Eliminate Your Fear and cast your heavy burdens and fears so you may grow through your obstacles. Get rid of narcissists in your life and value every second of the day to your self development mentally and physically.
“God will never let you endure more than you can stand.”-Mark V Smith
Listen to Podcast
The Full Moon in Sagittarius and Human Design Gates: A Powerful Combination for Empath Healing – Empath And The Narcissist: Healing with Human Design from Trauma & Emotional Abuse
- The Full Moon in Sagittarius and Human Design Gates: A Powerful Combination for Empath Healing
- Soulmates vs Twin Flames (Narcissists): Which One is Right for You?
- How HSP Empaths can live Empowered by knowing their Human Design Type
- How To Stop your Subconscious from Pulling you Towards the Narcissist? with Emotion Code
- From a Narcissist Magnet to a Narcissist Repellant | Embrace your Empath Spirit
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Follow Raven on her Socials & YouTube
Eliminate Your Fear and cast your heavy burdens and fears
Today I share a conversation with Mark V Smith Motivation al Speaker and Host of The Process Podcast.
Here are some key moments:
Getting Rid of Narcissists in Your Life | The Process with Mark V Smith
[00:00:00] Raven Scott: Welcome back to Empath and the Narcissist I have with me as special guest Mark V. Smith.
[00:00:09] So Mark is the curator of a Bigger Vision within he specializes in speaking from his personal experience of trials and tribulations in life. His desire to Chronicle choices and share the journey of his life, resonates with everyone at our core personally and professionally. Smith served as vice president of M a C C a middle Atlantic career counseling association, and former R E S E a reemployment services and eligibility assessment facilitator for the department of labor.
[00:00:45] In those previous roles, he used his gift of sharing, words of perseverance that helped individuals push forward through adversity. Mark has received standing ovations when he spoke on topics such as growth. Legacy at [00:01:00] venues across the country and alumnus of the Ohio state university. He has strong passion for mentoring and now resides with his wife in Maryland. Thank you. With his podcast, The Process he outlines and breaks down situations. We all go through and offers insights on methods to weather, the storms in life known for his clever use of acronyms within his message. Smith gives listeners a way to remember key points as we grow forward. I look forward to those and Mark’s vision statement of your why is greater than your situation, which is part of your process.
[00:01:38] And it gives us the perspective that we are always growing.
[00:01:45] Thank you for joining me here today, Mark.
[00:01:47] Mark V Smith: Thank you, Raven. It’s an honor to be here with you today.
[00:01:51] Raven Scott: I’m really excited to kind of dive into the topic of perseverance, like how to push through the uncomfortable feelings when you’re trying to [00:02:00] leave the narcissist and, or stay away from the narcissist.
[00:02:03] And I think your, expertise is going to help so much in bringing, a big picture and, some, mental health motivation and helping them strengthen their tenacity, their perseverance to stay away from.
[00:02:18] Mark V Smith: Yeah, I definitely hope so that that’s our, that’s our goal and our mission and that’s our goal and mission.
[00:02:23] We’re going to make it happen today.
[00:02:24] Raven Scott: So, I also want to welcome you, first of all, most of my listeners, your comfortable and normal hearing, feminine guest’s voice, but I just want to congratulate you as our first male influence guests here on the podcast. I just love that it’s opening up to all aspects.
[00:02:41] So thanks for being here as
[00:02:42] Mark V Smith: well. Thank you. It’s again, it’s an honor. And, uh, it’s good to be a first.
[00:02:48] Raven Scott: It’s always good to initiate. Yeah. Wonder what your human design chart is.
[00:02:52] Mark V Smith: Um, good question. Great question.
[00:02:56] Raven Scott: So tell me a bit more about your backstory and how, how [00:03:00] did you get into speaking about.
[00:03:02] Mark V Smith: Wow. That’s a, I think that’s an evolution. I think that’s a consistent thing because we were always growing and we’re always servicing, I won’t say battling, but we’re always on guard and have to adapt to certain situations.
[00:03:16] But my story again, it started, um, I thought a lot about. Where things really came from and came back to a long time, a very, very long time ago in my junior high days. And you know, I, I often often referenced me, um, working for a organization called youth conservation Corps and you had to get selected. To clear fields right now.
