Empath Guide to Surviving The Narcissist S3 Ep 8

Mantra for Relief from Emotional Abuse Pain  

“I have the power to protect my energy. I am calm, confident, and collected. “

– Raven Scott
Photo by Puwadon Sang-ngern on Pexels.com

How to Embrace your Queen Energy and Shed the Narcissist's Control with Lady Portia Empath And The Narcissist: Healing Guide from Abuse and PTSD

"Don’t give two shits about what anybody else thinks dance to the beat of your own drum. " – Marcus Hunter NeilLearn how to rid yourself of the toxic narcissist in your life and step up into your own queen power. Today I share a conversation with Marcus Hunter Neil pioneer drag queen Lady Portia Instagram: https://instagram.com/ladypandme (@ladypandme) Marcus is a MindValleys Irish Ambassador, Coach, TedTalker, Podcaster, Pioneer Drag Queen, Ambassador for the NSPCC Here are some key moments: Being with a narcissist is like Grey Gardens pretending to be glitterati while you’re living in a dilapidated house. “ No one sets out to actively be a narcissist and the victim of a narcissist. It just happens.“ It's the narcissists personality. Be your own wing man, defend yourself and take no mistreatment Relationship should be a want not a need No matter how much self work you do if you and the other person are not a fit you are not a fit Know your values know your worth. Because if you don’t have standards then you will shape shift for whomever you’re with. Do not put anybody even royalty on a pedestal because we are all human beings at the end of the day Here’s a test exercise can you list five things that you love about your narcissistic partner? if not then you are stuck in a scenario in the wrong environment and you’re making excuses each day as to why you will not break up with them.  Love yourself radically. Be secure enough in your own skin no matter what happens when you come out on the other side it will all be fine.  https://the-thriving-intuitive.captivate.fm/https-bit-ly-3xjlfvb (Trauma 2 Triumph FREE Ticket) Follow and DM me http://intagram.com/ravencottshow (@ravencottshow )"free gift" to get your FREE Draw Powerful Boundaries Workshop Better Help : https://betterhelp.com/empath (Empath get 10% off your first month) Empath & The Narcissist https://ravenscott.show/empath-and-the-narcissist (Book) : Support the Show Get Human Design Reading:https://ravenscott.show/shop ( SHOP ) Grab coaching sessions and more FREE Gifts on the website http://Ravenscott.show/blog (Ravenscott.show) Madhvi – https://madhvi.ca (Emotion Code FREE Inquiry Call) Music YouTube Library: Til I Let Go by Neffex Mentioned in this episode: Trauma 2 Triumph Summit https://the-thriving-intuitive.captivate.fm/https-bit-ly-3xjlfvb (Trauma 2 Triumph FREE Ticket)
  1. How to Embrace your Queen Energy and Shed the Narcissist's Control with Lady Portia
  2. Emotional Damage and Recovery from Narcissistic Abuse through the Emotion Code
  3. How to Relieve Anxiety from Narcissistic Abuse through your Gut with Camila Smith
  4. Why Empaths Attract Narcissists with Soulmate Coach Jeanne Sullivan Billeci
  5. 16 Self Care Tips for Libra Season – Bonus

Stop the cycle of stress and reinvigorate your life.

1. Empath Qualities are Strong

Crystal baby, Empath, Highly Sensitive Person. Whatever you identify with you may be one if you are:

  1. Sensitive to light
  2. Sensitive to people
  3. Drained energy easily from interacting with others
  4. You feel outcast and awkward socially
  5. You are the black sheep of the family

You are here to elevate the collective and evolve in your soul’s journey. And the Narcissist is drawn to your immense light. They want to steal it, they want to feel warmth from it, and if you are a people pleaser, they want to take advantage of it.

You are here to elevate the collective and evolve in your soul’s journey. And the Narcissist is drawn to your immense light.

Raven Scott

2. People Pleasing

I know first hand when you are people pleasing you don’t even realize you are doing it. You justify your actions in the name of progress and working on your relationship. But if you are the only one working on the relationship and the other is receiving all the comforts of not putting energy into it, then it’s not going to work out.

To be a people pleaser is tough to spot when you’re in the deep end of it and have been conditioned either through religion, or culture that females are kind, polite, put others needs first. however, there are some signs that you are a people pleasers. Remember, don’t be hard yourself, this is all from trauma, conditioning, and is under the power of the mighty subconscious.

  1. You pretend to agree with everyone
  2. You feel responsible for how other people feel
  3. You apologize profusely
  4. Avoid reality to validate the good things done and ignore the bad
  5. It pains you to say no, and you just can’t say no.
  6. You feel uncomfortable is someone is angry at you and take blame to make them happy again.
  7. You act like the people around you
  8. You need praise to feel good about yourself
  9. You go to great lengths to avoid conflict
  10. You stuff your feelings down and say you are fine, when you truly are hurt.

