent relate to that. You’re right. Because our body can tell us our head justifies everything,
[00:21:45] Maria Verdeschi: everything, everything. And especially, you know, if it’s up, what did you study?
Locked me and he’s spiritual. He’s not lying to me. He told me that he never lies any hates people that are liars. So he doesn’t lie. No, he was lying saying he didn’t lie. That was a lie. And
[00:22:09] Raven Scott: he hates letters because he’s covering up his mask, but he’s lying
[00:22:12] Maria Verdeschi: to you. Exactly. Exactly. Yeah,
[00:22:17] Raven Scott: all smoke and mirrors.
It’s called gaslighting, which we all know now because of this huge movement.
[00:22:23] Maria Verdeschi: Yeah. Which I’m so thankful for. Aren’t you? I love it. That it’s all over social media and now they are a little easier. To identify it. It’s getting that. It just makes me so happy.
[00:22:40] Raven Scott: Yeah. I mean, I’m hoping that it sheds the light and this whole emotional healing trend of like, oh, emotional intelligence.
That’s actually a trending thing too, that combined with the shining, the light on the narcissist, you know, our kids and their kids will easily identify them and be like, oh, Nope. So they’re not healthy stay. So you clear from
[00:23:00] Maria Verdeschi: them? Yeah. Yeah.
[00:23:04] Raven Scott: That’s the goal. So any other ways that our loved ones guide us and help us in life?
[00:23:13] Maria Verdeschi: Um, so what I’ll also get to is, um, when this empath is leaving the nurses. And I’ll kind of sit there and I’m like, okay, good, good. And then I stop and I go, someone’s approached you. Um, are you in the middle of getting into another relationship? Um, well, um, and I’ll say you gotta watch it because they’re are narcissist also, your mom’s telling me, and these are the signs.
And was your gut already feeling like something was. Well, yeah, I was, but I didn’t know what it was. Okay. Well, you’re kind of being tested. So it’s up to you with what you want to do with this information, but that person’s a narcissist. So our loved ones will also warn us. Um, I’ve had it where the person has totally broken up with them or nurse assist.
Like they weren’t married to them, but they broke it off. And I’ll tell them the next one definitely is a test. And I believe it’s the next two. So I want you to be careful the next two people that you’re going to be getting it and their relationship. And it’s what I also would like to tell people too, is we need to live our life.
We can’t, you know, just be like, Nope, bye. I’m not doing anything. Nope. Because that’s not where we’re supposed to do either. And. You know, like with the last example I just gave, she did confirm both. She did confirm both. And then the third one. Boom. It’s good. So again, I’m going to go, I’m going to harp on this.
If it feels off it’s off. Yeah.
[00:25:12] Raven Scott: Yeah. And like you said, it’s like a test. Okay. So let’s say, you know, I’ll use myself as example. You have low self-esteem, you’re getting out of this relationship. Oh my gosh. Someone else loves me right away. The test is, do you love yourself enough to put boundaries? With this person, or are you just going to go back into that old habit and not really test it?
Not really do any litmus things and just full rose colored glasses and be like, oh, sure, come
[00:25:40] Maria Verdeschi: on in. Exactly. Exactly. Because there they are. Our loved ones are always there to help. They want to make our life easier. They want to save us time. Believe it or not, they want to save us money. So they’re always trying to push us on the path.
That’s going to be best for us, but we’re human. So sometimes we don’t hear it. Sometimes we’re stubborn and we feel like it’s the hard way, but it’s really the easy way. Um, and they really do. They want to save us from pain. They don’t want us to have to go through this. But there is these little tests that happen where, okay.
Did you really learn from that? Because we’re all here to learn. We are all here to learn. Um, and some of us like, so I, I know for me that was a past life thing that I did not resolve was being with nurses. Because the line was so thick and so heavy, that energy line that I literally knew, I carried that over from a past life.
And then there was the day when I said, all right, I’ve learned my lesson and I’m done. I’ve learned everything I can learn about this. I am not repeating this next time. I am going to really overeducate myself on this and empower other people that have had to deal with this because I’m not coming back with this again.
It’s not enjoyable.
[00:27:17] Raven Scott: Yeah. And not repeat this one.