[00:03:41] How much sense does that make you have to sign up to clear up? So I did, you know, I wanted to do something. I wanted to make a difference. And with the youth conservation Corps, there was 10 of us selected. And what we did is we actually cleared walking trails at black lake woods in Columbus or. And, you know, you, you, I [00:04:00] have plenty of plenty poison Ivy, plenty poison Oak, the whole, whole nine yards, a lot of bruises, a lot, a lot of sweat and a lot of calluses, but I go back a Raven.
[00:04:11] I look at that. And what was that teaching me? That was teaching me that we are always are clearing a path of progression, clearing a moving things out of our way obstacles or what some people call obstacles. I like to say opportunities moving those from one place out of our past so we can reach the levels that we want to go.
[00:04:29] And it took me a long time. I’m going to say over 35 to 40 years to really kind of hone in and say, wait a minute, Mark, you were taught this lesson. You were given this gift early, but you need to share it, but it didn’t manifest itself until 2018. I lost my job and you know, and I always tell everybody, I never lost a job in my life.
[00:04:50] I quit jobs. They didn’t quit me that it wasn’t for them to let me go. But they did. And they did it right around Christmas in [00:05:00] 2018. And I felt worthless. I felt helpless. I felt as though my life was crashing back down on me and it was at that point, I had two choices. I said, I’m going to rise up and, fufill my legacy where I like to say as a legacy, which is help people feel empowered about who they truly are inside, or I’m going to cower down and not do anything.
[00:05:23] And I chose the latter. I chose to, to build, to help build myself to a another point to where I can help people grow as well as something myself grow at the same time.
[00:05:33] Raven Scott: Yeah. Isn’t that true through our obstacles? Right? The obstacle is the way through to finding a lesson. And then we have the choice to rise up.
[00:05:44] And maybe your life’s theme in your design chart is interpersonal to help others. And for other of you, maybe your life theme is personal and it’s just for you to evolve and to grow either way it’s to grow. Right.
[00:05:59] Mark V Smith: That’s right. [00:06:00] That’s right. And you know, I go back and look at it and I like, like almost everybody else, when you go through those types of, um, Transformations.
[00:06:08] I like to say. And, um, you, you, you count to a point to where you don’t understand it at that point. You really don’t, you’re actually angry. You’re mad. You’re frustrated. You’re saying why me, but then you realize after you go get, go through to get through, as I always like to say, you realize that whatever.
[00:06:26] This really wasn’t so bad, you know, I wish they’d let me go. Years ago, it would have pushed me and forced me to do something else that I’m truly called to do. But the fact of the matter is, and I always talk about it is most people don’t change til the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain to change. We don’t, we, we stayed locked in. We stay in, in that situation because it’s comfortable. And I always say comfort is the casualty of growth. And I experienced it. I experienced that, that portion right there in 2018 with, with what I thought was the [00:07:00] rug being pulled away from me was really a door that was opening up for me to walk through that had always been there.
[00:07:07] I just chose to take the blinders off and walk through.
[00:07:10] Raven Scott: Yeah, and I want to pinpoint maybe if there was a moment or something like what brought you, because it’s normal to feel angry. It’s normal to feel resentful. What shifted you from resentment and anger into power?
[00:07:25] Mark V Smith: Uh, I have to give the credit to my wife. I do, I have to give her the credit, but also look.
[00:07:33] I, I didn’t want to, not leave what I call a legacy. I wanted to be that, that individual, that, that, you know, I’ve talked for so many years and in post-secondary education and in, in, uh, corporate America about overcoming obstacles. And here at obstacle was actually smacking me right in the mouth. And, you know, we use that word loosely hypocrisy.
[00:07:56] I didn’t want to be a hypocrite. I wanted to apply the same teachings [00:08:00] and principles that I was, that I was teaching into action myself. And it was, it was tough. I can’t lie. It was tough. I didn’t know. You know, I’m not afraid to tell everybody at that point I was 50, 54 years old. So to start over in a career at 54 to, you know, from what you’ve been used
[00:08:18] to. Man that’s scary. That is truly scary. And it became the situation to where I said, Martin, no guts, no glory either it’s going to win or it’s not going to win, but you can’t, it, it won’t win. And you can’t, if you don’t go for it, if you don’t apply it, if you don’t leave the negative mindset and say it won’t happen.