Now is the time to stop letting them control you.

In astrology and Human Design we are shifting into a 20 year period of death and rebirth and enlightenment. We can all feel it coming.

3. Healing Your Inner child is the way forward:

1. Accept that you have been abused. 

  1. Start supporting yourself by practicing Inner child work- 
  2. Do what is fun, Do what you desire, don’t deny yourself pleasure, 
  3. Practice inner child meditation- practice mine s. 3 episode 4 
  4. Journal and release practice along with full moon cycles. 

Release the manipulation controls survival secrets  and old patterns in order to evolve into our luxurious beautiful selves and fulfillment our assignment and enjoy the pleasure of life 

Kozial Therapy & Coaching

External validation is a primal need to belong to the group for survival. However when you depend on it for self worth you are highly sensitive to criticism and feedback. And at the same time need more praise than the average person. In the extreme cases they will do anything for social acceptance and compromise their feelings and make terrible choices. This non confrontational form of people pleasing is to avoid social rejection and are a coping mechanisms to overcome a deep rooted emotional problem. This disproportionate amount is related to childhood trauma of emotional neglect. It is important to find balance and rewire your subconscious with growth mindset phrases. “I accept myself for who I am.” “I am enough.” “I am worthy.” “I deserve respect.”

Learn Life lessons from your past for evolution. It is how you will harness this new energy. 

Raven Scott

We are asked to step into our highest frequency of why we are here. The house where your Leo is is a clue. 

Raven Scott

4. EFT Tapping

You nervous system and emotional body have gone to hell and back. The Narcissist has turned your mind and world upside down, controlled you, made you walk on eggshells just to survive. And now that you are away or woken up to the fact that you deserve better and need a plan to leave, your nervous system will take the longest time to repair. And as you interact with other people the conditioning of always being put down, self worth wripped to shreds, and always being controlled, you will hear a phrase and be triggered. And that trigger will manifest itself in your body to be in fight or flight mode – since that is what you were while with the narcissist, and you will yell or retreat. And this process is hard on you, and on the loved ones around you. 

Stop yelling at your loved ones when you are triggered or because of your past you feel out of control. You have control over you life, your heart and your emotions. Don’t let the fear and anxiety ruin your relationships.

The only way to stop the cycle of abuse is to break ancestral patterns. You’ve done your first step unrecognizing. Now it’s your turn to stop the cycle. That means no more yelling or blow ups.

Practice EFT tapping and I promise you, the more you do it, the less you will yell and pretty soon it will be gone altogether.

Practice with me here.

5. Learn your inner authority 

Inner authority is your power within yourself to make choices that serve you. And when you make choices aligned with your soul, the best choice for you is also the best choice for those around you. It is not selfish to think “What do I want?” or “Do I want to do this activity?yes or no?” or “How do I feel about getting together with ____(fill in the blank)?” The only way to know you are choosing with your soul versus your ego is to follow your unique Source given authority in your soul’s blueprint. Just as you can identify your personality and traits through the stars and planets with astrology, you can also go even deeper in knowing yourself through Human Design. 

Human Design is a modern system that combines many ancient systems of I- Ching, Kabbalah, Chakra System, Astrology, and Neutrinos. It was downloaded by RA Uhuru Hu. He was a systems founder and messenger, and it was founded in January of 1987. It is not a cult, or religion, it is a comprehensive self discovery tool to learn how your energy flows and interacts in the world. 

You can make informed choices and authentic decisions that are guilt and shame-free. But the key is to stop caring what others think and to take your power back.

You can make informed choices and authentic decisions that are guilt. And shame-free yet again, after you stopped caring to take your power back. And the majority of us have two kinds. One is a sacral authority, meaning that we have a defined sense sacred center. It’s like your gut. So really listened to your gut and don’t agree.

And it’s a very quick decision and you ask yourself yes or no. Do I want to engage with this person and have a conversation and smile and hug and laugh? If the answer is no, then find a way to draw a boundary and don’t do so find a middle person to help you with maybe transitioning your child from household to household or something.

The power to choose correctly is to stop the reasoning and thoughts in your head, and listen to your gut or emotions. The second common authority is emotional authority. Ride the wave of your emotion about the choice, give it time to sit with it through the highs and lows and feel it out. And in the quiet moment when your feelings are neutral, then ask yourself, how does it feel? Does it feel right? Does it feel good or does it feel really off? That’s the two ways that you can really tap into your authority in your human design chart and make soul aligned decisions that will lead you on the right path.

And if you need help finding your human design chart, your authority, please contact me. I’d be happy to help you to find it.