[00:27:21] Maria Verdeschi: Exactly. Exactly. Because it is the it’s one of the most unpleasant things. To have someone right there going, oh, you’re beautiful. You’re lovely. But then all of a sudden they give this little jab of, but is that, do you think that’s the best outfit that you could wear when you’re sitting there going, was that a compliment or did I just get a backhanded compliment?
Right, right. Well, what just happened because now I got all these compliments, but boom, what just happened? And dad’s part of that. Did that feel off again? I’m going to harp on it if it feels off it’s off.
[00:28:04] Raven Scott: Yeah. Okay. I have to ask this question because they’re talking so much about our loved ones, but a lot of the listeners, um, possibly may not have loved ones, you know, especially living or while they were living in their life who actually.
Kept them safe who loved them. You know, they possibly work narcissist in their life as a child. How does that translate when they pass
[00:28:32] Maria Verdeschi: over? I pick up on great-grandparents great. Great-grandparents I pick up on this ancestral line and I also pick up on and I’ll stop and go. Oh, that’s where the nurse assist line is.
It’s that side of the family. And I’ll pick up on, um, like when someone steps forward. Um, like I know when I was four years old and my mom was off on a rant and my dad wasn’t doing anything. It was, my father was the nurse assist. And my mother was the one that always reacted to him. Like, and I can remember at four years old saying I will not treat my kids like this.
And I followed through and I did not. So I changed our family line. I changed that energy in the family because my children will not carry that line. I changed it. So I will pick up on in a reading and all of a sudden I’ll stop and I’ll say, oh, hold on. Great. Great. Grandma’s talking about how you change this line.
And at a very young age, you decided that you weren’t going to do that, but you followed through with it. And a lot of times it’s things that I’ve also experienced and that’s how they’ll get it to me. They’ll start going, you know, like you like you like what you did and that’s how I’ll know that they did it and they’ll sit there and they’ll go you’re right.
I did. And now cause when we pass, where on the soul level. So when they’re on the soul level, they see all the hurt that they did. They see it. They’re, they’re going through that life review. They see everything and I’ll have it where these distant, you know, relatives, ancestors, they will be thinking that person, you did a service for the family.
Thank you. Thank you. And that’s also healing and empowering for that person. Look what I did. I did this empowering. Yeah.
[00:30:54] Raven Scott: Hm. That’s really, really interesting. Yeah. Cause they’re always in that review. Oh, okay. I have so many other thoughts that popped up while you were talking those, those healed ancestors.
Those are the ones who are gonna step forward and possibly help your loved one. And are there other
[00:31:14] Maria Verdeschi: guides? Yes, we all have other guides also. And sometimes I’ll pick up on guides in, in a reading also. Yeah, a lot of times it’s family members that have passed. Okay.
[00:31:28] Raven Scott: Yeah. Cause they’re your closest. Right.
And do you think that before we enter into this life, we choose who we’re born into like, okay, I’ve got my like life set up, this, this is going to be some stuff I’ve got to work through. Like, I’ll pick them, like they’re in this pot over here, other this in my pod. Like they’re going to be my antagonist in my story to help me learn.
You think that happens?
[00:31:50] Maria Verdeschi: Yeah, I do. Um, and I only do, um, Because when I look back at the situations that I was in, like with my family, I’m the youngest, but I was also the one that kept things together. Like that was my job. And I can remember when I was older, I was probably like, I don’t know, 40. And I told my mother, yeah, I don’t want that job anymore.
I’m done with that job. And I had never voiced that. That’s my job. And she, she was like, well, no, but you’re good at it. And I said, I’m tired and I don’t want that job anymore. So that was boundaries. That was boundaries. Um, and she respected it. She was like, okay, like, um, and I’m also going to go into relationships.
Do we ahead of time pick our relationships or fixed? Yes, because I can say for that last one that I was in. What kept coming like full circle was I’m the one that can help him with this light bulb going off. And, but it was, it was, um, not on a codependent. Energy line, but this higher energy line of I can help him move forward a bit.
And so he doesn’t have to come back with us. It was a very I’m even going to say it was really odd. And I remember at the time thinking, oh my God, this is so weird, but I could feel it at this higher vibration of what was going on. Was this. I knew that this whole thing was already set up, like I’d already said, okay.
Yeah, I’ll do that too. And that this was his best shot at learning this lesson. And I don’t say that with any ego involved either, because trust me, I would have rather not have had that lesson. I really would’ve rather not have been a whole part of that. But when I think of it on a soul level, then I have to say, okay, thank you.