[00:08:36] And as to embark on it to watch it happen.
[00:08:39] Raven Scott: Yeah. It’s similar to like that. Uh, what is the one phrase? I can’t think of the beginning of the phrase, but it’s like, you’re going to die trying, you might as well, like try, go for it, put it all in at least, you know, you tried, you did your very best, and I can relate to you in such a different way where I was [00:09:00] paralyzed with fear for in to leave my comfortable.
[00:09:03] Like you said, relationship with this narcissist. It was comfortable. I knew him. He was the only one I’ve ever been with. It, it took until the discomfort of actually staying for me to be like, I’m just better off all by myself. I don’t want anyone. I don’t want him anymore.
[00:09:21] Mark V Smith: I, you know, and I can relate to that as well because, um, I am married again.
[00:09:27] This is my second wife. We’re getting ready to celebrate our seventh, uh, seventh year anniversary of being married, but we’ve been together for 10 years. But prior to that, I was married before and in a very toxic relationship, it was a lot of verbal abuse that I was receiving in. A lot of people don’t think me.
[00:09:44] Get the verbal abuse and we do so, Hey, I dealt with it for 20 plus years before I said enough is enough. And you know, I go back and I look at my progression, every steps, and these were things that were signs that I knew I should have walked away years ago. [00:10:00] And I didn’t. So my self esteem, you know, several, many, many years ago, Where it was at a bad point.
[00:10:06] I didn’t believe in myself. I didn’t believe that I was capable of being at being, uh, the one that can challenge everybody else. So again, when I used that word a few minutes ago, hypocrisy, I was living a life of hypocrisy because I was telling people that they shouldn’t be with these things. They should embark on who they should be.
[00:10:23] And I was going home to that type of mentality, not knowing. What the heck was going to happen when I walked through the door or when I walked out the door the next day. So yeah, it’s a true, true evolution of growth. But again, like I said before, people don’t change to the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of change.
[00:10:42] So I had to get out of that. I had to leave that alone. And again, that the uncomfortability, it was there, but it, it was truly a blessing and I have never been happier in my. I’ve I’ve seen things, uh, prosper. Uh expedentiously in my life since, [00:11:00] you know, in the last 10
[00:11:01] Raven Scott: years. Yeah. I agree. Me too.
[00:11:04] I’m like a huge movie buff. My, a friend who I’m on his network on the show. He’s like, gosh, you talk about movies a lot, but like I have these, I’m a very visual person. So I have these images that pop in my head. And when you were saying that I was envisioning the Disney movie, I have kids. So of course I have a lot of Disney movies in my.
[00:11:21] Is Onward, I don’t know if you’ve ever seen that, but he has to step out onto a cliff over into a canyon, but it is like this magical imaginary bridge. And he has to have faith enough that he’s not going to fall into the canyon. And that’s, that’s how it feels emotionally. Like you have to step out in faith into that dark of this and trust that the universe has you.
[00:11:44] And there are other people that are going to support you in your healing
[00:11:48] Mark V Smith: I truly believe that you have to find your, truly find your, your circle. You know, you really have to eventually find your circle and remove that cage and say, I, I felt I was. I w I [00:12:00] was it wasn’t no, I think as I know, I was in a cage and I allowed myself to be in that cage.
[00:12:05] That’s the, that’s the, the part that I, you know, I look at myself now and I don’t regret it, you know, because I learned a lot about myself. Um, I am the only thing that I do regret is. I didn’t enact my own strong will earlier. I didn’t make the steps to walk through where I should be earlier, but I always believe that God, God will never let you endure more than you can stand.
[00:12:28] And it happened in his time and I’m a better person for it because now I truly see the whole picture. I see the whole picture of, of, I don’t want to say hitting rock bottom, but being there being. Being truly low, not having self-esteem to being an individual who people are contacting you. I’m being booked for speaking gigs.
[00:12:48] I have two television shows. I mean, I see the progression of me just believing in who I was and sharing a message of hope, perseverance and resiliency and what it truly means to, to [00:13:00] everybody. Cause we all know right. When we all go through it, we all have stuff. We all have stuff that, that hold us back that we don’t release.
[00:13:07] I like to say I talk a lot about light bag and heavy bag and that heavy bag has all that stuff that we just don’t get rid of. We’ve never discarded it. And it took, it took a many, many years of my life before I took that heavy bag, threw it in the ocean and said, bye-bye bye-bye to it. You will never come back and revisit me again because you’re out of my life.