6. Release Guilt with inner child meditation

Now that you are starting to separate yourself from the lies of the narcissist, and are on the path to recovery, guard your heart and mind so you do not fall prey to their schemes again. The most common number of attempts to permanently leave the abuse is 12 times. I myself took 7. And others have stayed for so many years, left after their kids were grown, and went back after a couple years of being separated. You must always be vigilant, they will persuade and lie to you to get you back in their arms but to yet again relax their act and use and abuse you. Here are some ways to guard your heart and mind against narcissism. 

  • Critical Thinking- Once you stop feeling guilty and care about what the narcissist says, you are able to now read between the lines. They talk a good talk, but love doesn’t hit you, love doesn’t ghost you or stop talking to you to get you to apologize. 

Love doesn’t control how you look, what you say, how you act, or who you hang out with. Love doesn’t tell you lies and put you down with a caring tone. Love doesn’t insult you when someone is mad. Love doesn’t deflect apologizing, and push off the responsibility for their actions and blame the other person. Love doesn’t make you feel worthless without them.

Love compliments you. Love sees your beauty without any makeup or high heels. Love is vulnerable. Love is raw. Love is honest. Love holds space for healthy conflicts to be resolved for both parties to win. Love empowers. Love gives you freedom. Love apologizes. Love takes responsibility. Love lifts you up. Love allows you to soar and shine in your bright uniqueness. Love embraces your differences. 

  • Release the guilt. If it is one thing I’ve learned in my healing with ALL my relationships, is that as an empath, it is NOT my responsibility for how others feel. When we care so deeply, we absorb others’ feelings like a sponge. But we can only be one person, ourselves. And we cannot govern anyone elses. The narcissist recognizes the when an unhealthy empath is in the habit of taking on guilt and shame as our job, they are attracted. Because then they can pour all their fears, and emotions into the other, not taking responsibility and using them as a container. The empath takes on this guilt so personally and once you learn to guard your emotions, you will be free from their shame and guilt traps. 
  • Practicing the inner child meditation is key to release generational guilt and healing your self at the core.
  • It is your responsibility to express your needs and boundaries, it is NOT your responsibility how that person reacts. If they react negatively, that means you placed a healthy boundary and the other person is not the healthy. It’s a sign you need to cut off contact, or limit your time with that person. If you live with this person, you need to get a plan in place to get professional help, and or move out. 
  • Don’t care, be cold as ice. As an empath, I had to swing far on the emotional scale at first to not give in to the games of the narcissist. I had to be cold and not care about how they felt with my boundaries. It was hard at first because I cared. But if this step is necessary for you to not give in and lower your boundary then practice it. It will be worth it in the end. 

7. You can’t fix anyone but yourself

The stoics say Epictetus says “The more we value the things outside of our control, the less control we have.”  

And Seneca says “The greatest power of ruling consists in the exercise of self-control.” Or living 

Marcus Aurelius said “there is never any need to get worked up about things you cannot control.” 

So stop trying to fix the other person into your mold and start investing into yourself. 

The magical part is, it will create a natural force that will allow you to part ways OR inspire your partner to grow and be better as well

“there is never any need to get worked up about things you cannot control.”

Marcus Aurelius

And when you are with a narcissist you will never reach your true potential as a beautiful human being.

And when you are with a narcissist you will never reach your true potential as a beautiful human being.

Raven Scott

8. Draw Boundaries and hold them

“Boundaries are basically about providing structure, and structure is essential in building anything that thrives.”

Henry Cloud

 

Do any of these resonate with you? Let me know in comments below.
Rate and Review this podcast on Apple to help others find it.
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Join me on Patreon for weekly Energy Updates with Human Design Gate Transits and Astrology and Monthly Full Moon Circles and more! http://patreon.com/soulcollective9

“I salute the Divinity in you.”

– Indian brotherhood
Raven Scott

Raven Scott is providing women, who are feeling lost and alone in their journey, a community to kick ass as we become empowered together while healing from childhood trauma, abusive relationships, or plain old life, and awaken to rewrite our karmic story. Through astrology, self care, human design, & intuition.
We are energetically clearing ancestral patterns one step at a time to find our power and potential through healing so you can live empowered the unique loved individual you desire to be. Topics covered: Self development, Human design, Astrology, tarot, meditative thoughts, intuitive message from spirit, and expert guests sharing different spiritual healing modalities.
Your host and Patreon Community mentor, Raven Scott, is a narcissitic abuse survivor, author of Empath and The Narcissist: A Healing Guide for People Pleasers. And also is a Certified Meditation Teacher. Join us on http://Patreon.com/thrivingintuitive

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Published by Raven Scott

As an international author, narcissist abuse recovering coach, Podcast host of Empath & Narcissist and creator of healing workshops. She is dispelling the narcissists' power one soul at a time.

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