I’m grateful for the lessons. Thank you. I learned, and thank you for that. But I, it was that experience that really brought me to the, oh my God. We really do plan all of this ahead of time. Don’t wait. Yeah.
[00:34:26] Raven Scott: And I wonder because of that whole energy and, and trying to. Transmute or like get out of the ego anger.
Right? Like I was just saying to this morning, like I I’m done being like that, like angry girl, like sharing out of the anger. Like sometimes I love to listen to music, but I really I’m done expressing like that anymore about narcissists because. That’s not going to help them evolve either. If we’re always gonna pin the empath against the narcissist, there’s always going to be war, you know, like, oh, they’re evil, they’re a bad person.
And you know, we can’t change them. Correct. You can’t change them. Well, you shouldn’t really try to be their therapist. If you’re not licensed, they need to go to professional. Like, don’t try and like, don’t mix love with therapy and all that stuff, but it’s like moving past. Elevates the whole game playing field.
If that makes sense, like what you just said, but kind of like as a collective, like what if we all just took a little bit of that
[00:35:27] Maria Verdeschi: perspective, right. And you could even, um, by doing a group collective with the experience and elevating. You elevate it for more and more and more because when we do the group collective.
So then we are helping to elevate
[00:35:51] Raven Scott: them. Yeah. And that doesn’t mean you stay with them and continue to let them abuse you. It’s almost just like the mental, energetic state of, again, like the forgiveness. Like you need to forgive for yourself, but like, let’s forgive for the evolution of this whole process.
Like let’s forgive to LA. Uh, collective because really once, like you say, once you’re in the soul world, you’re like, that was a useless of holding on to that. That was silly. Like, why did I do that for
[00:36:17] Maria Verdeschi: so long? I agree. Yes. Even though like, we’re, we’re definitely having these experiences, we’re human and I’ll find every now and then it doesn’t happen very often anymore, but I’ll get a little triggered and then the anger comes in.
And then, but I’m pretty good about catching it pretty quickly and going, okay. All right. Let’s, let’s elevate this shop now because I know that only hurts me. It doesn’t hurt them. It hurts.
[00:36:52] Raven Scott: Yeah. And it just keeps you in that state of not being able to bring like a wise idea or a wise, you know, inspiration for healing.
I know I just I’m super triggered right now with all of the different laws that they’re making. And it just brings me back into like, My anger and frustration towards Christianity, which is what I was raised since I had no control, no freedom of thought of how it sheltered. So like it triggers all these things and yes, I’m like, I know I’m triggered, but I also need to process this and how do I process this healthy?
And sometimes it don’t, I’m not healthy. And I like write an article and I’m like, well, there you go. This is why I got a negative, you know, troll comment. Cause I was also putting it out in that negative energy force. Yeah, it’s
[00:37:44] Maria Verdeschi: challenging. It can be very, very challenging.
[00:37:47] Raven Scott: Yeah. So what do you do when you get.
[00:37:50] Maria Verdeschi: Um, when I get triggered and that anger starts coming out, I take a deep breath and I go, oh, I, I really have a sense of humor about myself too. I have a great sense of humor. And I, I mean, I talk to dead people, so I better have a sense of humor, you know, and yeah. And I have that sense of humor with my kids.
I always tell them, yep. Just get me creamy. And you can pass the earn around, like, I’ll spend Christmas with one of you Thanksgiving. So I have a great sense of humor about everything. And so when that happens, I’ll start, I’ll make myself laugh because when we’re in that laughter that joy we’re elevating the energy.
We are elevating. So I I’ll get in that state. And I’ll say, RA, what happened? Where, how did you get here now? What happened? And I’ll identify what the trigger was. And usually it goes with something else or something and I’ll say, okay, how did I not heal? What what’s going on? That I did not heal that fully, what happened?
And so I don’t bury it down. I identify it and I deal with it. I do not shove it down. I used to shove everything down. Oh, I’ll be fine. Just think about that later. I’ll just shove it down. I don’t do that anymore. It did not. And I’ll say, yeah. I joke with myself saying, wow, where did that get at ya? How did that help you by shoving everything down?