[00:13:29] Raven Scott: Yeah. I see there’s lions behind you too. When you said cage, I’m like, yes, he’s let his lion out. We all need to let that lions
[00:13:38] Mark V Smith: out. That’s actually my, my logo. And a lot of people ask me, why did you choose lions? I said, it’s not so much the lion as, as the, as the, the lion and being aggressive. If you look behind it, there’s, there’s a father and there’s a son.
[00:13:52] And that, that stands for knowledge speaks and wisdom. So, yeah, I had things that were said to me as a young child, I didn’t adhere [00:14:00] to. And that was that knowledge that has been speaking to me for me to get the wisdom that I didn’t choose to listen to all the time. So this is just a constant reminder that you always come in with an open mind.
[00:14:11] You always come in with an open heart and you’re ready to always learn from, from everybody around you.
[00:14:18] Raven Scott: And talk to us more about The Process.
[00:14:21] Mark V Smith: Okay, well, that’s a, again, that, that was something that formed in 2018, it had, it had been something that had been in my mind, you know, as a former career development specialist in post-secondary education, I worked with young men and young women to help develop them from resume writing, to mock interviews, to contacting employers, to setting up job fairs.
[00:14:44] I did all of that. So once I. I was relieved of work of that type of employment. Yeah. I sat down one day and I said, you know, I have a story to tell, and my story is [00:15:00] truly impactful because it can, it can and will, and does change lives. So I said, I started writing. I started journaling and in 2000, in 2020, I released a YouTube video.
[00:15:10] Again, I was scared. I said, why, who will even listen to this thing? And they might think, you know, Hey mark, you’re back. And it was very successful. And for three, four years later, I said, okay, excuse me, three years later. I said, well, now it’s time to see what else I can do with, uh, something I thought that I had, which was the process.
[00:15:30] But before I, before I got into that, I had to identify what is truly a process. And we all have it, you know, w we all go through things in our lives for a specific reason. And each time we are, we had the capability to take some. Each thing, each level or each, each, uh, obstacle or each situation that we go through and it’s building us for something that’s greater far beyond.
[00:15:54] What we know is building us with strength is business. Building us with perseverance is building us with the [00:16:00] ability to share our path with somebody else to hopefully help them as well. So I started grinding chronic on writing a book. A friend of mine who owns a radio station in Columbus, Ohio said, Hey man, I like what you’re doing.
[00:16:13] Would you like to, um, read or discuss your messages on my show? And I said, his name is David. I said, David, I don’t know about this. He said, well, guess what, Mark is the only time I’m giving you this option. You either take it or you don’t. So again, no guts, no glory. Right? So I, I did I in 2021, excuse me, late 20, 20.
[00:16:33] I embarked on a radio station star 1 0 7, fm.com. And I actually read a new message, but I said, I wanted to do a different, right. I said, you can, you hear speakers? They talk and you remember certain things I said, but nobody does what acronym. Right. So you can hear something, but the acronyms, if you use it, they can be applicable to almost anything that you want in your life.
[00:16:58] And one of the very first ones I [00:17:00] wrote was entitled growth. G R O W T H, which I said was a gradual reminder obstacles will test hope. And I thought about everything that I went through in my life and, and going through the, the divorce and going through, um, going through losing my father at a young age, going through losing those in that job, not being sure of who I was.
[00:17:21] That was a, those things were not things that just happened. All of a sudden they were at gradual, they were gradual events inside my, my mind that was testing me. That was seeing exactly how I was going to respond. Mark, are you going to wake up? Are you going to sleep. What are you going to do? You have two choices?
[00:17:36] And then I also thought about there’s that obstacle, you know, and you heard me say it before obstacles or opportunity, and I didn’t see it then, but I know it now that was telling me, giving me an opportunity to open my eyes, to really see what the future could be. And it was testing my hope cause every single day of those days, I didn’t think I could make.
[00:17:57] I was being, my hope was being tested is tomorrow [00:18:00] going to be better? You know, heck is the next 15 minutes going to be better? Isn’t the next minute going to be better? When is this, this terrible cycle going to end? But anyway, when I released that. It did very, very, extremely well on the radio as well as it landed to individuals starting to reach out to me, to actually come and speak and talk about it as well.
[00:18:21] As again, I’m in my sixth season now I’m doing something called. If I only knew, then what I know now I released a short story or a video on YouTube that has over 30,000 views and hits from it as well. So again, it’s, it’s just really, truly about taking. What we all go through and giving it back in a different way to say it’s okay.
[00:18:41] It’s okay to hurt. It’s really okay. It’s okay. To feel, uh, to, to, to kind of question your self esteem. Sometimes it’s okay to, to do it. I’m not saying you stay there this far. What I’m saying, I’m saying you are human and these things happen, but you are 100% capable [00:19:00] of getting through and there’s not anybody who is not listening to us right now.
[00:19:05] It’s gone through a situation that hasn’t gotten. We’re a hundred percent though, the human spirit is powerful and we will get through it. The situation may not come out the way we exactly planned it, but we got through. And once we get through, we know that we’re better people for going through what we needed to get through.
[00:19:23] So that is in essence what the process is about. And, um, again, it’s, um, it’s an amazing. It’s, it’s an amazing writing and just a lot of heartfelt scenarios and stories that are truly impactful and can be applicable in anything we do in life.
[00:19:38] Raven Scott: Yeah. And it’s truly needed right now. I mean, it, it was the precursor right in 2018 and it seems so much, so many people are reaching out and talking and speaking up and going, oh my gosh, I’ve been with this person for forever, you know, and they’re a narcissist. It’s almost like everyone’s just ready to speak up, speak out. And I know [00:20:00] it’s, it’s moving toward the energy of the, the incarnation cross of the sleeping Phoenix, um, is a certain one human design and it’s just the energy of the collective going into what they hierarchy, the, people, everyone that we’re putting on a pedestal.
[00:20:18] That’s no more, but that’s being removed. That’s crumbling down and individuals, all of us are going to support each other. We’re going to speak up. We’re not going to be silent anymore about whatever mental health pain that we’re going through, whatever trauma we’ve endured. And there’s so many tools out there yours sounds amazing.
[00:20:39] And it sounds you’re, you’re in alignment with what your soul’s journey is here today. And then having such great response and you’re being vulnerable and authentic, and that’s what people do. Yeah, absolutely.
[00:20:52] Mark V Smith: Absolutely. I just encourage, again, a lot of men, um, who are listening, um, or, or women [00:21:00] encourage their husbands to, to seek those types of things.
[00:21:03] Um, because again, we think that it’s machoism or, or pride. And one of the things, one of the acronyms I wrote on a series on pride, and I said, PRIDE stands for, please remember ignorance destroys everything. So we have to be able to open ourselves up and seek that help if we truly need that help. Because again, you have to be whole, and you cannot be whole until you, your whole internally and mentally.
[00:21:29] So let’s not wait any more. Let’s take, you know, I always use a hashtag and this year I said, #legacychangingactionsin2022. And let me, let’s make this the year that we cause awareness to it. We enact on it and we get the help to change legacies and change generations to come. So men get ready and get ready.
[00:21:49] Let’s get this done. Let’s get this done.
[00:21:52] Raven Scott: Yeah. #mentalhealthiscool. Something like that. or #mentalhealthismacho
Mark Smith: I like that!
[00:21:55] [00:22:00] Yeah, it is. It’s so true. I think I’ve experienced in my family, even for females to sweep things under the rug. Like but I know for sure, culturally, as boys, you know, you’re raised to just suck it up. You know, there’s no space is held for you to be sad, hurt, upset, like it’s okay to have, like you said, don’t dwell on it, but you hold space for yourself to experience.
[00:22:25] And then reach the root of it. So then now you know how to evolve and grow and change.
[00:22:30] Mark V Smith: That’s correct. That is truly correct.
[00:22:33] Raven Scott: Oh my gosh, such a great conversation.
[00:22:37] Mark V Smith: I, I would just tell, leave your listeners with something that I’m very passionate about is what do we do with the 86,400.. That’s the total number of seconds we all have in a day, right? There’s no, do-overs there’s no, um, you, you can’t carry it over.