It just doesn’t. So I identify with it. I deal with it. And then, you know, sometimes I’ll play music too. After I’ve done all that, then I’ll turn the music on that also brings the energy up. So, cause it’s. We’re human. So of course our energy is going to dip, but mine is mostly at this higher place. It’s if I’m communicating with spirit, it’s gotta be higher up.
I can not be depressed and communicating with spirit. It’s not going to work. Yeah, I’m still, I’m always elevating it up and I’ll say it again. I identifying with what triggered.
[00:40:22] Raven Scott: Yeah. Yeah. That’s why I like to keep the journal that helps. Right. Cause it kind of, and maybe if you can start to track a pattern, like every time you’re triggered.
Who triggered it, maybe that person. So you need the healing with that person, or it was an experience of feeling abandoned or whatever the thing is. Right. And probably it goes back to your childhood. If I’m not mistaken, usually it does.
[00:40:42] Maria Verdeschi: Right? Absolutely. It does. Where you sit there and go, oh my gosh, it really didn’t have to do with that person.
It had to do with that and that experience. And that’s what happened that day. So yeah. Yeah,
[00:40:58] Raven Scott: it wasn’t, it wasn’t able to be healed and it was shoved down. Like society always tells us to do just suck it up. You’re fine. Carry on.
[00:41:06] Maria Verdeschi: Right. And it’s a, um, it’s a no stop and identify what’s going on. Otherwise, if we keep shoving it down, we’re going to stay in the same cycle.
We’ll pick another partner. That’s a nurse assist. If we keep shoving everything down and not just stopping and going. Okay, what just happened? I just got really angry. What triggered me? What, what just happened? Yeah,
[00:41:35] Raven Scott: because those are the signs that help you. Rewrite your subconscious, because if you’re just shoving them down, then you’re like taking like a sleeping pill.
Like you’re always going to be like, subconsciously just walking around, doing the same thing, whatever you’re conditioned to do. And yeah. Then it will probably explode and boil over and then you’ll be called the crazy one. You’ll be called the narcissist or the abusive one because you can’t take it anymore.
[00:42:02] Maria Verdeschi: so then you explode. Exactly. Yeah. Yes. That is exactly what happens. Yeah.
[00:42:08] Raven Scott: So do yourself a favor and address them when you’re triggered.
[00:42:13] Maria Verdeschi: Right. And I love that journaling too. Um, just because you can, then you can go back and go, okay, wait a minute. I felt like this two weeks ago, what was going on two weeks ago?
And then you can go back and go, oh my gosh. And then you can connect the dots. Yeah.
[00:42:34] Raven Scott: And if you wanna dive a little bit deeper, I also love to listen to, um, astrology updates and they’re like, what was happening in may of 2020 or something like that? And you’re like, oh, I don’t know. Let me go back to my photos on my phone.
What was the energy, what was I dealing with? And then you can start to kind of pick up patterns to cause. It also evolves around the energy of the planets that I’ve been observing as I’ve been kind of doing my astrology experiment.
[00:42:58] Maria Verdeschi: Oh, I definitely, and I tell people too, the, the mediumship and the astrology, they go hand in hand.
Um, gosh, what was someone was just asking me about, um, oh, a movie. And I said, well, this is where I’m feeling. It was like an out-of-state move. And I said, I’m feeling this location. And I said, but you know, it’d be fun is if you had your chart done, because there are the astrologers that can do the location, like where your best location is going to be for you to, whether it’s with work or whatever, they’ll let you know that.
And I said, that would be fun to see because. It goes hand in hand. Things that I’d pick up on will go hand in hand with someone’s astrology chart. Cause they’ll tell me, oh my gosh. I just had my check done and that’s what they said.
[00:43:52] Raven Scott: That’s so cool. Yeah. It’s it’s all within us energetics. I
[00:43:56] Maria Verdeschi: love that because it’s all energy.
Exactly. It’s all energy.
[00:44:00] Raven Scott: It’s all energy. Oh, my gosh, this is amazing. Um, is there anything else you’d like to leave our listeners who may be stuck or struggling with narcissists narcissist before we say goodbye to them?
[00:44:14] Maria Verdeschi: So I always, always, always like people to know you, you have your. It is, maybe you shoved it down.
We were just talking about shoving things down, just know that you have your power. And a powerful thing to do is to go to a therapist. And because I can remember years and years ago when I was married, I walked into the therapist office and said, I need you to get me strong enough so I can file for divorce.