[00:22:53] It’s not like you can deposit it and get it later. It can’t. So, you know, time is free, but it’s priceless. You can’t own [00:23:00] it, but you can use it and then you can’t keep it, but you can spend it and you, once you lose it, you never get it again. So maximize everything that you can. In that day, exercise, forgiveness, exercise, love, exercise, patience, but more importantly, shoot for a pattern of growth.
[00:23:18] Every single day, take yourself be better every day. If you can, you know, ask yourself the tough questions. Don Miguel Ruiz , we said in the Four Agreements am I empeccable to my word. Did I take things personal?. Did I, did I make assumptions? And did I always do my best? Man, if we can rest assured every single day that we’ve tackled each one of those questions and we can put check marks by those boxes.
[00:23:40] We are truly, as I say, growing forward in all that we do.
[00:23:44] Raven Scott: Every second, every baby step that you bring up. One other question I had for you during this whole process, because it brought up the whole time is precious. And that’s where I got to the point where I was like, I can’t waste another second being in this horrible, toxic[00:24:00] relationship. So for those it’s really hard though. Cause when you leave it’s uncomfortable and you feel drawed back into their vortex. And they may text you and love bomb you into all those things. Um, what is, what is a way that you can think of to help people stay away from there?
[00:24:19] Mark V Smith: Ask yourself.
[00:24:21] Do you truly see yourself growing or do you see yourself stagnant? Are you stagnant or are you growing? Are things the same as it is it, you know, I liken it to. , being in a, in a area, that is, is content consistently, raining all this. Is it raining every single day? Or is there sunshine? The majority of the day, I lived 13 years in Arizona.
[00:24:48] So it’s 300 days a year where it was sunny. You know, that was, that’s a mental, a mental difference. Then you move, I’m an east coast now I’m right outside of Washington, DC where it’s right now, it’s pouring down rain, [00:25:00] but it’s rained pretty much the whole week, but yet still I have a different mindset. The rain to me is liquid sunshine.
[00:25:07] So I would just say. Look at ask yourself, are you comfortable with stagnation? And if you’re comfortable with stagnation, that’s okay. I mean, sometimes you can’t make change. You can’t make that change unless you’re truly ready to make that change, but ask yourself, are you truly comfortable with that stagnation or do you truly want to grow?
[00:25:28] I believe the majority of, of our listeners will say they truly want to grow. And then that’s enough when you get that in your spirit. And you say that every day and you look in your mirror and you say I’m going to grow, then everything will take care of itself for you.
[00:25:43] Raven Scott: Hmm. I love that. Yeah. I wish you were like in my ear when I was there back then, I loved all your acronyms.
[00:25:54] Those are so powerful. Those will all be in the show notes as well as all the links to I get a hold of you, Mark.[00:26:00] Thank you so much for being here. It’s truly a pleasure.
[00:26:02] Mark V Smith: Thank you. It’s been, my pleasure truly has been
[00:26:06] Thank you so much for listening and always, if you love this podcast and episode rate and review it on apple, take a screenshot and DM me at Raven Scott show. Also remember the pod chaser review donation. If you want to help out chefs of Ukraine. And do what you can to help those who are suffering in a completely different country as you.
And remember, always keep your unique light shining.
How to master your boundaries:
- Envision yourself saying NO
- Feel the power of your self sovereignty
- Dream of yourself saying NO
- Step into your courage, pushing through fear, and taking action to say NO.
- Be detached with the others emotional response (which may be like a child’s temper tantrum)
Over the past decade Raven Scott has first, exited an abusive relationship, then found her healing and renewal through the very tools she shares in this book. This “incredibly relatable story is a healing guide that weaves a story of an empath growing up, struggling with codependency, and loving a narcissist. It guides you in transforming yourself from low self esteem, PTSD, emotional abuse, to a strong, confident, and renewed soul.
PLUS! It includes a bonus chapter on the basic overview of Human Design -Your soul’s unique blueprint.
Grab your copy of this book on SALE today! available on Amazon NOW!
Don’t take my word for it. Listen to this 1 of many reviews:
“This guide book is clearly written to serve those committed to healing and honoring their highest nature. this book is A must read on your self discovery journey!” – Abigail Gazda
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I also share with you how you are designed to move through this life and your incarnation cross (life’s theme and purpose) and life patterns, what you are here to learn and here to do. I will share with you how you may need to live according to your strategy, what that is for you, and how you are to use your authority to make decisions in life.
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