So I think therapy is very empowering. Um, and, but also to know you are a powerful and strong person to even be in this relationship, just know, um, all the things that you put up with and all the things that you don’t say. Um, all the things that you do, because I’m sure you are like a super person doing the job of five people being with this nurse assist.
Yeah. And it’s like, I want you to step back and even make an inventory list. If you ha, if you have to have all the things you do just this. So you’d step back and go, oh my gosh, I am a super person. I’m super woman. I am, you know, Wow. I did not realize this until I stepped back and really started writing the things down.
Um, you, and it’s a, I want you all to know you can do anything. You’re with this person and I bet you manifest a ton of stuff for them too. You can make manifest these things for you now and be happy. Um, most impacts they manifest a ton of stuff for their nurses assist partner. Um, it’s now it’s time to take all your power and let’s get you on that path.
And. Start manifesting some awesome things for yourself. Yeah.
[00:46:28] Raven Scott: Stop neglecting yourself. Tap into your self worth. I think that was the biggest thing for me is like, I didn’t believe that I was worth. What I can manifest for myself. I can do it for others because I was always in the habit of doing it for others because I got praise.
I got information. That’s how I got my self worth. But yeah, within you, every time I go to my tree guide, she’s always saying, stand in your power.
[00:46:59] Maria Verdeschi: Exactly. Exactly. And with the, um, with the whole, because we’re, we’re kind of shoved down in this hole by the narcissist, because they don’t want us to know how powerful we
[00:47:14] Raven Scott: are and Jen stay down there and like, don’t know that you actually are the super engine
[00:47:20] Maria Verdeschi: of everything.
Exactly, exactly. Because they want to keep us because we keep them going. Yeah, we keep them going. So just know you do the job of many when you’re with the nurse, you do the job of many.
[00:47:38] Raven Scott: Yeah. I love your idea. Just write down the list. Just do a little homework for us today and maybe
[00:47:44] Maria Verdeschi: you will be amazed and you’re going to sit back and go, holy cow.
I did not realize I do all this, but I do all of this. Yeah. Yes, because you’re also made to feel that all these extra things you do or all this other stuff. Well, you’re supposed to that’s what a good partner does. I’m here to tell you, not necessarily, not necessarily, um, one year in this relationship, you didn’t sign up to do everything.
That’s not how it works, but we’re made to feel. That’s how it works.
[00:48:23] Raven Scott: Wouldn’t it be so cool if every couple before they got married or live together, like wrote out, like, this is what I’m going to do. Like, let’s split the chores, let’s do this. Like, I’m totally doing this for my kids. I’m like, this is what you need to do with your partner.
Because if your partner is like, I’m not doing anything and you’re doing everything run for the Hills.
[00:48:42] Maria Verdeschi: Right, right, right. Or I’m going to go one step further and say, because I also feel like they’ve lost. Oh, yeah, I’m going to do 50
[00:48:52] Raven Scott: 50.
[00:48:52] Maria Verdeschi: Yeah. That’s true. A lie detector test. They all fricking have to take a lie detector test.
That will stop it right there. Oh, you’re lying. You’re not going to do 50, 50. Are you going to do 20%? The needles? All you’re not even going to do 20%. Do you want to be with this person? They’re going to do nothing.
[00:49:17] Raven Scott: Yes. And there are signs. All you have to do is look at how much does their mom do for them or their dad or whomever.
How much are they scaping through? Like mine was in school. So how much are they scaping through? How much are they just zoning out?
[00:49:35] Maria Verdeschi: Exactly. Exactly. Yeah. There are going to be those red flags. It’s a, um, to make your life easier. And less painful. Just notice the red flags just notice and we’re human. I mean, I decided to ignore them, even though they were right there in front of me.
And, and then there was that day when I was like, all right, I can’t ignore this anymore. This is just in my face. Um, but your loved ones, your guys’. They’re going to start making you feel uncomfortable. And this could be right in the beginning where I know something’s wrong, something’s off it’s because they want to save you time and pain.
[00:50:27] Raven Scott: That’s another great takeaway. Listen to your gut, right? Listen to your body, listen
[00:50:31] Maria Verdeschi: to your gut because it’s, again, it will feel off. Something will feel off. You might not be able to put your finger on it, but something will feel off. Where then you need to start digging and it’s, if you’re asking your narcissist to all these questions and they start getting mad, a red flag, I mean, I can’t ask you questions, red flag.
[00:50:54] Raven Scott: Yup. Or actually it’s something that just came up. I’ve never shared. And it just conceptualize in my brain is like, when you’re pleasantly surprised that they did something nice or said something nice, like, what do you mean. You shouldn’t be pleasantly surprised. I should be part of your interaction together.
A loving person is mutually loving and kind and respectful. So if your body’s like, cool, and then, oh, one day, oh wow. He was really nice today. That was really not, he really turned the corner. It’s like they don’t turn a corner in one day, nor will they stay.
[00:51:28] Maria Verdeschi: No. And if you already know if you’re, they’ve done that nice thing, if you’re already going, oh, I owe them.
[00:51:38] Raven Scott: Oh, that’s huge.
[00:51:39] Maria Verdeschi: Oh yeah. And if you’re saying no, no, no, you don’t have to do anything. No, no, no red flag. You’re saying that because you don’t want to owe them. Yeah. Yeah. I’ll be calling is a big thing because boy, did they keep score? They
[00:51:56] Raven Scott: do they, they always keep you in debt, always in debt. Yeah. So, I mean, healthy relationship is equal.
Give and take. There’s no debt. There’s no counting of grievances. There’s no counting of anything. Okay.
[00:52:13] Maria Verdeschi: You know? Exactly, exactly. And if it has, I always see like the justice scales, if sometimes, because this happens in relationships where one’s giving more. Then it tilts back though, and it evens out. It’s never like this the whole time.
It shouldn’t be, that’s a red flag, right? Exactly.
[00:52:35] Raven Scott: Exactly. This has been such a pleasure talking with you. I know all of the listeners have gained so much with some and empowerment and tips today from you, Maria. And I highly encourage everyone listening to reach out to her. Her website is in the link in the notes.
Um, get a reading from her. She’s amazing. I just, I really have enjoyed talking with you today, Maria. Oh, thank
[00:53:00] Maria Verdeschi: you, Raven. Thank you for having me on. I have loved this. I really have, it is a topic I am in case if you couldn’t tell a little passionate about, because I really want people to know you, your power is in you.
It never left. You have your power.
[00:53:19] Raven Scott: Yeah. Yeah. There’s just been some smoke and mirrors covering yourself from seeing that. Exactly. I will. A hundred percent agree. Um, where can we find you on social media or get nuts with you other than your website? Um,
[00:53:33] Maria Verdeschi: I’m on Facebook. I’m on Instagram and I’m on tick.
[00:53:37] Raven Scott: Okay. Good. All under Maria Verdeschi. Yes. Yes. Yep. Good. All right. Thank you so much. Um, everybody, please remember to always keep your unique light shining.
How to master your boundaries:
- Envision yourself saying NO
- Feel the power of your self sovereignty
- Dream of yourself saying NO
- Step into your courage, pushing through fear, and taking action to say NO.
- Be detached with the others emotional response (which may be like a child’s temper tantrum)
Over the past decade Raven Scott has first, exited an abusive relationship, then found her healing and renewal through the very tools she shares in this book. This “incredibly relatable story is a healing guide that weaves a story of an empath growing up, struggling with codependency, and loving a narcissist. It guides you in transforming yourself from low self esteem, PTSD, emotional abuse, to a strong, confident, and renewed soul.
PLUS! It includes a bonus chapter on the basic overview of Human Design -Your soul’s unique blueprint.
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Know yourself more intimately on an energetic level!
All those who’ve I’ve help with this have told me what freedom they have now that they know their design and strategy.
“I salute the Divinity in you.”– Indian brotherhood
With personal experience of being her family’s black sheep, she has embraced her solo path and dominates breaking toxic ancestral patterns.
She is an Ambassador of gain your sparkle back after narcissist abuse.
And Coach helping empaths heal from their black sheep wound through her transformational program.
Through grounded and heart centered teachings she elevates the spiritual journey and concepts that you are uniquely magnificent and contrary to your doubts, you are here for a purpose.
Her unique approach to addressing the souls journey v the ego’s protection mode, gives men and women hope and clarity of their themes they are meant to grow from.
As an international author, narcissist abuse recovering coach, Podcast host of Empath & Narcissist and creator of Embracing your Black Sheep Program she is dispelling the narcissist power one soul at a time.